Everything Starts Somwhere
by Gemmadog
Summary: Every love affair has to start somewhere. This is Molly and Charles' story.
1. Chapter 1

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 1**

Molly woke suddenly but refused to open her eyes. The nightmare of the past few hours flooding into her memory. She groaned. Another Molly Dawes fuck up she thought. How did she do it? Here she was lying in Charles' bed, but all alone. 

She had arrived on Charles' parent's doorstep eight hours or so ago and greeted him with a cheeky "missed me?" He smiled, she giggled, he hadn't been expecting her, and she had wanted to surprise him. Looking back she realised that she did that alright! Just not in the way she thought she would.

They hadn't seen each other in over three months. Since Smurf's funeral to be exact. Over the past three months they had been writing to one another and occasionally texting. It was sporadic; she was in Afghan training medics while he was in Hedley Court undergoing his intensive rehab. Before she left they had had one wonderful date and night together. Promises of more to come, but then Smurf died and everything got turned on its head.

Their guilt and grief stopped them from seeing each other again until the day of the funeral, and by then her decision had already been made. She needed to run away from normal life. Get things sorted again in her nut. Charles had said he understood, supported her, and so she went on a short tour. It was undoubtedly the right thing to do for her, but it meant that for them, as a couple things were still very much up in the air.

When she tentively suggested that she visit him on her return he seemed more than happy with the idea. The letters he sent her were always sweet and just a little more than friendly, believing that they had something, she decided to surprise him. Turn up a day early.  
When he opened the door he seemed happy to see her. Directed her into to the house with a nod of his head and a smirk she took for happiness. Three months of this moment playing around in her head were always of a passionate clinch, of them madly drawn together unable to restrain their passions for each other.

The reality however was very different. He leaned over and chastely kissed her on the cheek. Telling her how he had missed her and it was good to see her. Then he spun her round and almost marched her into the kitchen. As soon as she entered, though confused by his almost brotherly welcome, she realised that it was probably due to the fact she had altered their plans and both his parents were home!  
She was introduced to Mary and George. Spent several pleasant but very frustrating hours chatting to them. They were friendly and eternally grateful to Molly for saving their son's life. It was gratifying to hear, but all Molly wanted was to have Charles to herself. For them to work out what they were to one another.

Fate intervened however, and not in a good way.

Her first symptoms were tiredness, then louder than usual tummy rumbles. She put it down to the vast quantities of tea she was drinking and the biscuits. But then she started to feel nauseous, and then the nasty stuff began. 

Embarrassing to say the least. Mind numbingly mortifying would be better way of describing it. Here she was less than twelve hours back in the UK and she was suffering the worst gastroenteritis she had ever had... in her potential new boyfriend's family home... in front of both him and his parents.

Eventually, when she stopped being sick and doing the other stuff that inevitably comes along, she made it to the guest bedroom. She was told by his mother, as she was shepherded in, it was the closet one to the bathroom. A sick bucket was provide, painkillers for her fever, and water. Then she was left alone in the darkened room to recover or to quickly sprint to the toilet again, whatever came first!

Charles thankfully didn't follow her up into the bedroom but stayed downstairs cleaning up after the apocalyptic mess she had made. She could only imagine just how pissed off he must be with her right now, how they all must be. 

So as she lay there she was fairly certain things couldn't get any more embarrassing and that any chance of a relationship with Charles was now dead in the water. It just not what nice young ladies did…..vomit all over the family kitchen floor, rug, hallway, cloakroom….. 

She had drifted off asleep again and was woken by the gentle tapping on her door. 

"Molly. You awake?" Charles asked. He pushed open the door with his foot. He carried a tray of drinks and some dry toast.

"Thought you might need a fresh drink." He said as he set the tray down and quickly went to open the bedroom window. The smell of illness hung in the air.

"Thanks. "She bashfully said. She appreciated the fresh air too. 

"God Dawes. You look awful." He sneered at her; she looked like death warmed up. He watched her closely, unsure if she wanted him there.

"Thanks." She replied embarrassed. Sitting in her ex CO's spare room, stinking of sick, wearing knickers and one of his t shirts, there was nothing more she could say really.

"I'm sorry Sir." She offered in a last ditch attempt, feeling so uncomfortable under his gaze. 

"Sir?" He frowned, and stared at her. "What happened to Charles?" He didn't want to be her CO, he wanted her to call him Charles, the way she had that wonderful night they spent together. 

"Don't know? Didn't seem sort of right anymore." She said. While she had been away she longed to call him by his name, now she was here, after what she had done, she didn't believe that he would have wanted her to. 

"Oh! I see…well…erm…OK." He looked disappointed, and she couldn't understand why. He stood at the edge of the bed awkwardly; she knew he wanted to be anywhere but in this situation. "Best you have some water and a few bites full of toast then. See how that does you." Firm and direct, no gentleness in his tone.

"Thanks." She picked at the pattern in the duvet cover. Feeling so awkward. "I'll get out if your hair as soon as I can." 

"Don't think that will be for a while." He joked, rolling his tongue around his mouth. 

"God please say sorry to your parents. I'm so embarrassed." 

"It's fine. They're fine. Kitchen, cloakroom, rug all clean and back to normal. Like you were never there." She almost detected softness in his tone that time. 

"Oh God." The memory of it all was too awful. "What time is it?" Thinking of nothing better to say to him, conversation used to flow so easily between them. This man, Charles, she thought would be her everything, and now she could hardly look him in the eyes. 

"About 11. I'm off to bed soon. Can I get you anything before I go?"

"No. Thank you." She watched him stand and hesitate at her door. It was expected but she was still sad he wasn't thinking about asking share her bed. He looked as though he was about to say something, like he'd wanted to stay, but merely left saying;

"Night Dawes." And softly closed her door. 

She never managed the toast. Her night was spent between lonely trips to the bathroom, of which there were many, and periods of exhausted sleep. When morning came she contemplated leaving his house and getting off to her parents, but time and distance from a toilet was still nothing that she could achieve. Her symptoms were still just as violent as the night before. She knew she was here for a while longer. The thought filled her with dread. 

It was closer to lunchtime when she saw Charles again. His mother had popped in several times during the morning since she woke, but she had seen nothing of Charles. She was bitterly disappointed that he hadn't come to see her sooner. She had expected at least a show of friendship from him. 

"Can I come in?" He timidly asked, poking his head around the door. 

"Of course. I must look a sight." She challenged him. He didn't reply. 

"I've err." He stumbled over his words. Not the usual Captain James she knew. "Contacted the Med Centre. With your symptoms and that. Seems there are quite a few of you that came back from tour with the same symptoms. They need to do some tests to find out what's going on."

She listened to his words. So he hadn't come out of concern to see her, more out of duty.

"Test? What do you mean? I can't get to barracks just yet." 

"No. No." He assured her. "The local hospital will do the tests for the Army. All you need to do is...errrr...you know... provide a sample." 

"A sample?" She asked innocently. "Of what?" 

Seeing him turn red she knew the answer. "Oh shit." She said. "They need a sample of my sh...?" 

"Yeah. 'Fraid so. Here's a pot." He placed the plastic pot on the cabinet. Not knowing where to look. 

"How will I get it there?" She feared the answer. 

"Ah well I said I could. You know drop it off." He stood with his arms folded across his chest. His default defensive position in a situation that made him uncomfortable. His eyes stayed firmly fixed on the carpet below him. 

"Oh bleeding hell." She rolled over and hid her face in the pillows. "You're gonna have take my, you know what to the hospital for me?" 

"Indeed Dawes. It's how we'll find out what's wrong with you lot." His answer in his Captain's voice made her realise that he was merely looking out for a soldier, not anyone who he thought of as a girlfriend. 

"Ok. Thank you Sir." She therefore formally replied. Watching his face wince as she said the 'Sir' word again, but if he was doing this by rank then so would she. 

"Ok. I'll leave as soon as I ... well as soon as you can... you know." Nodding his head at the pot, turning instantly. And then he was gone leaving her lone with her embarrassment…...and the bleeding pot. 

Several hours later he returned. Informing her he'd delivered her 'package' to the labs, and it would be tomorrow they would have the result. In the meantime he told her the Army had asked for her not to leave, so in Charles' words, she was stuck with them for the foreseeable. She could hear the regret in his voice. She could almost hear what he must have been thinking…..a one night stand that was now lingering. Before she left for her tour he made no promises, they had hardly got stared on a relationship, she had only presumed. So she couldn't really get too upset, yet she was. She never thought that Charles would be one of those guys who'd treat her badly. Yet that's what he seemed to be doing.

So she spent another lonely night, and it was the next day Charles returned with news that she has something attractively known as parasitic dysentery, as well as most of her section. Her symptoms would eventually go, and the treatment was a month's course of antibiotics. However due to cross contamination she needed to remain put in their spare room for the next five days.

"So as long as you start the antibiotics now, you'll start to get better." Charles said handing over the hospital booklet for her to read, and the large jar of antibiotics.

"Thank you." She seemed to say that a lot recently. "Sound bloody awful. What about you, your parents? I don't wasn't to pass it on?"

"No we'll be fine, once the antibiotic starts working and things start staying in your body. There's no risk." He smirked at her. "Now." He said. "I'll fix you some lunch and you can start on the meds straight away."

He was true to his word, and even joined her. He seemed somehow happier and more relaxed around her. She sat on the edge of the bed, while he in the armchair, both eating off trays. He didn't stay long, saying he expected she needed a sleep, but he promised he'd be back with her evening meal. When he left Molly felt a little happier too. Her stomach and guts weren't churning as badly as they had been, and their conversations were a little bit less stiff than they had been.

And this was how it continued for the next four days. Charles visiting her room numerous times each day, each time with more and more food, delicious cakes and cookies, as her appetite improved. Her symptoms abated, and she started to look, smell and dress like Molly again. She still was confined to her spare room though, but each time Charles visited he stayed longer, and longer; their conversation as before became teasing, happy and very friendly. Molly felt hopeful. The Charles she fell in love with on tour seemed to be back.

On the fourth day however after her evening meal Molly, knew her time was up as a guest in the James' residence.

"I guess I can go home tomorrow?"

"There's no hurry, maybe a few more days?" He suggested as he cleared away her tray. Hopeful she would say yes. He had loved each and every visit he had paid to her. Seeing her so unwell terrified him, and was relieved to see her getting stronger hour by hour.

"No. I think I've been here long enough. Your parents have been fab, taking in a stranger and feeding me for a week. Best get back. Though I'll miss your mother's cakes"

He raised his eyes at her. Knowing he couldn't ask her to stay. She needed to get on living her life. "Where will you go? Back to your parents?"

"Nah." She knew that was where she didn't want to be. If she was honest she didn't want to leave his home at all. "Won't get much of a rest there. Back to barracks. Start my new job in a few weeks. Need to get sorted. Back to normal you know?"

He looked at her oddly. He felt her words were strangely poignant. "Back to normal? Yes I guess you're right. Things have been a bit surreal for a while haven't they?"

It hurt to hear him say this. When they were together things had been perfect, but not surreal, not to her. She still wanted him, even in her weakened state. "Yeah. I guess they have." She said. "I can't thank you enough Bossman."

He was stood by the door and stopped suddenly on hearing her words.

"Don't call me that Molly. Please." She saw the hurt in his eyes, and was confused. He continued. "That's not who I am, well I didn't think I was to you anymore. I thought…"

She hadn't a clue what he meant by that, so by way of an apology she said. "You're not, well you are…..well…..what I meant is…thank you Charles." Her reply didn't clear the situation up at all.

He turned away, struggling with the door handle and the trays. The plates and cutlery banged loudly in their attempt to escape, and she almost missed him whispering under his breath; "I'll miss you Molly."

Then he was gone.

Sleep avoided her. She told herself she must have imagined what he said, but there again she knew he had said it. Maybe she thought after all those months on tour, then his injuries, and everything else that went on he had just come to depend on her friendship. That was what he was alluding to. He certainly hadn't shown any further signs of wanting to be anything more to her.

Huffing at her inability to sleep she started on her packing. Hoping to leave early tomorrow with little fuss. As she packed she realised some of her clothes were still in the laundry room downstairs. She quietly crept down to retrieve them.

"Jeeze. You nearly gave me a Julius Caesar." She very loudly whispered.

As she had entered the kitchen she caught the outline of Charles' figure sitting at the breakfast bar in the semi darken kitchen, nursing a hot drink.

"Sorry." He offered. "Couldn't sleep?"

She was painfully aware she was only wearing her West Ham top and a pair of sleep shorts, dull boring and very old. She wondered why he looked at her oddly; he'd seen her in them before. Then a blush came sweeping over her as she remember the last time she was in this house, before she went on tour, before Smurf died, before they had stopped being something to one another…he had told her how she used to drive him crazy in those shorts and top on tour. How he used to watch her breasts strain against the fabric and jostle when she walked, how the shorts were always just not short enough to be indecent, but short enough for his imagination to frequently consider her finer points in them.

Charles pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Fancy a cuppa?" He asked.

"Please, and some cake if there's any going!" She cheekily asked. "What?" She giggled when she saw his smirk and eyebrows shoot up. It was good to see her appetite returning.

As he made her drink she watched him. Wearing jogging pants and a loose t-shirt, his leg still caused him to limp, but all wounds had healed. His stomach wound when she last saw him naked was angry and puckered, a dreadful shame that it marked such a beautiful body. The scares to his leg were hidden almost by the abundant dark hairs that grew on them, but still it was his leg that was causing him the most problems.

"So. What now?" She asked. They had avoided in all their letters, in all their friendly chats since she came home, that one subject that they should have been talking about. Not their future, but his. What was he going to do? He didn't answer immediately and she wondered if she had asked the right question at the wrong time. Eventually though he finished making her a drink and sat back down at the breakfast bar opposite her, their legs almost toughing over the edge of the stools. His eyes swept up to her face, his curls a messy beautiful mop on his head, but it was his face set with sadness that affected Molly the most.

"I have a medical next week…to see if I'm fit. I guess I don't want to make any decisions until I know I have choices. I know I fucked up out there, but I guess I'm realising that maybe it wasn't all down to me. Maybe if I can, if I do get the chance to stay in…..maybe I will."

His guilt, his grief over everything that had happen, had been talked about before. She had nothing more to say. She knew his pain. Gently she reached her hand across the breakfast bar and held his. He grabbed it like a man holding on for his life. Squeezing hard. He raised his eyes to hers and they shared a look that showed they both knew, both slowly realising that what had happened had not been their faults. His eyes glassed over, and he swallowed loudly, quickly turning his head away, his hand immediately following and leaving Molly's, playing with some imaginary fluff to save his pride.

The loss of his hand hurt Molly. She was offering him friendship, comfort and he abruptly removed her gift to him, closed himself off from her.

"What about you?" Clearing his throat, trying to get back on an even keel. "You looking forward to joining your new team?"

"Yeah. Pirbright. Bit nervous though. You know what I'm like on first impressions." And that was it; they were back to being friendly again. She felt lost and humiliated. He was the one who told her to go and sort her world out. She did, and had stupidly hoped he'd be there for her when she came home. But this past week had shown her something that she had known all along. Charles was a nice guy, but them as a couple in the real world was something he didn't want. She'd allowed him that one glorious night and day to get it out of his system, and he had. She could see now it was time for her, although heartbroken, to move on.

"You'll be fine. You eventually won me over." He rested his elbows on the surface and supported his face looking at Molly. The type of look that made her realise that she loved this man and the way he stared at her. No matter how hard it hurt she still loved that he looked at her like that. She dropped her eyes, breaking his gaze feeling as though this time though it was too intense and made her feel at that moment uncomfortable.

She stood. "I'll be heading off early tomorrow. I'll say bye to your parents then I'll be out of your hair."

"I could drive you back or at least to the station." He offered standing too close beside her. He could smell her shampoo, and body cream. She still had dark rings under her eyes from the trauma her body had been through in the past week. He didn't want to let her go, she still seemed too fragile. Beside he had no idea once she had left his home how or when he would she her again. This week had shown they were friends, bonded for now, but time and postings would interfere with that bond and eventually wear it away. It hurt him. He loved her, he had told her that once before. She never said it back, never wrote it in her letters. It seems the feelings she had for him, infatuation, hero worshiping, whatever they were…..had been… now seemed to have gone.

"God no! That's kind Charles, but I've been enough trouble for you. I'll find my own way home."

"It wasn't any trouble Molly."

She laughed at him. "No course it wasn't mate. Not exactly what you had planned though I bet when we said I should come over."

"No. I might make you right there, but I still don't mind." He moved slightly closer to her. He knew the hours were ticking by, and he probably would never be this close, this intimate with her again. He wanted to take it all in.

"Well I bloody did! I thought….well….when I came here…..I thought…after….you know before and that. Any way it doesn't matter. Duty done. You done your job as CO outstandingly. Thank you Sir."

She turned to go. He saw red, grabbed her arm and spun her around to him. He had spent the last three months worrying about her. Wishing the days away until her return, and when she did come home she'd been violently unwell. It hurt him to see her suffering. Frustrated him that they could not move forwards. Did she not understand how much she meant to him?

"Christ Molly I didn't look after you out of bloody duty. I did it cause I fucking love you." He almost shouted it at her. His Captain voice echoing in the night time kitchen. He was pleased the door was closed and his parents were heavy sleepers.

"You do? I thought….." She couldn't continue, blinking back the sudden tears that were welling in her eyes. She hadn't expected this she had convinced herself there was no 'them' anymore. If he did why was he so cold towards her, always distant? Never initiating touch or intimate banter. Just controlled polite conversations at all times. Not the actions of a man who was supposedly in love with her.

"God yes Molly….. I'm sorry!"

"What you sorry for?" She asked walking close to him, really close to him. Close enough to feel the energy pulsing around his body.

"I'm sorry cause I know it's too much for you. After Smurf and that… Sam…..I understand…I guess after tomorrow though you ...we don't have to see one another…."

"I don't want that you pranett." She pushed her chest into his, ever the gentleman he stepped back thinking it was accidental, but then caught the look in her eyes. Fire sparking across them. It made him bold; he held his ground relishing the quivering of her breast through his clothes.

"What do you want then Molly?" He asked leaning in and dipping his voice so she had to strain her neck to hear his words. She felt his fingers gently brush her back, resting on her waist with almost the slightest of touch or pressure.

"I want you."

"Why?" He was toying with her now, knowing her answer but needing her to say it.

She raised herself up on her tiptoes and hung her arms possessively, desperately, around his neck, moving to claim him and his lips as hers.

"Cause I love you Charles."


	2. Chapter 2

Everything Starts Somewhere

Chapter 2

She jumped off the bus before it had even come to a halt. Spotting him standing next to his car in the supermarket car park where they had planned to meet. Away from camp. Away from prying eyes. 

It had been a whole week since she had last seen him. A whole week since she had told him she loved him in his parent's kitchen. A whole week since he had walked her slowly, like before, up the stairs to his bedroom and spent the night just holding each other, talking and loving each other.

She had missed him.

They had texted lots since then!

They had spoken too, but he'd been busy with his rehab and she was settling in to her new room, new life. However their conversations this time were never hard, never hesitant, they flowed because these two people now had so much to say to one another.

Today had been a big day for him. THE big day really. When she got closer she could see him leaning on his car door, eyes cast down watching his feet scuffing the road below.

Fear filled her heart. He looked sad.

That meant bad news from the medical exam board he had attended today. Maybe they hadn't past him fit. Molly thought how unfair it all was. He'd been through so much to get back to normal. He didn't deserve his Army being taken away from him because of what happened. Who's ever fault it had been, he didn't deserve to be the one to lose everything he loved.

However as she slowed her run to a cautious walk nearing him, wary of his reaction, he raised his head and smiled. Beamed to be more accurate. 

"Well?" She almost shouted at him, still meters apart. 

He walked over towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders looking into her eyes. Still smiling. 

"I only bloody passed. They are letting me stay in!" He said. Then kissed her soundly on her smiling lips. A sweet jubilant kiss, a kiss that proved to her just how happy he was, and he was sharing it with her. 

He pulled back locking their eyes together, delighted to see that she was just as happy with the news as him.

"So you're back? Not resigning?" She wanted clarification. There was no room for any mis-communication between them on this. On something so important.

"I am…back… and I'm not…..resigning. Christ I didn't know how much I wanted to stay in until I thought I couldn't." He stated tipping his head back, looking to the sky offering perhaps a silent pray of thanks, and maybe even remembrance. 

"That's brilliant Charles. When? Who... where?" His happiness was infectious, it made it difficult for her to speak. 

"This is the best bit too. Bloody 2 section again. Aldershot. Start in two weeks. Spoke to Beck today. It's all sorted." 

"Aldershot?" She screamed. "Oh Charles that is bloody great." Then shyly she said. "It's just down the road from me you know." She looked coyly into his eyes to be met with mischief. 

"I know. Isn't it fucking great? I passed. I'm coming back." And he then picked her up and swung her around. Now that they were posted so close to each other there would be no waiting out anymore, no long distance relationship to deal with. 

She giggled into his shoulder, hanging on to him. Swept up in the emotions of it all in more than one way.  
"So you past then?" He playfully nipped her ear with his teeth as means of an answer to her cheeky comment. 

He put her down and looked around now conscious they were getting some attention from others in the car park. They needed to be careful, they were still keeping their relationship under wraps for now. 

"Come on Molly. Let's go celebrate." 

He drove them to a quite pub, miles away. So the chances of being seen by anyone they knew were slim. Both so happy. Molly could see the stress and worry leaving his body as they drove on. His life now had its direction again, its purpose, his Army. That's what Charles needed, but she secretly hoped even with all that he needed her too. 

He held her hand all the time he drove. Only releasing her fingers from his when absolutely necessary. He felt so lucky. After months of pain, worry and guilt he finally admitted he was coming out the other side... and he had Molly. He had a lot to be thankful for. 

As they sat in the pub she couldn't help teasing him about the grin on his face. The grin that hadn't gone, hadn't left since the moment he told her the news.

"What?" He said sitting down very close next to her. Putting the drinks on the table. 

"Nothing. Well not really. Just nice to see you happy…its cute." Pecking him on the nose with a kiss to prove her point. 

"I am happy." He said. "You're here." And he kissed her hand. 

"Awwww bleeding hell mate." She giggled playfully punching him on the arm. "Pack it in. I ain't your hearts and flowers type of girl you know that." Though she was really delighted when he said things like that to her. Charles was learning, starting to understand. He knew too although she protested, he could see that she enjoyed his declarations. 

"Yeah I know." And winked at her. That wink always held such special memories for her. She wondered if he had them too. He pulled himself way from her a little and took a drink of his pint. "But I meant it... you make me happy." 

She picked up his tone instantly and knew now wasn't the time to joke. He was offering her a bit of his heart, right there in the middle of an over price, up its own arse pub. She accepted it and offered hers back.

"Yeah you make me happy too." Was her reply. 

"Thank you." He said, grateful for what she said. "Now was that hard?" He threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. Sometimes he felt she couldn't be close enough to him. They had spent too long apart. 

Feeling the gentle scratch of his jumper on her cheek, loving the possessiveness he had over her at times she replied.

"Nah, just don't get used to me being all soppy though. You'll ruin my image."

He laughed and kissed her ear. Moly Dawes was like no other girl he had ever dated. She was strong, brave and brilliant yet full of self-doubt. Mine you so was he at this moment. He held on to her a little bit tighter. He was nervous.

"I was wondering if you fancied going away for a few days….with me?" He attempted to sound nonchalant, but even he could hear the fear in his voice.

She tried to wiggle round to look at him, but he held her firm. He didn't want her to see how nervous about this he was. He also didn't want to see her face when she said no.

"Away? Where?" She asked. Her heart was in her mouth. She wanted to say yes straight away. To spend time with him, any time, was what she wanted. That night they had spent in his bed the other week, nothing too intimate had happened. Molly was still just a touch fragile, and Charles would not risk her recovery…leaving them both frustrated. Now she knew what it was like to have carnal knowledge of this man who was holding her tightly in her arms she wanted more of it…lots more of it. So the answer to time away with him was always going to be a yes.

"Well I've booked a few nights away in a luxury spa type hotel in the country." He said. "It's meant to be really nice, a friend recommended it." Her wriggling became too much for him to ignore. He realised her.

Once free she turned and looked at him directly in the face, her eyes dancing with excitement.

"Luxury hotel…..I don't know…I've kind of never done stuff like that before."

"Please." He asked. "I don't really want to cancel it again, they were so good last time."

"Again? Who the bleeding hell were you meant to be taking Charles?" She moved herself away from him in disgust. Surely he wasn't offering her a second hand min break…was he?

"You, you daft thing." Laughing at the horror on her face. "I just meant the other week. Had it all planned when you came home and that. Then you became unwell and….well we couldn't really go could we. So I cancelled"

"You had it booked the other week? Why didn't you say anything?" She couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Well." He sat up straight and took a large swig of his beer. "Didn't want you to feel any worse than what you already did. And then when you started to call me Sir and Bossman I kind of thought…well I started to think that …..you …..know….change your mind or something." He finished his confession, all the time one hand played with his curls at the back of his head. Avoiding her green curious eyes. Worried he'd see pity in them.

"Oh my God that's just the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." She was blown away by what he had said. That he had doubted her, when she was the one who was doubting him during her illness. She never once thought, or could believe that he felt the same.

"I love you, you pranett. Course I'll come away with you."

He pulled her along the bench that they shared, closer to him and kissed her, gently, softly and oh so perfectly.

"That's the second time you said that you know, in as many days. You might be getting soft Molly. Maybe you are all hearts and flowers after all." He teased her, rubbing his nose up and down hers.

"What?" she looked confused, and pulled back slightly.

"That you love me!" He smiled at her, then pecked her lips. "I like it."

"Yeah? Well I like saying it too…..and I mean it. Though you know what I like more?"

"What's that?" He leaned in, resting his forehead on hers.

"When you say you love me back." Raising her eyes hopefully. Amazed with herself that she was nigh on begging this man to tell her that he loved her. She knew he did, she just really liked hearing him say it.

A deep chuckle started from his chest and burst out from him. He softly took her face in both of his hand, his lips almost touching hers. "I love you too Molly Dawes." Then claimed her smiling lips as his own.

They stayed in that magical embrace for a few more moments, mindful of where they were, then broke apart, and settled into sitting close to one another. Content at merely being close, being able to hold and touch one another. Their hands enjoying the others. Molly's hands were rough and ragged, as hazard of her last tour. While Charles' were unusually soft and smooth, just one callous remained on the palm as a reminder of his dependency on crutches not that long ago. Both sets of their hands told their stories, as well as their belief in their future together.

"When do we go?" Molly asked.

"Tomorrow? The day after? I can't really wait Molly. I just want to be with you." He sighed with a longing she understood. Knowing that them both living in barracks would mean their nights together would be few and far between until they sorted something better out.

"I can't either, but could we leave it until the day after? I've never done something like this. I might gonna have to go shopping and stuff. I don't even know what to wear." She was starting to panic.

Charles picked up on this, he found it easy to forget just how young and naive she was at times. It was easy for him to get carried away, he wanted to show her everything, spoil her, but he knew she was fiercely proud and he had to go at her speed.

"Honestly Molly, jeans, T-shirt, swim costume, sports stuff….oh and nice dress or two for the evenings. That one you had on our first date…something like that."

"Shit. I definitely need to go shopping. Don't have a swim costume, cause I can't swim! And that nice dress….that's the only nice dress I've got. Weren't much need for dresses like that where I grew up." She started to mentally make a list in her head as to what she needed to buy, and it wasn't a small one.

"Look I can help…maybe buy you a dress or something?" He offered.

"Don't you bleeding dare." She half joked and Charles knew it. "And we'll be going halves on it too." She had money, maybe not a lot but she wasn't going to go into a relationship with Charles under the expectation that he paid for everything.

"Oh no." he pulled her onto his lap. Not caring where they were. "This Molly is my treat to you. To say thank you, for all that you've done." He was quite stern in his reply.

"I was only doing my job." She whispered, in danger of losing her good mood.

"I know, but can't I treat my amazing girlfriend every now and then?" He needed her to accept this, he wanted to make her happy.

She smiled, happiness burst back into her life. It was the first time he had called her that…..his girlfriend. The first time she had thought of herself as that…with anyone if the truth be told. She liked it. She therefore gratefully accepted his treat.

Two days later saw them draw up the driveway of a very expensive and large country hotel. Molly's eyes were everywhere. Charles could feel her anxiety, and kicked himself that he might have chosen something a bit too much for Molly to handle on their first time away.

"Oh my God Charles, are you serious. I can't go in there! They won't want the likes of me in there." She pointed out the window. Seriously wondering about whether the clothes she had bought were good enough.

He found a space, and stopped the car. Turning to her after her statement. Needing to calm her down, wanting her to appreciate herself a bit more.

"Don't you bloody dare Molly. You've just as much of a right to be here as anyone. Shit they don't care about anything as long as you pay the bill at the end of your stay. They're here to make money not judge. Now come on, stop that." It came out a bit sharper than he had meant it to, and thought that he had seriously messed it up, until he saw her chuckled.

"All right Captain Bossy Boots, keep your wig on. I'm coming." She opened the door and jumped out. "Oh and by the way.." She shouted over the roof as he fetched her bags. "It's your money we spending remember….and therefore I intend to spend it a lot…just so you know… make sure I fit in proper and that."

He laughed and went to grab her hand, carrying the bags in the other.

"Oh no you don't." She said. Then it was her turn to scold, telling him that he still needed to be careful with his side and leg…..plus she wasn't no delicate flower that couldn't carry her own bag up a bleeding drive way.

"Besides." She said as they entered the reception area and pulled herself up to kiss him, to appease his wounded pride. "You never offered to help when we were on tour…. Now did you?"

They checked in with no problems. No one looked at Molly in a way that made her feel uncomfortable, or questioned her as to why she was there. Charles however got a few, well a lot more than a few, admiring glances from the female reception staff. Molly just sniggered under her breath at their attempts to flutter their eyes at him. He appeared to be completely oblivious to it all. He only kept looking down at Molly and smiling at her, with that smile that took up most of his face, the smile that Molly always responded to in equal measures and was becoming her favourite smile of them all.

As they got closer to the room Charles felt as nervous as a school boy, he wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted Molly to know that in a very short space of time she had become his world. His everything. So much more than he had ever felt about someone before. If he was honest that scared him a little, but he also realised that he was powerless to do anything about it. What he felt for Molly, what they had been through defied anything he had experienced before. He was happy and he was looking forward to more happy times with this remarkable young woman. He knew though he was more worldly wise, and needed to be careful not to scare her off. He didn't want it to be too much too soon for her.

"Bloody hell Charles. It's gorgeous." Molly broke his thoughts as they entered the room. He had to agree. Pleased she seemed happy with the rather over the top suite, rather than revert back to feeling as though she wasn't worth it.

"Oh my God look at the size of the bath!" She shouted from the bathroom.

She ran round the room examining everything and commenting with more and more delight of each new discovery.

"I can't believe we're here for three nights." She said finally stopping in front of him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Thank you."

"You. Miss. Dawes. Are. Very. Worth. It." He kissed each word across her face and neck.

He was seriously tall, and she wasn't. To kiss him she had to stand on her very highest tiptoes and he had to bend his back to get in close. She didn't want that. She wanted to be equal with him. Taking him by the hand she turned away and pulled him over to sit on the bed. She then straddled his lap. Faces now level, her hand brushing his curls away from his face. She liked his hair long and silently sighed that when he reverted back into Captain mode he have them all cut short.

"Do you know something Charles James, because of all this, because of what you've done, you are going to get so bloody lucky this weekend. Just you wait and see"

Both erupted into joyous laughter. Molly because she had never been this bold before, and it felt good. Charles because he really really really hoped it was going to be the truth. They held on to each other and started to explore each other first with their eyes, then eventually their tongues and hands. Their love making was slow, very deliberate and very tender. Both knew that the roads they had travelled to get them back to here had been hard, but the reward was them both totally and utterly giving themselves to one another in the most special of ways.

Later they lay in each other's arms hours later. Satisfied, happy and totally blissful in their post coital world.

"I don't think it gets better than that." Molly simply stated. Running her hand across Charles' chest, lingering a while to toy with his nipples.

Charles groan, and his desire instantly responded to her touch.

"Molly." He warned, taking her hands off his chest and kissing them, she smiled teasingly up at him, biting her lip. "I think I might make you right there though." And rolled her over on her back and started his exploration of her mouth and body all over again. "Christ you'll be the death of me though." He groaned in to her demanding mouth.

She returned his kiss, but only briefly.

"I'm starving." She suddenly announced. "Let's go eat." She jumped out and up from underneath him.

"Really?" he cried, amazed… she was saying 'no' to round two.

"Yes. Really. Now I'm off to shower, and then get myself dolled up for tonight. And just so you know I think the shower might just be big enough for two, and I also have fabulous new underwear for you to take off later tonight. Sooner I get it on, the sooner you can get it off. You coming?"

Charles scrambled from the bed chasing after her into the bathroom, she squealed with delight as he caught up with her. He most definitely hoped he would be.

That was the routine of how the next three nights and days went. Molly and Charles teasing each other and pleasuring each other in equal measures. They loved their time together, getting to know one another, learning about each other's bodies, lives and family. Molly had never been so looked after by anyone like this before, both in and out of the bedroom. She had never been considered, spoiled or thoroughly loved. Charles was a true gentleman and Molly realised that up until now she had rarely met a true gentleman never mind being cared for by one.

During those days and nights of talking Charles often talked about Sam, his son. It was obvious that he loved him and missed him. He said that he had taken the divorce hard, as most six year olds do, and their visits together often ended in them both being in tears. He never mentioned though to Molly about her meeting him. Charles felt it was too soon for everyone involved. He didn't want to scare Molly off or upset Sam. Molly appreciated this, as she felt much the same way. Especially when it came to the subject that she skilfully avoided about him maybe meeting her parents!

Their time away passed too quickly and soon Charles was driving Molly back to her camp. They had stopped a few miles away so they could have time to say their proper goodbyes to each other.

"God I've had a great time. Thank you." Molly was held in Charles arms stretched across the front seat. "I don't want to go back."

He look out into the bleak road in front of the car, it matched their moods. As the hours ticked down to them leaving bit by bit their moods become lower, bleaker. Separation after such an intense time in each other's company was always going to be hard.

"I don't know when I'll see you again Molly." He sadly sighed, even though he only lived fifteen minutes up the road, he had a lot to catch up on once he was back. "I start back on Monday. Probably be full on. Might manage one night during the week?"

"That would be nice. I'll be pretty busy too. So best we say next weekend?" She understood, she wasn't worried, she'd take anything they could get. 

"Ok but I'm seeing Sam on Sunday at Rebecca's. So that leaves Saturday!" He cautiously mentioned his ex-wife and their arrangements. It just made sense seeing Sam somewhere he knew and felt comfortable with. even though it was painful hard on Charles having to listen to Rebecca's snide remarks all the time. 

"Don't know how I'm going for cope without you to be honest. These past few days have been perfect." She nuzzled into his coat while he tightened his arms around her. Her words mirrored his own feelings.

He felt rubbish about this situation too. Neither of them had their own place to go to. Both were living in barracks and for now while they were keeping themselves secret there was no way they would be able to visit each other's quarters. So apart from the odd weekends away amongst their demanding schedules and his visits to see Sam, dating was all they would be able to do. Charles laughed at the irony of it. He was almost thirty, a grown man, with a son force to snogging his girlfriend in the car, while his wife lived in style in their former home.

After he had dropped Molly off at the gates, very secretly, he continued on musing over the facts. There was only one thing he could do about their situation. If he wanted to see more of Molly he had to change their situation.

He was back to looking after two section, back to barracks close to Molly, after the unsettling years of the break up with Rebecca, his life was finally getting a feeling of stability again. He liked that and wanted to keep it that way. Keep Molly in his life. 

So he decided, a quick and very easy decision if truth be told. He drove up the high street and pulled over outside a certain shop, with a good reputation for quality and fairness. The young lady stood behind the counter, taking in his good looks and curls, eager to assist. 

"I'd like to see what properties you have to rent around the Aldershot area please."

Charles had made up his mind he was moving out of barracks. Setting up a home for him and Sam to come to at weekends, away from Rebecca and her comments, and where he and Molly could be together whenever they wanted to be . 


	3. Chapter 3

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 3**

"It's alright isn't it?" He knew it was but Molly's opinion really mattered to him. They stood in the middle of the front room of the house he was renting.

"Yeah it's great. Need a bloody good clean though." She smiled and then grimace catching sight of the bathroom again. She had seen worse, but this was up there as being the worse she had seen on home soil.

"Guess that's why it's so cheap." He offered. 

Charles had been lucky. There were a few properties available straight away. Of those this was the biggest, closest to them both but also certainly the dirtiest. This three bedroom house had been left in a hurry by a family who had questionable domestic skills.  
He'd been excited when he got the keys. He'd been even more excited to tell Molly about his move. Initially, though she was a bit shocked by his news to rent a house. Then when he made it abundantly clear this wasn't him asking her to move in with him, she was delighted. She saw the benefits of some privacy with him as much as he did. Her mild panic instantly disappearing, cause moving in together would have been too much way way way to soon! 

"Guess this will be Sam's room? Needs a shit load of paint and that before he can sleep in it." He said walking into then around a decent sized second bedroom. 

The house had no furniture. It was better that way, but he knew he would have to start asking Rebecca now for some of the furniture from their old house. When he left, before they divorce, she just kept everything, because living in barracks he needed nothing, he didn't want anything. He had felt guilty enough about leaving, never mind taking half the furniture. Now things were different, he was starting over again, and he wanted his fair share. 

"So how you want to do this? I've never decorated before but I'll give it a go if you show me. But I'm the nuts at cleaning bathrooms. On my previous tour had this right pain in the backside Captain who always put his section on latrine clean" She joked with him. This was going to be his home, awful though it looked, she wanted to help make it nice for him , them and eventually Sam.

He ticked her under her arms, making her squeal.  
"Now I bloody knew there was a reason I did that so often. Was getting you in practice for today." He tickled her harder, her squeals getting louder. "Seriously though." He shouted over the top of them. "You don't have to. I can do this on my own."

Pulling herself away from his tickles, panting for breath and rearranging the blouse that had somehow come undone due to his ministration, she said. "I'll willing help as long as I don't have to do a 5k run first. I know what you're like you bossy bastard." She loved the ease at which they could tease each other, as well as loved each other. She knew he didn't expect her help, and that's what made her willing to give it more.

"Got to keep your fitness up Molly. And you know…" He said grabbing her into him again, slowly unbuttoning the blouse she had just done up, kissing slowly down her neck with pure animalistic need. Growling the last of his sentence almost into her cleavage. "You know I do adore a keen and eager soldier!"

Molly never had a chance to reply. He whipped his head up only to punished her mouth with a desperate kiss, claiming her as his, in a way that thrilled them both. Their passionate and almost savage desire for each other taking over. He moved her back against the wall, pinned her to it, while she tugged his clothing and frantically went to release him, tugging at his belt and trousers. He caught the look in her eyes as she reached in and took hold of his hardness, realising there was no going back. Within seconds she had him brought almost into a state of emotion where there could only be one way of sweet beautiful release. He had intend to take her there and then, lift her onto his waist and complete her. He needed Molly desperately. His breath caught the back of his throat as he hesitated and he became helpless to do anything, watching as Molly slid her body down to the floor, and knelt in front of him. She lowered herself below his waist, her destination obvious. When she arrived at it she took him in her mouth there and then. Driving his pleasure onwards and upwards, his shouts of ecstasy were embarrassingly loud. To him the whole act, Molly's performance and skill, was so erotic. He lowered his eyes to watch his love kneeling before him, his underwear and combats gathered around his ankles, her head bobbing before him. She was in soul charge of the waves of ecstasy she was eliciting from his body. Soon Charles was lost. 

Eventually Charles came back down to earth. His legs unable to hold him post climax. He had scored high and was now coming down to earth, completely spent. He desperately needed to recover, and so they both slumped down onto the gritty carpet. No longer caring, while Charles tried to adjust his clothing, clinging on to Molly. He knew right here right now that she was too precious ever to let go. 

"Well that was interesting." She giggled. Looking up at him for reassurance that her act of love was something he'd enjoyed. 

"That was bloody amazing." He sighed, rubbing his hand over his faced, still trying to gain a better degree of coherence than what he felt at this moment. His senses were still on heightened alert, his body still drained. 

"Thank you." She smiled at him, grateful of his praise. She was so confident in so many things, but sometime when it came to sex she always worried that she'd be view as loose, a bit too eager. She had certainly never been made to feel that way by Charles, but certainly by others. She was happy that sex with Charles in whatever form it took seemed just so right. No judgements, no expectations. Nothing was too much, nothing was wrong. Sometime she could take the lead, but more than often or not he did. "Take it as your moving in present." She grinned.

"Mmmm. I will. Much better than pot plant I guess." He said, throwing his head back, and they both erupted in laughter. Proper slide splitting laughter that saw them rolling over further onto the grotty carpet. As they recovered a shared look past between them of utter delight, and amazement at just how truly comfortable they now were with one another. They lay there side by side for a while just smiling and staring at one another. Basking in the happiness of this new relationship.

Gradually over the coming weeks, whenever they were free Molly and Charles stared to make the house look habitable and definitely a dam sight cleaner. It still had no furniture, they still hadn't stayed over, all though they had enjoyed the privacy it offered them all over again. As things became more sorted Charles knew he was now at the stage where he could put it off no longer. He had to speak to Rebecca about getting some of their furniture for his home. It was not a task he was looking forward to.

"I was thinking of going to see Sam at the weekend and pick up some of my stuff from the house." He tentatively mentioned to Molly one evening. She was cleaning out the paint brushes. Like everything she did Molly had put her heart and soul into helping Charles in the house, and that included learning to decorate. She had her back to him when he spoke, wearing scruffy shorts and one of his t-shirts he had to donate to her, so he couldn't see her expression when he did. They had worked well together, Molly enjoying the skills Charles taught her. It had been fun. He didn't want to sour the evening. She stopped instantly to turn to look at him. Her face neutral, controlled. He couldn't read her.

"You got much stuff there still?" She asked carefully picking the paint off her hands. This part of his life, his life before her, his marriage was still an unexplored subject. Both subconsciously, she guest avoiding it as last time it raise its head on tour it cause a chain of disastrous events.

"I don't really know." He truthfully answered. "After I left I went straight on tour, when I returned I then went to barracks. Only took what I immediately needed I guess. Never really went back. Went there to see Sam ever now and then, but only briefly, never stayed. Don't know what's mine and what's not." He hung back in the door way, realising that his marriage, his life with Rebecca, that life he had before Molly would always cause a degree of angst between them. 

"Do you want me to come with you and help?" She offered because it was the right thing to do, but not what she wanted to do. She had met Rebecca very briefly in the hospital after he was shot. She seemed cold and judgemental. But she was beautiful, polished. Someone she would imagine Charles would have been proud to take out and show off. Someone who looked right for this perfect man that she had fallen head over heels in love with. Someone who was the polar opposite to Molly. She didn't feel she could compete against that.

"God no! Not exposing you to that. Can't imagine Rebecca is going to be that nice about it." Charles looked away from Molly. He was all too painfully aware that Rebecca could be a bitch, he recalled some of their fights. They were, due to their nature, understandably never pleasant and always made him feel so incredibly sad that he had fucked things so badly up between them. He did not want Molly to be exposed to that type of grief or witness the poisonous relationship that now existed between his ex-wife and himself.

Molly caught his mood. Grateful that he didn't take her up on her offer, but realising that there was so much of his and Rebecca's story that she just did not know.

"We've never talked about that at all have we... you know the divorce and stuff. What happened?" She needed to know, but there again didn't want to know. Ignorance is bliss, but Molly knew that it was only in her hearing the truth that she could fully understand this man in front of her. 

It was such a simple question, he asked her, so loaded with curiosity and his answers had the potential to make Molly see him in not too favourable a light. He panicked, even though he knew this conversation one day would come, he still felt unprepared for it. 

Charles drew in a deep breath and sunk down on the kitchen floor, his back against the units, long legs pulled up to his chest defensively. Molly settle herself on the worktop, watching him intently, wondering if he would answer her question. Marching his attitude, somehow distance between them at this time seemed important. 

"I left her." He said it simply and coldly. His voice showed no emotion but his face winced as he said the words and Molly saw the pain it had caused him. Hearing him say it surprisingly hurt her too. She'd never imagined he'd be the bad guy in this. Always thought he'd be the one who was wronged. Always though there would be some story where Rebecca had hurt him. It seemed she was wrong. Here he was admitting his marriage ended cause of him.

"I left her." He said again, head hung low, unable to keep eye contact with Molly. "Both emotionally and physically. I did it so many times. Again and again. It just became too hard for her. Too much for her to deal with, and then one day we decided we didn't want to try anymore. We both knew I wasn't invested in our marriage. Sam yes. But not a life with her. So I left. Got up, walked out, and left." 

He raised his head to look at Molly. Not expecting what he saw, and it scared him. She was still, her face seemed frozen in time, eye staring beyond him on some unknown spot. Partly out of fear, he guest at what she was hearing, and partly because she knew it would change the way she thought of him after he admitted leaving his wife and child, and choosing the Army. He had no excused, she just need to hear the truth, plain and simple. Have all the facts so she could then judge him.

"We met at Uni and it was good. She was fun. We had a good time. Then I moved on to officer training, joined the Army and started living the life I had always wanted. Always knew that's where I'd end up where I'd devote my time, energy. It was my life plan, not hers. I could see I was losing Rebecca, leaving her behind. I guess I was frightened to be on my own. After four years I'd invested heavily in my first serious relationship. Had just got used to her being there. She expected it, everyone expected it. So I asked her to marry me." 

"Wow." Molly muttered under her breath, she had been listening intently. "I thought she might have trapped you or something. Forced you to marry her. Instead you married her to keep her?" 

"Yes. I guess. As awful as it sounds." He admitted. "I thought I genuinely needed her though. Couldn't see a life without her. So I married her. Thought how my career was going to need me being married, needed the wife to go along side. Perfect couple. Perfect marriage. Perfect career. You know?" 

"Errrr. No sorry Charles. I don't. Were you in love with her?" So far what Molly had heard seemed cold and calculated. Charles had married Rebecca for appearance sake, to have someone at home when he came back from tours, to have the chance of a normal life on his terms, when he wanted it. 

"Thought I was. Until she stared to give me ultimatums about choosing her over another tour. To me there was actually no choice. It was always the Army. Christ that makes me sound an right shit doesn't it?"

"Yes." And saying those words his eyes flew up to her full of disbelief in her bluntness. He was unsure what he expected, maybe even hoped for some sympathy. It was obvious now that was not on offer. "What about Sam? What happened there?"

"She wanted kids. I just didn't know if I did or not. We talked, never really came to a decision. But she wanted something when I wasn't there. So she got pregnant. I was even on tour when Sam was born. She never forgive me." 

"Nah. I bet she didn't. That would have been tough on her Charles. How did she cope?" Molly's opinion of Rebecca was changing. She was now genuinely feeling sympathy for her. She fell in love with one man, who turned out to be something different as the years went by.

"She coped brilliantly. Did it all without me. That's really what proved to us that we weren't meant to be. She didn't need me and I didn't need her. We both loved Sam, but just not each other. We didn't even try to pretend anymore, and me leaving made us happier than we had been in years." He stopped there. He could see that Molly was processing the information. It was a conversation he'd been dreading, but it was long overdue. She needed to know his past and his desperate need never to make those mistakes again. 

"So what about now? If she is happier why is she so horrible to you? If it was both what you wanted?"

"Cause she hates losing! And I guess I was shit. Leaving her so many times and actually not treating her like the princess she thought she was. She hates me cause I left. Whereas she wanted me to stay only so she could hurt me every single day for not loving her anymore. Now her whole world appears to revolve around ways in which she can make my life harder with Sam." He had to be honest. Rebecca was a good mother, but an awful ex-wife. "When I left she spent hours, days poisoning Sam against me. She even turned up at my parents, screaming and shouting at them. Telling them about my performance in the bedroom and past conquests. They weren't too impressed let me tell you."

"Shiiiiitttt. Pleased I'm not coming with you then. You'll probably find all your clothes shredded when you go. Chilli powder in you boxers and that. Think I'm best out of this one." 

"Don't joke. She capable of it, let me tell you." He was pleased to see a small smile reappearing on Molly's face. "Do you think I'm awful? I mean I left my son. Couldn't, didn't put him first. Chose the Army over my marriage. That's what I regret every day. Not leaving her, but hurting Sam." 

"I don't know Charles. I can imagine what Rebecca must have felt like. But I wasn't there I don't know how hard your life with her was. Nor what made you make the decisions that you did. But I know you Charles your basically a good 'n', I'm sure you did what you thought was best."

"I did. It was hard. Harder than I can ever say. Living a lie with someone. Pretending you cared. That you love them. Knowing that you were only truly happy when you're without them, rather than with them. It kills you slowly. Every day I felt a bit more dead inside." He still remained sitting and hung his head, between his raise bent legs. He still felt great shame in his marriage breaking down. He may not have tried the hardest to save it, but he knew it was a matter of survival. His marriage was destroying him slowly.

Molly stood but didn't go over to him. If she was honest she didn't know what to do. She only knew Charles as an honourable man. Someone who seemed to put others first, always. She had seen that time and time again on tour. At least she'd seen it for those who he had a duty of care for and for those he love. And then it hit her. It changed everything. He hadn't done that for Rebecca because he truly just hadn't loved her. His feelings whatever they were, were not those of the utter and complete love that Charles James was able to give. And that's why he had to leave, to save himself. 

"Sorry Charles. Didn't want to make you upset. I guess you did what you did cause it's what you thought was best." Small contrite words, the only thing she could offer him at the moment. 

"I left my son. Hurt him. I didn't see him as much. How could a father do that?" He looked at her questionably , then he broke down and openly sobbed. 

Shit. In an instant Molly was on the floor holding in her arms a sobbing Charles. Her Captain. This strong, controlled man awkwardly crying in front of her. She didn't know what to say to make it right. She doubted if there were any words that would, that could help appease his guilt. She just knew that this man, who blamed himself for so much, even if it was out of his control, was broken in front of her and she needed him to know she was there for him. 

He cried longer than she had expected and continued to talk to her. He did just talk about his marriage, or Sam but talked about his shooting, Geraint and Smurf. About his decisions that he still believed caused so many people to get hurt. He poured out all the emotions he had stored up inside of him over the past twelve months and longer. Realising that he couldn't hold it in any more, and that he didn't want to. That with Moly it was ok to admit mistakes. That with Molly he could talk about his feelings. Something he had never, up until this point, ever been able to do with anyone. 

Eventually his crying stopped. Sitting there on the floor, just being held in Molly's arms, a crumpled wet mess, but somehow he felt lighter. It wasn't his proudest moment, but it was a turning point in their relationship. He knew he could depend on Molly. Speak his worst fears and she would still be by his side. 

"I'm sorry." He sniffed. Wiping his face and trying to regain some dignity. 

"God I'm not. Pleased you did that Charles. After Smurf….. I ran….. I left you here…..alone. I cried every night, every day, cause of guilt….and cause I missed you. Then I realised it wasn't us to blame it was just shit. Your Lady Luck failed us big time. The only thing that would make it right was you…being back with you.. so I came back…I came back to you. Believe me Charles you needed this. You needed to let it all out."

"Yeah I know. Thank you." Pulling himself up so now he was dominate in the holding. "But I am sorry about leaving Sam, I'll never get over that." His voice still held onto a few sobs as he spoke. His voice lower and delicate, but he was determined to continue. "Molly you must know that's not how I feel about you. My feelings for you are so very different to whatever I felt for Rebecca. It's like your my everything. I would always chose you, us, first. I meant what I said in that hospital. Army was everything… all I ever really wanted…..until I met you." 

"I know. I really do know that." She gently kissed him to give him the reassurance he needed from her. Though at the back of her mind she knew that a seed of a doubt was planted. Worried that maybe one day his statement, that he would choose her over the Army, would be tested. She pushed it away. She couldn't live with those doubts. She needed to believe in him, in them. That they were stronger than Army, stronger than his failed marriage, stronger than the fierce sense of loyalty he had to do his duty.

"I love you." She said and she really meant it. She had never known love like this before. Love that had allowed them to wait out in the beginning. Love that was now allowing them to share, and love that would see them through. 

"Ditto." Was his reply.

A short reply but that meant everything to them. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 4**

It had been nearly a week since they had seen one another, and Charles was desperate. He was also worried. Since their talk about him and Rebecca. Since he broke down in front of her they hadn't seen one another. He'd gone off and visited Sam, as well as to try to get a few pieces of furniture off Rebecca. It annoyed him that he had almost had to beg her for stuff that was half his by rights. It was a hard and uncomfortable task and all he really came away with were bits and pieces and a bed for Sam to use at his. Charles was fed up with arguing about pieces of wood. He told Rebecca to keep it all and he just have to buy everything he needed.

Molly had been busy too while he'd been away. They had talked but with her nights on guard duty, lesson preparation and the research she was doing into promotion she had little spare time. They talked on the phone a lot and she sounded fine, but Charles missed her and needed to see her. Needed that reassurance that she wasn't holding his past mistakes over Rebecca against him. 

He also needed to see her as he felt incredible jealous. The rest of two section had been on the first part of a two week course which Molly was very involved with. They had seen her every day, eaten their meals with her and socialised with her every night. They returned back to the barracks at the end of the first week full of tales about their girl Molly. It was hard for Charles he wanted to know everything ask questions, but had to keep himself in check to prevent the lads from becoming suspicious. 

He had been hoping to see her tonight but she informed him that she was going out drinking with some friends. It was just as well because as soon as Charles put the phone down from Molly his best mate, his former best man called. 

"Charlie Boy. How you doing?" He drawled in his posh Essex tongue. 

"Elvis. Bloody hell fella. Long time no see." Elvis was always flying off here and there. It had been quite a while since these boys had last met one anaother. 

"Well that's about to change. Have a 48hr stay in the UK. Fancy meeting for some drinks and a chat?" 

"Sounds good." Charles replied and arrangements were made. Even as Charles was making them he knew he'd be lucky in keeping to the timings. He certainly wouldn't be on time, too bust at work, and he wasn't.

When he did eventually arrive at the bar he could already see Elvis standing at the bar doing what Elvis did the best, chatting up a woman. It was only when he got closer did he realise just who exactly he was chatting up. It was Molly. She was enjoying herself. Laughing away at his comments, throwing her hair back over her shoulder and leaning in to listen to Elvis' stories above the noise of the bar.

Charles just watched her. He'd always admired Molly's figure. While on tour he found himself numerous times watching her secretly. The way she moved, carried herself mesmerised him. Being able to watch and not touch had been one of the hardest things he had done in his adult life. Even though on tour she was not provocative or sexualised, no soldier ever was, he found her body so tempting and so sensuous to observe.

That is what he felt right now watching her talk to Elvis. She looked gorgeous. Tight jeans and heels that carried off her figure perfectly. The view from behind, as delightful as the one he would see from the front. Her top held her breasts in firmly, tempting on lookers to linger their gaze over them due to their perfection. She wasn't dressed to show off, merely everything she wore she wore well, and suited her toned body. Standing there observing her now, he craved her like he used to. Needing to possess her, this time knowing that he could, made him step almost automatically forwards towards them.

He knew what Elvis was like. He knew that whoever he wanted in the female line he generally got. But he was surprised as far as he knew Elvis was loved up with a new woman in his life. Whatever Elvis was when it came to women he generally was not a cheat. Charles therefore didn't know what to do. Watching them was making him more jealous and mad. Interrupting them and possibly seeing her guilty face was going to hurt him. The decision however was taken out of his hands when Elvis spotted him and called him over. Molly look round and smiled. 

"Charlie Boy." He greeted him. 

Molly choked on her drink hearing Elvis' pet name for Charles. There was she thinking Charles was bad! 

Elvis gave his friend a strong hug, which was touching to watch, especially as Charles returned it with as much energy and warmth. These two were obviously very good friends.

"Bloody long time mate. You're looking good."

"Thanks. Good to see you too. All back to normal now." Charles replied. He still hadn't caught Molly's eye, unsure how he'd cope when he did. He could sense though she was seeking his out moving her head to try to interrupt his line of sight. 

"You're a sly bastard." Elvis said ordering Charles a beer and shot, without asking. The expectation there that Charles would be having one. He pointed a finger over to Molly as he spoke. 

"What do you mean?" Watching them both grinning at him, he felt as though he was left out of some secret they shared. 

"My Georgie asked me to drop some papers off for her in the med centre. While I was there got talking to Molly. She's mates with my Georgie. So I invited her for a drink." 

Charles still hadn't said anything. Elvis continued. Molly still smiling, but had a curious look in her eye, and moved closer to him fractionally, very much aware they were out in public. 

"So mate it seems my bird knows your bird!" Elvis finished his tale jubilantly. "And might I just say it's about bloody time. You're a miserable git when you're not getting any." 

For the second time that night Molly choked on her drink. She'd never been anyone's bird before, and wasn't too sure she liked it!. She looked at Charles with total amusement. 

"I know Georgie from a few years back, we haven't talked for a while. Then today when Elvis came in one conversation lead to another. He found out I knew Georgie and that I knew you. Several glasses of wine later and he now knows….I'm your bird." She laughed with Charles at how ridiculous that sounded. 

Charles beamed, with happiness and relief. He threw his arm around Molly and kissed her hello like he should have done when he first saw her. These doubts, these niggles of jealousy he kept having had to stop. Molly had only shown total commitment to him from the day he had met her. She wasn't the roaming type. 

"Right off to the loo." Elvis announced.

Leaving them alone, Charles threw his arm across her shoulders and kissed her hair.

"You look beautiful you know. You always do."

"Hey. This is a bit public?" Molly said referring to Charles' display of affection, but beamed up at him in response to his comments. She enjoyed his attentions as much as she enjoyed his words.

"No. It's not, not to me, not anymore. I don't care who knows. We waited out. You're not in my chain of command. No reason to hide it anymore. What do you say?"

"Bleeding hell Charles you sure?" And seeing him nod soundly she continued. "Sounds like a plan. A really good plan." She smiled sliding into his arms and hugging him. Hoping that the world and his dog could see them now. 

"Are you ok?" He gently asked, pulling his head back to look at her. 

"Yeah….why?" His questioned panicked her a bit.

"Just about last week and telling you about Rebecca. I was worried you know." 

"Yeah? I can see that. I understand. What you said last week…well I'm pleased you told me." And then they kissed. Molly didn't feel as though anymore needed to be said on the subject of him and Rebecca. That was then, this is now she thought. He's different, I'm different. Their kissing would have continued a lot longer but they were interrupted once Elvis returned.

"God sake Charlie, put her down and have a drink. Haven't seen you in ages….let's get pissed!" Elvis hung over the bar getting the server's attention for more drinks.

"Thanks but count me out. I'm off." Molly told Elvis.

Charles looked at her. "Where?"

"Told you I am meeting some mates. Just a little bit later than I had planned cause I didn't want to leave this sad tosser alone while waiting for you."

She slid off the bar stool she had been perched on, and put on her coat. She looked to see a hurt look on Charles' face.

"What's going on? You look like I've just shot your puppy or something?" Elvis laughed out loud on the other side of her.

"Nothing. Just thought since you stayed drinking with Elvis you might have stayed to have one with me." Charles could hear the five year old tone in his voice.

She raise herself up and kissed him on his pouting lips. "Gotta go. Made plans. You knew that…right?" She turned to say bye to Elvis and then looked back at Charles. "Don't get too pissed mind you, you would hate to miss out on joining two section on their 5 km run in the morning. Have fun."

And with that she was out of the door, gaining a few admiring glances as she left. He turned to see Elvis with several drinks in front of him, and huge smirk on his face.

"You've got it so fucking bad, haven't you mate." Elvis laughed poking him in the chest.

"Oh fuck off Elvis." Charles shouted and then ran off down the street.

"Molly….Molly….wait." He caught up with her half way down the street, her turning looking confused at him.

"Hey. Hadn't I just said goodbye to you. What going on?"

He grabbed her face. "Yes you did, but you didn't say you loved me." He teased.

"You pranett. Course I love you." Giggling at the silliness of him, enjoying this need he had, a need for her.

"And I love you too Miss Dawes." He replied, happy as can be.

"You know we need to talk about this letting everyone know thing. What about two section and that?"

"Yeah. I might make you right there. Come over to mine tomorrow. Please. I'll cook. Plus my new bed arrives tomorrow..…we could christen it." He raised his eyebrows at her in hope, his tongue trapped between his teeth perfecting the cheeky look he did so well.

"Can't I'm busy. Look I've got to go. Maybe at the weekend or next?" She started off, leaving him feeling bereft and very disappointed. He had seen something in her face when he suggested she came over, but he didn't know exactly what.

They never met up at the weekend, Molly saying she was busy. Charles really wanted to push it. But in all honesty he was too frightened to. He knew she was settling in, making new friends and working hard. But he had this idea that now they were a couple and him saying he no longer wanted them to be a secret anymore he would have seen more of her, not less. Once he had his own place, which was now almost completely furnished, he thought she would have been spending lots more time there. So far though she hadn't even spent the night. She said it was because she hadn't got round to organising an overnight pass from the guard's room. When he offered to help in the process and pull a few strings she very definitely told him if he ever did anything like that in her career she'd 'chop his balls off'. So he had never offered again. Had moved out of his barracks into his new home, and missed Molly.

The Monday morning saw him at Pirbright with the rest of the section undergoing the second part of the training. The lads had been in the class room for an hour or so when he decided to join them. He was amazed by what he saw. He had heard good reports but witnessing it himself was something else. At the head of the classroom stood his Molly, teaching a large class full of soldiers who were absolutely wrapped in what she had to say. She had such control over the group, her presentation, teaching style was amazing. Reports from her last tour, which he'd secretly read, suggested this, but seeing it himself made him so proud. Gone was the cocky young soldier he was strangely drawn to all those months ago, in its place was a confident, strong soldier who was professionally brilliant. Just like he said she always could be.

When he walked in Molly's head turned instantly, straightening herself respectful of his rank. Nothing gave away the nervousness she felt on seeing him there, watching her. She continue with only the smallest of pauses, no one noticed. She delivered her lecture, enjoying herself. She knew her subject and knew its importance to be taught well. Of course she was open to the inevitable mocking from the section, but it was nothing that she couldn't handle. Her eyes though frequently strayed to Charles' face in her talk. Only she could see the pride on his face watching her. Only she could understand the flash of emotion that crossed his eyes. Whatever he said afterwards it was his look, his pride in her that meant so much to her.

At the end of the lecture, the group filed out to the canteen. Molly promising to join them. Charles walked over to her purposefully.

"Well done Dawes. That was excellent."

"Thank you Sir. They are a good bunch. Easy to teach." She held his attention, aware that both of them found this new situation confusing.

"Well, then I guess you should double away then Dawes. Get yourself off to the canteen." He replied. This was the first time since Afghan that they had seen one another professionally. It was awkward. Both knowing the need to respect their professional boundaries. Neither knowing how to behave, not wanting anything to give them away.

At his words, his coldness Molly looked a bit hurt, disappointed even. Charles saw this. She went to turn, he couldn't let her go like this. They were alone so he grabbed her arm and bent to her ear.

"It was also fucking awesome Molly. I was so proud."

She grinned her grin. The grin that lit up his world that started his day, and brought peace to his world.

"Thank you Sir." She said again but this time it was said in such as a way that was a hundred times different from how she had said it last. It was said with love and joy. She wanted to make him proud of her.

He couldn't join them anymore that day. Other duties kept him busy. Though in everything he did he looked out for her. Molly too kept one eye constantly on the door hoping to see him again. They were on residential, so him and the section were having to stay in the camp for the next four nights. Being so close to one another, yet far away would be hard. Molly knew Charles would have to socialise with the other officers, and her adopted brothers of two section would certainly expect her to socialise with them.

That evening though Molly had escaped from two section's clutches after the evening meal, stating she had work to do. She had hoped for a text or call from Charles but no matter how many times she checked her phone nothing came through. She had tummy cramps and felt generally like shit, she just wanted her bed. She decide however to get on with some chores and headed down to the laundry room. It was deserted, warm and the hum of machines soon saw Molly falling asleep while sitting on the floor waiting for the machines to finish. She was woken from an amazing dream about Charles, to see him crouching in front of her gently shaking her shoulder.

"Molly. Molly. Hey there." He cooed into her sleepy face. " Come on sleepy head wake up."

"Charles. what are you doing here" Rolling her body into his crouched position. She knew that position hurt his leg if he stayed in it too long but she just wanted to be cocooned by his warmth while she slowly woke herself up. She knew him being there was risky, but for now she didn't care.

"Come to see my amazing girlfriend. Haven't seen much of her lately. Missed her."

"Mmmmmm. That's cute." Then as she fully woke up and reality took over she added. "Missed getting some action too I bet." She moved away breaking the dream well and truly.

"No. God Molly why say it like that. I missed you honest." He was a bit shocked.

"Shit Charles what happens if you get seen. Bit dangerous this isn't it?" She was fully aware of where they were now and backed away even more from him to keep a level of decency in case they were seen.

Charles noticed her putting distance between them. Struggling to understand why. "We'll be fine for a while. No one about. But if you're that worried. Come to my room. I could sneak you in." He half joked.

"No fucking way mate. I aint doing the walk of shame in the morning. All you bleeding Ruperts judging me." She replied with mild disgust at his suggestion. Gossip was rife on all camps, and her name would quickly become mud if she was seen.

"Ok then I come to yours?" He offered, hoping to make some headway in spending time together.

"No. I'll get into trouble." She definitely said.

"Come on Molly, well lets go back to the house then. I'll sort out passes,"

"Bloody hell Charles are you that desperate?" She couldn't believe how he was pushing this.

" No Molly. I told you I've missed you. What going on?" Charles felt totally confused.

"Nothing. Let's just wait until the next weekend then we can see each other." She hope to placate him. She could see he was upset with her. It wasn't what she wanted, she just needed some space.

"Hell Molly. Just tell me what's up. What have I done? Have I done something wrong?"

"I don't know have you?" She shot back. Her past experience with men had always painfully ended in her finding something out about them that she really didn't want to know.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked standing the pain in his leg starting to become too much.

"Nothing. It's me. Please Charles just leave it." She hoped he would this was starting to escalate into something not too pleasant. She stood too.

"Leave what? I can see something's wrong. Pleased tell me. I have a right to know why you're so pissed off with me, avoiding me." He looked at her, she looked pale and tired. Her body was slightly bent and defensive.

"I'm not pissed off with you. Bleeding hell Charles just leave it."

"No I won't Molly…. what's going on?" He was stern, not giving her an inch.

"Nothing." She was growing stubborn. Something she was famous for.

"Tell me." He almost shouted at her. Then quieter. "Please?"

"God Charles I messed up on my shot that's all. Got the timing wrong and that." She answered him quietly back.

"Your shot? I don't understand?" He stood leaning back against machine with his arms tucked underneath his armpits. Shaking his head trying to make sense of what she said.

"You know my shot? My Depo. My contraception shot. I forgot to have it."

"Oh right. OH. I mean…..what does that mean?" His eyebrow knitted together and his face was masked in worry. Surely this couldn't be happening to him again.

"Relax I'm not pregnant." She saw the panic, pleased that they were now on the same page. "I'm just not covered and that...well you know….. for the next week or so...we'll have to…..until the next shot."

"Is that it?" He walked over to her and placed his arms on hers. "You've been avoiding me cause we're going to have to use condoms?"

"Well yeah. Well I thought that you might have been a bit annoyed." She saw his face screw up into a question." Well you know thinking I was irresponsible and that. Just a silly kid messing your fun up. I didn't do it on purpose you know. I just forgot."

He pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her, he felt her wince. "Molly, these things happen. You forgot. I'd never think of you being a silly kid. You're not. You're amazing, and you know what you're my amazing, and that makes me so happy. Condoms or not."

"Really?" She pulled back to look at him. "You're not pissed off you can't get your leg over?"

"Who say we can't?" He asked confused again.

"Ah. Yeah well. I might also have stared my period too. Got bloody awful cramps, spots galore, and me tits are really sore. Not exactly fun now am I?"

"No you're beautiful. I can't see any spots, not one. I'm sorry about your tits, cause I happen to love them. I love you. Period." He placed a kiss on her now smiling lips.. She felt so different about everything since the beginning of the conversation

"Seriously you're not pissed off with me?" She'd been panicking for that past few days, worried he'd shout at her for messing their fun up, but here he was being all understanding about it. Molly for the first time felt like a grown up, in a grown up relationship. She liked how Charles James was making her feel.

"No. Now come on. Let's get you to bed." She raised an eyebrow to him, but he continued. "We'll get you some painkillers for your cramps, and a hot water bottle, and an extra special, but very gentle cuddle from your boyfriend, who's going to look after you all night."

That's exactly what he did. They got to her room without being seen and he looked after her, made a fuss of her. He spent the night rubbing her tummy and cuddling her, repeatedly trying to hide his excitement from her. Being pressed up against her semi naked body was always going cause a natural response, but Charles wanted her to know he was there for her, for Molly, not for the sex. To him she meant more than that, and although he really enjoyed what they shared together, this closeness they were sharing now was just as beautiful. He'd never done this to anyone before, and soon felt that just holding Molly, soothing away her pains, allowing her to depend on him to make her feel better was one of his favourite things.

He left her bed early the next morning. He did his walk of shame to his room, but he did it proudly. Although strictly against the rules he doubted anyone would challenge him. Besides right at this moment he didn't care. He'd been there for Molly, it was only a minor thing, but he still had for the first time in a long time put someone else's needs before his.

When she arrive in the classroom Molly was blown away by what she saw. He'd left her that morning with the briefest of kisses, knowing he had to get back. She understood, just grateful he'd spent the night with her. She had been foolish hiding her error from him, thinking it was the sex he needed. After last night Molly realised that it was her, that he wanted. The small package on her desk proved that.

Tied in a red ribbon, just like the one his precious Rosabaya capsules had been tied in by her, were a packet of painkillers. Next to them was a cup of hot tea and a chocolate bar. The note, just to make sure there was no doubt as to who the gifts were from, merely said:

 _Dawes, take me, drink me, eat me. With my love x_

Her face broke out into a huge grin, which had to be covered by her hand as she saw two section making their way into the room. Charles surprisingly followed right behind them joining in with all the easy banter. He smiled briefly at Molly as he took his seat, bashfully turning away, knowing she found his gift . This time Charles attended all the lecture, sitting at the back, attentive and so professional. It was only when every now and then she took a sip of her tea that a smile dance briefly, hardly noticeable to anyone, between these two lovers.

It was lunchtime that they eventually had a chance to speak again. Charles' first words were in asking how Molly was feeling.

"Its only period cramps. A bit more than usual because it the first since my last shot, but I'm fine. Thank you, and thank you for the gifts. That was really sweet."

She saw Charles blush, she thought that actually might have been the first time she'd ever seen it. They were still in uniform, still professional, still no inappropriateness between them. He just looked up from where he was perched on a desk and said.

"I know, but it important for you to know…you mean the world to me…I want to be there for you."

"You were. Thank you."

He cleared his throat and stood to leave, but she knew he still had a question to ask her. His face was hopeful and his eyes bore into hers.

"Now Dawes before I go. I have a favour to ask you."

"Boss?" Was all she said. Smiling into his eyes. Playing along with the game, the memories of the tent in Afghan in their minds.

He held onto the door handle this time, not crouching in front of her as he had once before. It was too public, they had too much respect for where they were.

"Tonight, and this weekend, sort out some bloody overnight passes. You're coming to mine and we are going to spend the night together in my new bed. I'm going to cook you a meal, look after you , and then drive you into work tomorrow morning, and I don't care who see us. Got it?"

"Yes Boss." Was how she answered through her happiness, and then watched him walk off down the corridor to join the rest of the lads.


	5. Chapter 5

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 5**

"Stop it Dawes. I'm this close to writing you up on a charge. Just bloody stop it." 

He stood over her, arms folded tucked under his armpits legs slightly spread in an angry stance. He had his Captain stern face look on. The type she knew she shouldn't be messing with. His look was cold. 

She giggled at him. Even lying on his bed, semi naked she knew who held the power here.

"Really is that right? Ah… come on you know you want to, and I'll really really make it worth your while." She almost purred the last words to him pulling off her night shirt. Now she was completely naked. Totally in control. 

"Bloody hell Molly stop." His tone was harsh but she noticed he still sat himself down on the bed next to her, reaching across to stroke her bare thigh. He'd given up getting dressed. 

"You know that stern Captain stuff doesn't really work when you're sitting there in just your boxers you know?" She sat up slowly tracing her hand down towards the item of clothing in topic. Her bare breasts brushing across his chest. He groaned with desire as Molly's hand reach her destination and teased him. 

"OH God please stopppp. I've got to go." He trailed kisses along her face and down her neck. He had absolutely no intention of leaving her now. He knew he was going to be late. He just knew though it would be worth it.

As he climb over to her and pulled her into him, she mocked.

"You're so easy Captain James. I hope you don't give into temptation like this with all the girls." 

He stopped his ministrations, his hand stilled on her breast.

Seriously he replied. 

"No Molly never. There's only you. They will only ever be you." 

His words thrilled her. Each day she fell in love with him more. He seemed to adore her. She never doubted him. Despite their age difference she always felt as though he treated her as an equal partner in the relationship, not as though he owned her. 

Eventually he did leave, ran out the door with a very definite spring in his step. Life was good. He finally felt as though Lady Luck was back on his side. He left with promises of hurrying back as soon as he could.

It was a Saturday a few weekends before Christmas and they had planned to go into London. Do some shopping and then eventually, he was finally going to meet her parents. It was a huge step for both of them. It had been a long time since Charles had met a girlfriend's parents. Rebecca's had been the last. Charles also knew it was a major deal for Molly. She was very anxious about it all, which is why when he told her he had to pop into work for an hour or so that morning she wasn't best pleased. He'd left her semi dozing in the bed, though content, with sweet kisses and promises he'd be home as soon as he could.

Hearing the front door slam. There was no other word for it.. he'd slammed it shut. His energy and happiness effected everything he did. She thought he looked like a bouncing Tigger when he finally started to get ready after their mornings activities. That and the look in his face when he had hit his climax earlier proved to Molly that this man loved her and taking him home to meet her parents was the right thing to do. Even though she was dreading it... a lot. She wasn't even pissed off anymore that he had to go into work for a bit, he'd put a lot of effort into easing her anger away earlier. It just meant she could have a little bit more of a kip, and then slowly she could get herself ready for the weekend. 

Their weekend, going into London, hand in hand for all the world to see. Then off the meet the Dawes clan. Molly had warned them in advance to be on their best behaviour. Her Mum only apologised and said that as far as the kids went of course they'd behave, but as for Dave?

This was the first proper boyfriend Molly had taken hone since Artan. Him and Charles were miles apart. They treated her differently, expected different things from her. Though Molly was the first to admit though that she was different now too. The young girl who had no pride in herself or belief was a thousand miles away from who she was now. Thanks to the Army, thanks to her hard work and thanks also to Charles.

Sleep wasn't happening so Molly made her way downstairs to watch some TV and raid Charles' cupboards. She had been spending more and more nights at Charles' and almost all of the weekends. It just made sense. She paid her fair share whenever she stayed over though. Always offering to split bills, but she had notice that Charles' cupboards were always filled with more of her treats and goodies than she had bought. He was spoiling her she knew it. Filling the up the cupboards with her favourites to make her happy and to make her feel at home. 

The first time he suggested that she leave some clothes and cosmetics over at his still made her heart jump at its memory. He'd even cleared out a draw for her, and cupboard space. It was cute. He now referred to the left side of his bed as hers. She had her own towels in the bathroom, he had his. Her own shampoo in the shower, candles for the bath. Their toothbrushes sat side by side next to one another in the cabinet. All reminders that they were a proper fully functioning couple now. Strange she thought how little things made her feel so part of his life. Growing up she never had her own room, own space, so her room in barracks meant the world to her. Her own place of refuge, but sharing, having a bit of her world in Charles' home also thrilled her. 

She felt comfortable in his home because of his efforts to make her so and therefore didn't dress straight way when she got up. Her hair still wild from their morning tumble, her face free from make-up and lips swollen from his powerful kisses. She slipped on one of Charles' jumpers, her favourite and some leggings. She'd planned to get ready later, make an effort for him coming home. 

Just then the doorbell went. Molly knew it would be to take in a package for next door. This time of year it happened a lot. She therefore had no worries about answering the knock. When she did though she really wished she hadn't. 

"Oh who are you? Is Charles in?" A cold female voice demanded.

There was Rebecca standing on Charles' doorstep. Molly had only seen her once but knew exactly who this was. Groomed, beautiful, perfect. Molly died a thousand deaths thinking about what she must looked like to Charles' ex-wife. Rebecca would be able to jump to only one conclusion, that Molly was obviously just up, and definitely post sex too. Even worse than the way Rebecca was looking at her was the fact she was holding onto to Sam's hand. A cute six year old boy. Charles' son looking up at her, confused. He'd probably never seen anyone looking so dishevelled in his life, and certainly not in his Daddy's hallway. 

"Who is she Mummy? He asked innocently pointing at Molly as though she was in an exhibition. 

"It's one of Daddy's friends I think, or maybe the cleaner. I don't know." Rebecca sneered at Molly as she addressed Sam. "Your father never used to have such odd tastes." She added, obviously for Molly's benefit. 

Still not satisfied with who Molly was Sam continued, looking straight at her.

"Who are you?" The comment about being Charles' cleaner stung Molly, and she was struggling to keep it together. The almost forgotten famous Molly Dawes' temper was in danger of reappearing very soon. 

"Hi I'm Molly. I guess you must be Sam. Your Daddy has told me so much about you." She bent down to shake his hand but he hid behind his mother's legs. Looking at Molly as though she was going to eat him. Molly stood up knowing this was not going well.

"I'm afraid Charles isn't in." She offered her hand to Rebecca. "As I said I'm Molly. A friend of Charles. You must be Rebecca."

Rebecca merely pushed past her, refusing the hand outstretched and walked into the hall way. 

"We'll wait. I'm off to town. Need to leave Sam with Charles for the night. It's the least he can do." She then turned to pick up Sam moving slowly around the house to inspect it. Critically taking everything in. Curious as to how her ex-husband had furnished his new home. She was relieved that there did not seem to be too much of this young girl's presence in his home. Feeling that maybe she might not be a permeant fixture in his life.

"I'll give Charles a call let him know you're here". Molly offered. This was so awkward. What did she do? Nothing in her life so far had taught what to do or how to cope in a situation as this! She grabbed her phone and dialled his number. It went straight to answer phone. 

"Bugger." She muttered under her breath. 

Rebecca returned and stood in the hall way. Loving the high moral ground she was taking. "Please." She said sharply, almost spitting the words in Molly's face. "Do not curse in front of my son."

"Sorry." Molly said. Immediately feeling like a child she was meant to feel like in Rebecca's put down. She felt and looked scruffy next to this perfect specimen. In fact the way Rebecca was looking at her that's exactly what she felt like, a specimen. 

"Do you fancy a cuppa. Bet Sam would like a nice juice or something." Molly offered. 

Wincing at Molly's harsh cockney tones she answered.

"No we are fine. We'll just wait in here should we?" Rebecca pointed to the sitting room. It was untidy. Very unlike Charles. The curtains were still drawn. Cushions all over the floor and the glasses and wine bottle from last night still on the coffee table. Last night they had a little celebration of their own, right there on the sitting room floor and carried it on upstairs into the bedroom. Tidying up after themselves was not even considered. Molly blushed at the memory of her and Charles' fun. 

"I'll just tidy this up a bit for you. Shall I?"

She rushed around the room while Rebecca just stood there holding Sam in her arms. Both watching her closely. Molly definitely did feel like the cleaner now. Hating at how inferior this woman was making her feel.

As the room gained some order Rebecca finally deemed it acceptable to come in and sit down. Molly turned on the TV and soon Sam was occupied with watching a film. He gave Molly a lovely grin as she selected an acceptable programme for him to watch. Rebecca sat next to him, stiff and judgemental. Molly perched on the edge of an armchair and attempted to stop playing with her hair to make it less wild, and wiping her fingers under her eyes in an attempt to remove the dried in makeup that was there. There was nothing she could do she felt that would make this any better. 

The question that had been eating Rebecca up finally came out.

"So you live with him do you?"

The question caught Molly off guard. 

"Oh God no. I just spent the night." She cringed at her answer. It made her sound cheap. Temporary.

"Your her aren't you? The girl from the hospital? Ditto girl." Rebecca locked eyes with Molly. 

"Yes." Molly answered unable to break Rebecca's stare. Knowing they had done nothing wrong, but feeling as though she had. 

"Thought so. He was your CO wasn't he? Bit cliché isn't it? An older man, position of power. Preys on sweet naive little girl."

"He didn't prey on me. I'm not naïve…. and I'm not…. a little girl". Molly shot back, a bit too quickly. Rebecca raised her eyes and lips in to a smirk, she could see she was getting to Molly. Molly felt that if Rebecca kept this up she would also show her wasn't sweet either! 

"I bought him that jumper you know." Rebecca pointed to the jumper Molly was wearing. It smelt of Charles, who Molly was desperately missing. Praying he'd come home soon. Then she continued delivering her intended message. 

"You know you won't change him. You're just the someone for now. But it will always be Army for him. He'll leave you eventually. Just like he left me. Just like he left Sam." 

Hearing these words from Rebecca made Molly turn to ice. She couldn't reply, anything she wanted to say was unpleasant and Sam did not deserve that, nor did Charles when he had to deal with the aftermath of the women in his life having a cat fight. 

Charles' Lady Luck then saved her. She heard his keys in the door. He shouted as he came through. 

"You best be out of our bleeding bed Dawes. Get up you lazy git. I'm home and the days awaiting."

Just then he rounded the corner and saw his Molly looking uncomfortable opposite Sam and Rebecca. 

"What the fuck." He said. Never expecting this sight to be waiting for him. 

Molly used Charles' return as her chance to leave. She ran up the stairs fast as her little legs could take her. Throwing the once favourite jumper of his on the floor and childishly stamping on it. She was not going back downstairs while that woman was still there. Jumping in the shower she broke down and cried. Mainly out of frustration but also because of some of the unkind things Rebecca had said. Molly had never know so much restraint before. Years ago she would have slapped Rebecca for what she said. Whereas in Charles' house, in front of his son, she had just had to let Rebecca insult her.

She stayed in the shower a long time. Even though she had her head under the water she could still hear them shouting at each other downstairs. Molly felt awful that Sam had to hear it all. If she'd known him a bit better, if she had been braver she would have gone down and rescued him from them. But she knew that wasn't her place, not yet anyway. Eventually she left the sanctuary of the shower and started to get ready. Still hearing the raised voices, then the bang of Charles' front door. 

Twenty minutes or so later, Molly now full dressed and packing her overnight bag , Charles came into the room. He walked straight over to her and held her. He was shaking. 

"You ok? God Molly I'm sorry about that. Can't imagine that was fun for you." 

"It's ok. I'm fine. How was Sam?" She knew he would be upset by everything. 

"A mess he's really upset. He's watching a video. I can't be up here too long."

"He's here still? Has she gone then?" 

"Yes thank God. But Sam's going to be staying with me tonight. She gone off to meet some friends. Expects me to have Sam overnight."

"Oh I see." She knew then if Charles had Sam all their plans for going to London and them seeing her parents were over. 

"I'm sorry Molly. He's my son. What can I do? She's given me no choice. Beside I can't say 'no' in front of Sam. It would break his heart. I've hurt him enough."

"That's fine. I'll just go without you. Explain and that to Mum." She was trying to be mature about this when really she wanted to beat her hands on his chest and throw a temper tantrum like a child. It took a lot of effort for her to hold it together. That apparently is what adults do in adult relationship, hold it together. She'd read that somewhere. 

"Shit Molly. I'm so sorry. I just have to put Sam first. Christ I hate that woman sometimes." 

"It's ok it's not your fault. She didn't know your plans did she?" 

"No but she still expects me to be at her beck and call though doesn't she! Says she needed some 'me' time."

Molly snorted loudly, although she seriously disliked the woman, she could see her point. "Charles you see Sam when you want to. On your terms. For once she felt like being the selfish one and put herself first. She's only getting her own back."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth she realised she had said the wrong thing. That she had hurt him, that's not what she had intended to do. 

"Right." He raised his eyes and nodded his head. Backing away from her, believing that her assessment of him was as a selfish git. "That's what you think? Ok." And with that he spun round and marched out the door, hands tucked into his trouser pockets. 

Half an hour later Molly timidly made her way downstairs, she thought it best to give them all some time to settle down, she found Charles and Sam playing card games. Thankfully Sam was laughing now and seemed happy in his father's company. As soon as she entered the room though he stopped and looked at her. 

"Daddy why do you have a cleaner?" 

Charles looked confused and then realised that Sam meant Molly. After all the stress of the morning Charles could not help but laugh, throwing his head back in that characteristic way and laughing loudly. This made Molly mad. He was unknowingly joining in with Rebecca's rude comment about her. Tears flooded her eyes. 

Eventually Charles stopped laughing and said, standing to steer Molly towards them, hands on her shoulders. She had been routed to the spot when she heard him laugh at her, and nothing but his gentle physical force was going to get her to move closer to Sam . 

"No Sam this is Molly. My friend. Do you remember the funny soldier form the hospital? This is her."

Sam looked Molly up and down in a away only kids can do. The way kids appraise you instantly and form an opinion about you, rightly or wrongly, and then he said.

"Is she having tea with us? Because we'll have to order extra pizza if she is." 

And that was it; in Sam James' world this friend of Daddy's was not important, or anyone he needed to be concerned about as long as he always had his Daddy's time and enough pizza to eat. 

"Hi Sam. It nice to meet you." Molly eventually found her voice. "I wish I could stay for tea mate, but I have to go and see my Mummy. I'm having tea at hers." 

Sam looked at her and considered what Molly had just said. "We're having pizza Daddy said. My mummy has gone out to play with her new friend" He then turned and looked at Charles, while stuffing one of Molly's special chocolate bars into his mouth, the one Charles bought for her especially. Molly felt a bit miffed in seeing that he'd given one of her bars away. "She's got one too Daddy. His names Tim. He's nice. Maybe Molly and Tim could play with you and Mummy one day?"

Moly turned to look at Charles. His face was puce. She didn't know if it was through anger at Rebecca dumping Sam on him so she could go and have 'me' time with Tim, or in an attempt to hold in his laughter at what Sam said. She turned back to Sam. 

"Well maybe mate we could arrange a weekend where it's just you, me, and your Daddy. We could go to the park or something. Have a fun day, then have pizza for tea? 

"Yes. We could, but we'd have to make sure we don't have too much fun. Daddy's leg still hurts and we have to look after him. Mummy says he past having fun anymore."

"I think I can manage to have a little fun with you and Molly Scamp." Charles said coming over to where Sam and Molly were now sat. He places his arms on her shoulders and massaged them. She was too angry with him and sad still. He'd spoilt their plans, and then laughed at Rebecca's insult. He had hurt her. She shook off his hands and got up to leave. 

"I've got to go." She mumbled and raced to the front door before the tears started to spill. Charles caught up with her in three strides. 

"I've fucked up again haven't I? Shit all I want is to keep you happy and you're not." He swept his hand through her still damp hair. Her shampoo scent filling the space between them. 

"It ok it just I'm disappointed that's all..". 

"But what? I know there's a 'but' in there Molly."

"Nothing. It's silly. It's just that's what Rebecca called me. She told Sam I was your cleaner. Well that and some other awful stuff." 

"She did what? Oh God and I laughed when Sam repeated it. Oh hell Molly. I'm sorry. Sorry you were here alone when she came. Sorry about messing our day up, and sorry I laughed." 

"That's ok. I'm being silly I guess." 

"No you're not. You're being great." He pulled her into him. "Besides." He chuckled. "Anyone who knows you, knows you're crap at cleaning!" He had to hold onto her very tight then as she tried to pull away to hit him, failing she forgave him and they both erupted with laughter. 

She said her 'goodbyes' and they left reasonably friendly to one another. But as she walked to the bus stop, then while sitting on the train her mood started to change. He was meant to be driving her to her parents. A little Christmas road trip. She could little afford a train journey at this time of year. With socialising on Charles' level and all the Christmas expense, she was fairly skint. So the fact he wasn't driving her was souring her mood even more. 

Her mood wasn't helped as by the time she had reached home, being pressed into very over crowded trains and tubes, only to find her family home in chaos. They kids were screaming. Her mother was throwing stuff around shouting at her Dad, who was seven sheets to the wind. No one even said 'hello' to Molly as she entered. It was only then that she was so pleased she hadn't brought Charles to meet them! 

Eventually the noise stopped and she got five minutes with her Mum in the kitchen.

"So he's just not coming then Molls? Have you fallen out or something?" 

"No it's nothing like that it's just he had to look after his kid and that."

"He's got a kid you say, and divorced. Are you sure Molls about him? It seems this older man... well he's a lot to take on... kids and that."

"He's not an old man. He only eight years older than me and he doesn't have kids. He's got one. And he's lovely." Molly stretched the truth on this as she had only spoken to Sam for about five minutes, but Charles loved him, so she guessed Sam must be lovely and she'd have to like him, lovely or not! 

"Oh. But he just let you down, just like that still though didn't he? Are you sure he can be trusted and that? I just don't want to see you hurt Molls." 

The conversation came to an end when Dave joined it slurring out spiteful words that Charles probably did it on purpose cause all the Dawes women did 'men's heads in'. This caused Belinda to start screaming again and the fight they were previously having re ignited. 

Molly quietly made her way to her room. She lay on her bed mulling over her feelings. She had to defend Charles. It really wasn't his fault. Everything had been going good until Rebecca showed up. Her words that Charles would leave Molly however scared her. Her Mum was right though she was getting involved with a divorced man, who had a kid. Wherever Charles went he would always have Sam. Whatever happened to them, whatever future they had, there would always be Sam. She had nothing against him, but did she want that? She was just 21. Maybe too young for Charles? Yet she loved him, she knew that, he just he came with a lot of baggage.

Her parents didn't stop arguing all evening so Molly went to the pub with her sister Bella. They drank far too much, reminisce and hence when Molly did arrive home the next evening and Charles met her at the station she still had one very bad hangover. 

He rushed over to her as soon she stepped through the ticket barriers. He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her off her feet. 

"God I've missed you. Hello you." Kissing he soundly. "I am so sorry about this weekend. Shall I send your Mum some flowers to apologise?" He was nervous, worried about her mood towards him, he was talking too much.

"Hello you." She answered back hoping he'd put her down. She felt bloody awful. "Nah waste of time. She wouldn't appreciate them." 

He carried her bag. She didn't complain and saw her into the passenger side of the car. 

"You look a bit rough you feeling ok?" Noticing her pale face. 

"Feel like death." She answered snugging down into her heated seat he'd thoughtfully put on for her. See this is why she loved him, he did things like that for her. Letting her down yesterday was a shitty thing to do, but he always made up for it by doing things like this. 

"Heavy night?" He watched her nod her head, eyes though closed she still swigged at her water bottle. "So mine?" He asked hopefully. 

"Errrr. No mine. Just want my bed and to wake up tomorrow better."

She dint see the look of disappointment on his face as it was obvious he wasn't invited to hers. "So you had a good time then? He tried to sound normal and make conversation. But he felt as though something was off.

"Yeah great actually. Missed them. A lot. Made me realise just how much." She had seen very little of them in the past months. Charles had taken up a lot of her spare time. 

"Bet you do. Maybe during our Christmas leave we could pop across to see them, try again like, in me meeting them?" He offered.

She sat up instantly and looked at him in the dim light. "About that. I was thinking. I might just gonna want to spend Christmas with my family." 

"What? We can't I have Sam we have to go to my parents. It all arranged. I can't let Sam down." He turned to look at her. Confused. Christmas has been planned for months at his parent's house. Really, in his mind, ever since that day in Afghan when she came into his cabin and hid in the wardrobe. That's when he first invited her. He'd always wanted her there. It was his dream. It's what he expected to happen. She'd agreed, now she was changing her mind. 

"Yeah I know you can't. I just kind of meant me. I've missed them. Didn't really see much of me Mum this weekend. Never saw me Nan. I'm spending Christmas with them." There she had said it. Decision made. He had Sam to worry about. He was Charles' priority. Her seeing her family was hers.

She felt childish, and selfish, but it was what she wanted to do. She knew by the look on Charles' face he was holding back his emotions, his thoughts. His head was hung low, he avoided eye contact and his lips were constantly being chewed. When he dropped her off that night he just pecked her on the cheek, with promises of calling her tomorrow. She'd hurt him. Hadn't meant to, just Molly felt that a little bit of her was being consumed by this relationship. She was feeling a bit lost and wanted to invest in a little bit of finding Molly Dawes again. Shit, she thought as she watched his brake lights disappearing down the road, whatever she had expected when she started to fall in love with Charles all those months ago on tour, she never expected their relationship to be so hard at times. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 6**

The next couple of weeks in the lead up to Christmas were painful for them both. Several times Charles tried to delicately persuade Molly to change her mind. But she didn't. She was stubborn and also because she really didn't want to. It was only a few days apart, it wasn't unreasonable, she was going to join him and Sam back at his parent's house the day after Boxing Day. She felt that they could cope apart for that long. She wanted to see her family, see her Nan.

Charles had thought that the past couple of weeks were sheer hell. He tried to see Molly's point of view. Appreciated that she wasn't home last Christmas and therefore wanted to be with her family, just like he wanted to be home with his. But he also felt so disappointed because she was choosing them, her family, over him, and a chance to getting to know Sam. It struck him as a new experience. Charles realised that for his entire adult life those he loved did exactly what he wanted, put up with his timetable, his expectations, be it at work or in his personal life, and here was a woman who just didn't. She wasn't doing it to be spiteful, or to gain points. She was doing it because that was who she was, the woman he loved, independent and fiercely loyal. 

Work had kept him busy so he didn't sulk too much about her decision, but there were times when he did. It wasn't something he was proud of. It surprised him how he behaved. A bit like how he had acted back in the FOB when he thought Molly had been with Smurf, grumpy and not too communicative. Just like the last time, Molly put up with him, but even he could see that her patience was wearing thin.

It was the poor lads of two section got his bad mood with both barrels the most, as did Rebecca during her last badly timed phone call. She had informed him of her new boyfriend and that he was taking her away for Christmas. So Charles would just have to have Sam for almost all of Christmas week. It wasn't up for discussion. Not that it was a problem to Charles, he was thrilled to have Sam longer. It was her practised way in which she then criticised Charles for the way he was now living his life and then foolishly she poured out all her not too pleasant thoughts on his and Molly's relationship! He was harsh to her and quite brutal with some of his observations about her, and her life style choices. Molly heard the entire conversation, hoping that this time ex-wife and ex-husband were battling, that Sam could not hear. She had to admit though although shocked by how Charles was behaving on the phone she was touched Charles was defending her. She learnt though a valuable lesson that day, Charles James outside of work, outside of the uniform could have an awful temper when pushed. So far they hadn't really argued so to see this side of him away from his role as a Captain was a little warning to her. 

"I'm going to miss you." He said for the thousandth time, nuzzling his face into the top of her head. Molly prayed her train would hurry up and arrive. This waiting was becoming painful. She didn't know how strong either of them could remain if they had to wait any longer.

It was the day before Christmas Eve and they were saying goodbye to each other at the station. Charles had insisted he drive her. She knew he would but secretly had hoped they could just have said goodbye at his home. More private, not so drawn out.

"I'll see you the day after tomorrow you pranet." She reassured him. But it wasn't working, not for him and not for her. They were going to miss one another. When she looked up at him he looked like he had been mortally wounded. His brown eyes all sorrowful and pleading with her. 

"Yes I know but we won't get to spend Christmas Day together."

"Charles please. I've told you why I'm going to see my family. I just want to." She shook herself out of his hold, feeling a bit suffocated, acting as though she wanted to study the timetable board one more time.

"Ok I know." He pulled himself together. "You're right. There's always next year." He smiled at her, a big wide smile that showed off his perfect teeth. But he wasn't fooling her, the smile didn't reach his eyes. She been out of his hold for merely moments and he felt it, so now he reached out and pulled her back into his arms. Engulfing her once again. 

"You have a bloody brilliant time, and Sam and I will look forward to picking you up from the station in two days." He soothed into her ear.

"Thank you. I bet it's bleeding chaos when I get there. Mum always panics. Dad's no help and Nan just winds him up. Think I'll be playing peace keeper for the next two days." She laughed at the thought of her mad family, who behaved the same every year, in the same way, whether she was there or not.

"Remember your present is in your bag." He pointed to one of the many pieces of luggage she had with her. "You'll get the other when I see you again. Call me? Anytime. Please. But especially tomorrow. I want to wish you Happy Christmas." 

"Of course I will." Then she added just to make doubly sure he knew. "You do know I'll miss you too?" 

"I know, and thank you." He kissed her noisily on the lips, rubbing his cold nose to hers. "It's going to be a bit bloody different from our Christmas last year isn't it? In the FOB?"

She went to answer him but a station announcement interrupted her, informing them her train was slightly delayed. 

"Look you go. You've got to pack the car up and then drive to pick up Sam before you get to your parent's tonight. You've a long day." 

"You sure?" He wanted every minute with her he could have, but he knew time was precious for him today. "I will….. if you're ok with that?" 

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? Now go." 

"I love you." He said as he pulled her in for a slow deep kiss. Taking all about her in, savouring the feeling of her in his arms. Banking the memory so he had something to draw upon in her absence. 

The kiss, like all his kisses seemed romantic and perfect. She sighed eventually fluttering her eyes open as he gently pulled away. 

"I love you too. Merry Christmas Charles." 

"Merry Christmas Molly." And then he was gone. Waving as he left walking backwards to keep her in his sight for as long as possible as he exited the station. Molly waved constantly. But soon he was out of sight and she felt very alone. 

She made her way to the station cafe. The warmth of the place made her feel cosy, the way she felt in Charles' arms on cold winter mornings when they snuggled in bed together. The smell of the coffee beans in the atmosphere reminded her of Charles, of the time he knelt down in front of her, showing her he cared, held her hand, and wrote Rosabaya on her arm. Molly smiled at the memory. 

She order a tea and sat and watched the world. Train stations were windows where you can see all walks of life, hundreds of different emotions were played out on the platforms each hour of every day. Sitting there she watched sadness, loneliness, anticipation, joy, happiness and love. Friends, families, lovers, all experiencing these emotions. Some saying hello, some saying goodbye. It was the separation that Molly found hard to watch. 

Molly realised just how lucky she was to have Charles. When she first started to fall for him. When he was still her Captain, she never imagined her feelings would be reciprocated, but they were. And then she nearly lost him. On that bridge she thought her life would end if his did. She could see no future to her life if he wasn't in it. Shuddering at the thought of a life with no Charles in it. She sat upright in her comfy chair, not once since their first date had she seen a future, any future without Charles. Whatever her dreams were they always included him. Whatever problems she had to face she always believed she would face them with him. It was a comforting thought. A permanent thought.

Packing up her rubbish and leaving the cafe in a hurry, running across the platform and out into the taxi rank, she scolded herself:  
What the bloody hell was she doing waiting on a train that was going to take her in the total opposite direction of where her future most definitely lay? 

The taxi couldn't go fast enough for her. She texted her Mum and explained her change of plan. Eventually though it arrived at Charles'. As the taxi drew up outside the house she could see he was struggling and cursing in attempting to get Sam's bike, off Father Christmas, into the car as well as the hundreds of other presents he'd bought. It made her smile, this calm controlled Captain was being defeated logistically in his role of Father Christmas.

Charles looked up at the taxi briefly, then double took when he saw Molly climb out and pay the driver. He noticed her bags, and instantly was cautiously hopeful. 

"Molly. You ok? What's up?" He walked over to her full of concern, his car packing task instantly abandoned. 

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I just... well... I missed you." She didn't feel foolish saying it, just happy. She wove her arms around his neck, pulled herself up onto her tiptoes and kissed him. 

He pulled back cocking his head, almost squinting at her. Pleased with what she had said, but still curious. "Lovely though that is Molly. Aren't you going to miss your train?" 

"Yes, and I don't bleeding care. Is it ok... do you mind... can I come with you instead? Spend all of Christmas with you and Sam?" Suddenly though she felt shy in asking. Wondering if maybe he had changed his mind, altered his plans because of her stubbornness. 

Charles chuckled at her worried face. He had hoped right up until the last minute that she would change her mind. He even had hoped when he was standing on the station platform that she would give up her plans and come with him. When that didn't happen he resigned himself to spending Christmas without Molly, a sad lonely feeling. He picked her up in his arms and swung her around making her giggle with delight. "Oh Christ Molly yes. It will be fantastic. Of course you can bloody come with me. Thank you."

He then placed her on the floor and looked back towards the car and towards Molly throwing his arms around her shoulders walking her to the front door. 

"There's only one problem though Molly." He stood away from her looking in the direction of the car. Hands running through his curly locks, a sure sign he was thinking. 

"What's that?" She asked, but not worried. He'd been delighted in her change of mind, whatever this problem it was one they would sort it.

"I have no bloody idea where I'm going to fit you in amongst all these presents."

The car journey to pick up Sam was fun. They sang Christmas songs and laughed and talked. Molly called her Mum to explain and was a bit upset that her Mum wasn't more disappointed by her not turning up. She did promise though that they would pop over to see them all soon.

"Why don't we plan to see a pantomime with them all after Christmas... take Sam too?" Charles suggested. "My treat." 

"What all of us? Are you mad? It will cost you a bleeding fortune too." She turned to look at him as he drove. "You don't know what you're suggesting. My lot are a bit crazy." 

"Yes I do. You, me Sam with your family all go into London to see a pantomime. It's what's Christmas is all about." He answered back to her.

"Do you reckon we'll still get tickets? They'll be expensive. I'll go halves." She was starting to get excited. She had never gone to a proper pantomime before and knew her brothers and sister would love such a special treat.

"You bloody won't go halves. This is my thank you to you for coming back to me, for each and every time you have." He turned his head to look at her. Hours ago he had been faced with the prospect of not seeing her for a few days, and now she was here with him. Together for Christmas. "Let's see what Sam says about it shall we?" And he closed the discussion.

Molly jiggled around in her seat excited at the thought of a trip into London, and seeing her family too. As the car stopped in traffic she leaned across to Charles, her legs bouncing up and down with happy energy. He turned and grinned at her child like behaviour. There was still such a beautiful innocence to his Molly Dawes.

"Have I told you I love you Captain James? Cause I do. So very much."

He ran his hand down the side of her face, holding on.  
"I think you might have mentioned it before, but I don't mind you saying it again, as often as you like." He pulled her towards him and kissed her briefly before his concentration needed to get back to driving.

If Molly had been excited, it was nothing compared to how excited Sam was when they picked him up. He launched himself into his Daddy's arms, demanding a hug and a tickle. He even managed a shy hello to Molly, all the while Rebecca stood at the front door of her beautiful house, looking at them. She made no effort to greet her or even Charles. Molly looked at the house, beautiful though it was, it looked cold. She imagined Charles and Rebecca living here together, and she realised that it must have actually taken a lot of courage for Charles to leave his son and this home. It made her sad to think that he suffered still over his decision, and she knew times like this with Sam were very precious to him. She was happy that he wanted to share these times with her, and she intended to make them fun times for all involved. With as little interaction that they could manage they soon left, and set off on the final leg of the journey to Charles' parents.

"Daddy?" Sam squirmed in the back seat to look over at the boot space packed with bags and presents. His bike had eventually been skilfully hidden underneath them all and a blanket. "Is Molly spending Christmas with us then?" He asked straining his neck for a better look at the boot's booty.

"Yes, that's right Scamp. That's ok isn't it?" Charles asked reaching his arm behind him to playfully tickle Sam's knee, getting a squeal in response. Praying his little man didn't mind. He wanted to see so much more of Sam now he had his own home, and wanted Molly to be part of it all.

"I suppose so." He said pulling out the juice carton Molly had bought at the service station for him. She knew how to keep kids happy. "Does Gran know?" he asked after taking a huge slurp then giggling through a burp as the juice hit his excited stomach.

"Samuel James. That's rude, say pardon, and yes of course Gran knows. Why?" Charles looked at Molly who was biting her lip trying to act grown up, and not to laugh along with Sam at his burp. They had called his mother a few hours ago and Molly was amazed at how delighted she actually sounded in Molly's change of plans.

"Soorrrrryyyyy." Sam sung out, not sounding too apologetic about it though. " I'm glad… it's just….. cause if she didn't we might have not got enough food, that's all. She may run out of her chocolate cookies. They might not be any left for me."

"Ahh thank you Sam." Said Molly, giggling with Charles, who was rolling his eyes in good humour. "Don't worry though I don't eat much. I tell you what I'll give you all my cookies, shall I? Then you will definitely have plenty to eat."

Sam's eyes widened in surprise. He'd never know anyone who willing gave up their share of Gran's cookies before. Molly must be nice, like his Daddy told him she was. "Would you? Thanks. Great." He smiled at her and she turned to look at him scrunching her nose up and smiled back. For a few moments he was quiet, then he burst out. " Oh no Molly, will Father Christmas know."

"Don't worry mate, I've already had a word with him. Had to. Don't want him to miss me out now do I?"

Sam was happy with her answer and that the threat to his cookie stash was over. He was even happier when Molly put on some more Christmas songs on to sing along to. His Daddy liked singing, always used to sign to him when he was little and he lived at home. It was one of the things Sam missed about not living with his Daddy anymore, the fact no one ever sang with him. Both Charles and Sam joined in enthusiastically with the songs. Often making up their own words to the classics and laughing at how funny they were. Sam and Charles were a lovely little team together at times. Watching father and son singing Molly marvelled in how right she felt in their company. Sam seemed to like her, at least for now, she knew they had a long way to go, but they seemed comfortable with each other, which was a start. Having so many little brothers and sisters Molly knew the way to their hearts, it was generally time and listening to them, but with Sam it was also through his stomach. Therefore Molly was pleased with herself as she won him over a little bit more when she produced a pack of sandwiches to go along with his drink.

Molly had only been to Charles' parents' house twice before. The first time she was nervous, it was their first date, but the house still blew her away. The second time she saw it, she was excited, she'd come back to Charles, and his parent's kindness that blew her away when she was ill. This time though when they arrived and she stepped into the hallway she was happy, but it was the way it was transformed into some type of magical Christmas wonderland that blew her away.

Sam went running off into the kitchen to find his Grandparents, and probably some cookies, leaving Charles and Molly alone. She stood there mesmerised, the look of wonder frozen on her beautiful face. Charles stood behind her and allowed her body to rest into his.

"What do you think?" He was anxious as he dreamt of this moment in so many of his lonely dark times after the shooting. To him this was their moment, one that he wanted to look back on for the rest of his life.

She sunk back into his chest, grateful for his comfort, the back of her head rested just below his chin. She didn't turn to look at him. She didn't need to, him holding her, her moulding into him was perfect.

"It's perfect. You said it was magical. I might make you right."

They both just stood there looking around at the decorations, and garlands twinkling in the remains of the December sun. Taking it in and making their new memories. It was calm, beautiful and everything it could be…right up to the point where Sam ran in pushing past then, running up the stairs two at a time yelling he was bursting for the loo. Their magical moment broken as Charles sprinted away from Molly and chased him up the stairs to rescue the situation, leaving Molly almost in tears of laughter at this mini hurricane version of Charles that was starting to become a bit of a favourite in her world.

The madness continued. Sam full of food, excitement for Father Christmas and the energy of a six year old fought to the bitter end before eventually succumbing to sleep. It was late when Charles finally made it up to his bedroom, once having done his duty re; stockings and bring Father Christmas' presents in from his car. When he opened the door though his heart almost stop at the sight of Molly sat up in his bed. She wasn't even wearing anything remotely sexy. Just the good old M and S pyjamas he made her buy before her last tour to keep her warm at night. He had at least told her that was the reason why she needed them. Secretly it was because the thought of anyone else seeing her in her West Ham top that she slept in made him ridiculously jealous. That was special to him and his memories of their time on tour.

She was sat on his bed with the lamp on, surrounded by books and notes. Her hair pulled into a very messy ponytail. Her face was bare of makeup, she was fresh faced and ready to sleep. Yet to him she had never look more beautiful. Totally unspoilt. In his bed, with him for Christmas, looking up at him from her notes and smiling warmly at him as she noticed him looking at her. 

"You ok?" She questioned. 

He moved onto the bed and lay down next to her on his side propping his head up on his bent arm. 

"Of course I am. Just happy you're here." 

"Good". She pecked him on the lips and started to rifle through all the pages of paper on her lap. "Sam eventually asleep then? She asked half-heartedly, chewing the end of the pen, everything she had read so far was making her feel anxious. 

"Yes. Thank God. He's going to be tired though tomorrow, and grumpy." Then picking up one of the pages, he tapped it and asked. "So you're going for it then are you?" Raising his eyes in a question, but she knew he was making more of a statement than really asking her the question.

"Yes. Think I am. Shitting me self though. What if I'm not good enough?" Before she broke for her Christmas leave her CO recommended her for Lance Corporal promotion. Here she was now sitting amongst all the literature and application form. She was please she had been put forward but knew it was going to mean hard work both academically and physically for her to pass the exams and gain the promotion. 

"You bloody will be and you bloody are." He reached over to stroke his hand down her face. "You'll be brilliant. You are brilliant."

She gathered all her files together and placed them on the floor by the bed, then scuttled down to lie on the bed facing him. Mirroring him, propping her head up with a bent arm. Their faces very close, their hot breaths warming each other's cheeks 

"Thank you. It's nice that you believe in me." 

"Of course I do. I bloody love you and I know, cause I've seen you at work, just how fucking awesome you are. A little bit reckless but still fucking awesome." He sighed at the memories his words brought into his mind. 

"I'm not so reckless anymore. I promise. Well maybe just reckless enough." She teased and instantly regretted as she saw the worry in his eyes. 

"Just not reckless at all would be good if you don't mind. You know it will be hard work Molly but it will be worth it." He offered back to her. 

"Do you ever mind?" She asked looking directly into his confused eyes at the question. 

"Mind what?" 

"Me and that. Just being a private? You all qualified and a Captain. Do you mind I'm thick?" 

"You Molly Dawes are not bloody thick." He scoffed. "You'd get one over on me any day. And of course I bloody don't mind you being a private. It never crosses my mind, now I'm not your CO. Our ranks are our jobs, not us." He hated that someone somewhere had broken Molly and her self-esteem.

"What about next week at the ball? Meeting all your friends. Will they wonder what you're doing with a squaddie?" For New Year's Eve they were off to his camp ball; a very public first outing together and if Molly was honest she was more than a little nervous about it. 

"No. And you're not 'just anything'. You're Molly Dawes. The best thing that's ever happened to me, apart from Sam. Doubt any of my mates will think of you as just a squaddie. If they do then I don't want them to be my friend. You know I don't think like that don't you?" He suddenly felt worried that it was him that was making her feel insecure. 

"Yeah I know but you've achieved so much. I haven't even got GCSE really." 

"Then that makes you even more incredible." He said. "My life has been pretty easy compared to yours really. So it's no wonder I got exams and had chances you didn't have. You're clever. Army clever and that's what matters. It's what you do from here that counts. I could never do what you do. Your job… you make differences every day. Me I just shout a lot." 

"You're right there about the shouting." She laughed. "Thank you though." She smiled into his chest lazily tracing her hand downwards towards his waist band, and gently snapping away at its elastic. She could feel his body starting to respond to her hand's proximity. "It's the exams I'm worried about though really. Used to hate them at school. Failed every one really."

"Well don't be Molly. I'll help where I can, but it's nothing you can't do. You're bloody clever Molly just need to believe in yourself." She rolled her body closer to him her face now resting on his chest as he lay on his back. "However your finesses is another thing Dawes. If I remember it's awful."

"Yeah. I know." Then taking in exactly what he said she answered. "Hey it's not that bad." She playfully slapped him on the chest. Pretending to be hurt by his comments. Truth was she was fit but not really Army fit, not fit enough for this promotion. Since her last tour and with her love affair developing with Charles she had let her fitness slip slightly.

"Well maybe not that bad. But from here on in see me as your personal trainer Dawes. My job is to get you as fit as possible. It's my own personal mission to you."

She raised her head to look at the smirk on his face. 

"Is that right? And what type of work outs are you planning Captain James?" 

"Oh only the best for you Dawes. It will involve early mornings and late nights too. I want to you to be the most keen and eager soldier I've ever worked with. Can you promise me your undivided attention? 100% commitment?"

She giggled. "I know what you've got on your mind Charles and I don't think that type of work out is Army approved."

"I think you'll find it bloody is." He laughed. He raised himself up and pulled his t shirt off over his head, then turned back to her and said. "Now come here, take those silly pyjamas off and let me start on your first workout…. Charles James style."

She succumbed to his undressing her. Smiling away at his serious but very sexy face beaming down on her. 

"Yes Sir." Was all she replied as he wiggled her out of the pyjama bottoms. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 7**

"Wow." He stood at the door way of his bedroom transfixed. The two glasses of pink fizz for them forgotten in his hands. "You look amazing." 

She turned from where she was sitting on the bed, saw him frozen and walked over to him grabbing her drink. Smiling at the compliment from the man she loved.#

"Hell Molly. Scrub that… you look fantastic." He started to move uncomfortably in his suit, the effects of what he was seeing causing his body to respond. She giggled as she watched him repeatedly swallow, his eyes watching her every move, his face overcome with pure desire. 

She felt like a goddess under his gaze. She was getting ready for the New Year's Eve Ball. He'd interrupted her preparations. She was now stood dangerously in front of him wearing only her new black underwear. It had cost her a small fortune but watching Charles response to it had been worth it. Worth every penny.

"You look rather handsome too." She said as she turned back to getting herself ready. He had stood there ready in a beautifully fitted black tuxedo. Tonight was a formal camp ball, no uniforms allowed. She'd never seen him looking quite so suave, handsome yes, but Charles in a tux, smelling like heaven was a whole new ball game. 

As she sat down and continued to mess with her hair she noticed he still hadn't advanced into the room any further. He stood at the door watching her.

"This time last year." He offered. Shaking his head in remembrance.

"This time last year I didn't know if I was madly in love with you or just had a major crush on my old, but very, hot CO." She teased.

"Hey less of the old if you don't mind." He smirked taking a sip from his glass. Then asking. "And now?"

"Oh now Captain James." She said staring at his reflection from the large bedroom mirror. "Now I definitely know, I'm madly in love with you."

"That's good to hear." He shook his head in laughter. "Cause I'm pretty sure I'm madly in love with you too."

"I should bleeding hope so mate." She winked at him and started to concentrate more on her hair. She had expected him to leave her to it, to get ready on her own as he usually did. He said he like the surprise of the finished article when she did emerge from the bedroom. She really guessed it was so she didn't bombard his nose with all her sprays and perfume. Tonight though he just stood there watching her.

"What's wrong?" She asked, finally succeeding in getting her hair as she wanted it. 

"Nothing. I just can't take my eyes off you. When did I come so fucking lucky?" 

She turned, free from distractions and raised the glass of fizz to her lips and took a long drink, teasing him with a loaded look over the glass rim. She watched as he licked his lips, as his eyes took in her body, her face and smile. Molly appreciated that look and felt the atmosphere between them change, like electricity being switched on. 

She jumped up from the bed, startling him as he was just about to move towards her. He instantly felt disappointed when he reached her and she pushed him away from her.

"Oh no you don't mister. I know what you're wanting. No! I've got to get ready." She laughed at him, her breath sweet from the pink fizz.

He took a step back and laughed. Knowing he wasn't going to win this one. It amazed him at how primeval he felt around her at times. A little bit ashamed of himself that there were times where he came across a little bit too caveman like in their love making. Not that he thankfully had ever heard Molly complain. 

"Right. Yip. Ok then". Biting down on his lip. He knew he had to escape from her intoxicating draw, if they were ever going to make it on time. He looked at her one last time and left. Dazzling her with a loving smile, the one that made her smile right back at him with the same degree of intensity and feeling.

He sighed, happy and content as he stood in the kitchen drinking. He was still a bit nervous though and he couldn't quite understand why. They had spent an amazing Christmas together. Everything he had ever wanted. Molly and Sam genuinely seem to have bonded. They were allies in getting their own way out of Charles, both charming him. He often felt happily, over the past few days that he was ganged up upon by the two people he most dearly loved, but who knew how to play on his heart strings for their own gain. Not that he minded, not once, he'd take that shameful manipulation from them over the loveless void he had when Rebecca was in the picture. 

Their time over Christmas had gone quickly a sure sign that they were all enjoying themselves. Molly as promised let Sam have her chocolate cookies, and Sam therefore considered her as a someone he could be friends with. Charles enjoyed watching their blossoming friendship grow. Happy they were both trying, knowing that whether they knew it or not they were doing it for him, for the love they had for him.

Meeting up with all of Molly's family, except her dad, had been everything Molly promised it would be. He paid and invited them to join him, Sam and Molly to see a pantomime in London. They accepted without hesitation. Her family, as Molly had said, were mad, but only in the very best of ways and Charles started to understand where Moly developed her lust for life from. He had actually really enjoyed her Mum and Nan's company. Their personalities and humour very similar to Molly's, even Sam had a great time. It had made Charles so happy that they all had got on, but even happier when he saw the smile on Molly's face at the success of it all. Confident that there were fewer and fewer obstacles in their way.

He therefore couldn't work out why he was so nervous. All he could attribute it to was that tonight was another big step for them, very publically announcing to the world that they were very much a couple. Announcing it not only to colleagues, but also to comrades and friends. There were going to be friends there who had known him when he was with Rebecca, some become close friends of them as a couple. Since the divorce he also knew that sides had to be chosen, and he was unsure whose sides these old friends would be on. He just hoped for Molly's sake it was his. 

The doorbell interrupted his thoughts. Downing his drink he went to let his and Molly's guest's in. Their night was beginning. 

"Charlie Boy complements of the season and all that. Good to see you." Elvis man hugged him in a show of friendship and strength.

Charles let his very jovial mate in and welcomed Georgie too. Pecking her on the cheek. 

"Good to see you guys. Come in come in. Molly's still upstairs she'll be down in a few. Drink?"

"Oh I'd love one thanks Charlie." Georgie replied as she followed him to the kitchen. Elvis shouted from the hallway he was just putting their overnight bags in the spare room, and bounded up the stairs. Shouting his hellos to Molly through the closed bedroom door.

Charles smiled to himself at the constant energy his friend had. Everything always seemed so easy going with him. He helped Georgie off with her coat. She stood there in front of him smoothing down her dress, looking questioning into his eyes. 

"You look lovely Georgie." He said, as he knew that she very much expected him to say. She giggled as she did a spin for him. As he watched her he had to marvel that everything about her was perfect.  
Elvis came in to the room and claimed his performing doll. Delighted in watching her perform.

"She gorgeous isn't she mate? Done me proud." And he placed a huge kiss in her lips. Charles grinned and moved away from them, smiling as he turned away, thinking that if Molly had heard Elvis' statement she'd have given him some lip.

"Stop it." Georgie screamed; as Elvis went into devour her. "My lippy." And playfully hit Elvis' arm, who tried to pretend he was mortally wounded giving an Oscar winning performance as her blow made contact.

"Hello everyone." A voice came from the kitchen door. Charles who had been pouring drinks spun round on hearing Molly's voice. Eager to see her, desperate to see how she looked. This was the part he always enjoyed, seeing her again once she had finished getting ready.

If he was speechless a few moment ago when he watched her upstairs, it was nothing to how he felt now he saw her in her party frock. It was tight fitting, figure enhancing and just perfect. She looked beautiful. Time stood still as she remained in the doorway her eyes locked onto Charles. It was only him she saw, really it was only him she greeted, although her greeting was offered to Elvis and Georgie.

She stood there in heels that gave her height, but it was her dress, her hair, her beauty that gave her greater standing than anyone else in the room. Not usually one for make up here she was made up with smoky seductive eyes, hair perfectly style slightly up and away from her face. She looked sophisticated and so composed. The diamond stud earrings he'd given her for Christmas sparking, the only jewels she wore. Nothing else was needed. Charles had never seen anyone who seemed more in command of their sensuality as Molly. It wasn't forced. It wasn't artificial, tonight it was just naturally her, and she seemed to directing it to him. 

He pushed his way past Elvis and Georgie, unable to stay away.

"You look beautiful. More than I can say. You're stunning Molly." He said taking her hand and kissing it, then entwining their fingers together. Their special hold on each other. 

She didn't need to perform to accept his compliment. She merely stood and looked in his eyes resting one had on his jacket lapel and quietly said. "Thank you." 

Suddenly nothing mattered anymore to Charles. His nerves disappeared. Those friends that may not approved could go and hang. With Molly on his arm nothing mattered. They had waited a long time to be together. To be so open with one another, now they were, and they could be their story was one he wanted to tell all about. 

As Elvis smirked watching Georgie moved and broke the moment between them and pushed in for hug greeting her old friend. Talking fifteen to the dozen, involving herself and her own agenda in the conversation, failing to realise that she had broken a special moment between Molly and Charles. But Elvis knew, he'd never seem his mate's heart so involved before. Moly very graciously didn't mind. Her and Charles had, in her mind, forever. She was just too happy, Georgie was her friend, and Molly would do anything for her friends who were as loyal as Georgie seemed to be. 

Drinks consumed, gossip caught up on, Christmas stories told, the four friends moved on from Charles' house and Molly's happiness continued as they made their way into the ballroom a little later on.

The mess had been transformed, Army style. As this was one of the first formal dos Molly had been to, with or without Charles, she found everything amazing. Charles had to agree, and loved how special it all was to Molly, totally the opposite to how Rebecca used to make him feel about these sort of dos.

"Drinks ladies." Elvis said coming over with glasses of champagne for them all. Dramatically handing them over, so all attention was on him. "I'd like to propose a toast if I may." He cleared his throat for full impact. "I'd just like to say that Charlie Boy and I are lucky bastards, and we thank Lady Luck for that. For tonight we have the best looking birds here on our arms". He raised his glass, as did they all and everyone drank.

Georgie grinned and slid across to Elvis to reward him with a kiss at his toast. She told him it was magnificent and 100% right. Molly just hid her smile in her glass, she was no public speaker but even to her ears that toast wasn't the best, and she still had lingering issues about being anyone's 'bird'. 

"Lovely." Was all Charles trusted himself to comment. He caught Molly's smile and bent to whispered in her ear. "Don't worry, he can do better. His best man speech will be better than that." 

Molly's head whipped up at what he said and stared at Charles. He could see the panic in her eyes, realised just what he had implied, her body freezing. She was at a loss as to what to think.

Charles looked at her. It amused him, her reaction to what he had said. He chuckled.

"Don't worry Dawes." He soothed into her ear. "No big proposal here for you tonight." He suddenly felt panicked though, so she understood. "I just meant when he was my best man last time…. That was all…. He was better." 

Molly downed her drink and tried to smile. It was awkward. Pretending that she wasn't fazed by the fact marriage had been hinted at, but she was and she truly didn't know why. Well except that she was too young, he had only just got divorced, and it was way too soon to be thinking about anything like that. It was odd though as her panic left her, and the night went on, she started to feel disappointed that Charles had ruled out a proposal. Feeling that if he ever was going to do it, tonight would have been perfect night for it. 

The hours ticked away and the night continued to be perfect. Charles enjoyed meeting old acquaintances and friends, surprising a few of them by announcing him and Molly were a couple. Molly knew fewer people there, and those she did know none of them were interested in her and Charles' relationship. However there were a few old friends that they both knew. Beck was there with his wife. When they went to say hello, he only raised an eyebrow at then, this surprised Molly though Charles told her later he'd already known about them as in the spirt of honesty and fair play Charles had told him during one of his post tour rehab catch ups. 

Kinders was the one who was the most shocked when Molly and Charles walked over to him arm in arm to say hello, and he was the most delighted too. He was the only one there from the section, enjoying a responsibility free night off with his girlfriend. Initially he had been speechless, making introductions to his girlfriend awkward. Molly had seconds of panic that he was going to judge her, thinking that she had betrayed Smurf in some way. However she did not need to worry, following those initial seconds where he was speechless he didn't shut up about it all night. His happiness was contagious. Molly giggled at his enthusiasm, and very relieved when he reassured Molly that the rest of the lads would be equally delighted, if not a bit jealous of the Bossman. Molly blushed at this, but Charles merely puffed his chest out with pride. Well aware in what high esteem Molly was held by two section. 

After all the fun of their Christmas and New Year the day soon came when their leave was up and they had to return back to the dull grey routine of work. The month of January went by quickly though. They still saw each other nearly every night. Molly becoming an almost permanent guest in Charles' house, but still she refused to give up her room at barracks and move in permanently. She enjoyed having a bit of her own space, somewhere she called hers.

It was at the very end of January that their perfect little bubble of happiness was popped.

Molly knew he was in her department before she even saw him. The way the other staff in the office reacted to him, her senses alert to his purposeful striding through her office space. He'd never turned up at her work before outside of normal training sessions. So to see him here today she knew he was troubled. She also knew that he knew. She didn't need to look at his face to know that, but when she did she saw the stern faced Captain from her time with two section. The stern face that told all who saw it just how angry he was.

"How long have you known?" He asked as soon as he saw her. No greeting, no time to acknowledge her salute. He sat down perched on the end of her desk in the open office that was full staffed that morning. They were drawing lots of attention. Not just because of Charles' good looks and the familiarity this Captain had with a Private, but because of the anxiety and anger that everyone could register was rolling off him. 

"A few days." She said quietly, guiltily, because that is how he made her feel. 

"A few days?" His voice was raise and heads turned. He ignored them, probably didn't even register them. He continued to stare at her, refusing to allow her to break eye contact with him.

"Look we can't talk here Sir." Mindful that this was not going to end well, and she didn't want to be humiliated in front of her colleagues if she could help it. "Give me a minute? Wait for me on the car park." He didn't move. Just stared at her, slowly shaking his head from side to side. The pain obvious in his eyes. His tongue moving around his mouth as though it was tasting his disappointment in her. "Please Charles". She almost whispered, she certainly begged, but still he did not move. His jaw tensed as he forced himself to hold his mouth shut.  
Finally he uncurled his long legs, ungripped his fingers that had clamped down on her desk and stood.

He stared at Molly and turned and left. Growling the words at her.

"Five minutes Dawes. Five minutes." 

Eventually she made her excuses and slipped away from her very curious colleagues and made her way to Charles' car. He wasn't inside it as she expected but pacing backwards and forward in front of it.

"Hi." She smiled at him. Trying to get back the good mood he'd been in when she left him that morning. 

He pulled open her car door. 

"Get in." He motioned with his head. 

Obeying as it was the least path of resistance she dutifully climbed in. now was not the time to lecture him on his manners. 

"So?" Was all he asked. 

"I was going to tell you. I only found out the other day. Just didn't know what to say."

"Shit Molly. Six months. Six fucking months." He slammed his hand into the steering wheel, and bent his head downwards. He couldn't look at her. It was too painful. He was struggling to keep his emotions to an acceptable level. 

Molly sat looking at her hands on her lap. Feeling very small, and contrite. Eye contact with an angry Charles was off putting, she remembered that from her days when she had been in his chain of command. She need to be controlled here, so kept her head turned away from his. 

"Charles I'm sorry. I don't have a choice really. I need this tour for my promotion. I couldn't refuse it. My CO said I was asked for personally."

He turned to her. She could feel his woeful eyes bearing into the side of her head. She still couldn't look at him. Instead she spent her time picking at the fabric of her combats.

"So you've said yes then? We haven't even discussed it. You're pissing off. Leaving me for six months and you didn't even think we should talk about it?"

His words stung. "I'm not pissing off. I'm not leaving you. I'm doing my job, the job you said I was brilliant at. I'm in the Army too Charles. This is what we do."

"Don't give me that shit Molly. I thought we were in a relationship. We talk about things." He rested his head back against the head rest, and sighed, his voice just wobbling a bit. "I've been in love with you for over a year now. I honestly thought we had something."

"We do." She looked at him hurt and confused. "We do Charles. I just need to do this." Frightened it was all slipping away from her.

"You do know that I'm away two weeks before you go. So I won't see you for six months and two weeks at the least. And what happens if I get deployed. What then?"

"I know. It's shit Charles and I'll hate every minute I'm away from you." She turned to him, moved to touch him, but hesitated. "I love you."

"Do you? Do you really? It bloody doesn't look like it from where I'm standing." He bit back.

"You don't mean that? You know I do." She leaned over to grab his hand. Mindful that they were starting to draw a little bit of attention from passers-by. Two soldiers arguing in a steaming up Land Rover in the car park was not too common a sight!

"It doesn't fucking feel it Molly. You've just gone and done your own thing. Without me. Without thinking about us. Again."

"I haven't. I didn't. I just don't think I had a choice."

"You could have told me. Talked to me about it." He replied. 

"I know. I was gonna."

"Yeah but you didn't. You haven't. I had to find out what my girlfriend was doing in a bloody planning meeting. Had to listen to her CO tell me something she should have bloody told me."

"I'm sorry." She meekly offered, she realised that she had messed this all up. He had a right to feel hurt. Then looking around realised that they couldn't go on like this in public anymore. "Can we talk about this tonight." She asked hopefully.

"I don't know. I'm busy." He shrugged his shoulders and started the engine. "I have to get back. I've wasted enough time on this." As he spoke he waved his hand between them.

She grabbed the door handle upset that he thought his time with her was seen as wasted. She knew he was going to be upset that's why she foolishly hadn't told him. She also knew that he could be a moody bugger, but she had always thought they'd be able to talk about everything. Now she wasn't so sure, he was just coming across as petulant, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to try when he was in this type of mood.

"No you're not. You're just punishing me." She snapped at him. Starting to feel pissed off that he had made such a scene at her work place. It was something she would never had done to him.

As she stepped out of the car, he tuned placing the car into gear and said coldly to her, looking straight ahead at her road.

"You know what you've done Molly? You've done exactly what I used to do to Rebecca. You've chosen a tour over me, over us!" 

"No no… that's not it at all. I haven't Charles." But her words fell on deaf ears. He slowly started to pull away and she was force to step away from the car closing the door as he went. No goodbye, no see you later.

She watched his brake lights disappear off her camp. She didn't know how to make this right. She'd committed to her tour. She wanted the tour. Just as Charles was committed to his training, and his career. She was fully aware though that in just two weeks they would be saying goodbye to each other for over six months and she was unsure as to whether that was enough time to fix the mess that she seemed to have created! 


	8. Chapter 8

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 8**

Molly rushed up to Charles' front door. She hadn't seen him since he had driven off after their argument. He hadn't answered her calls for the past two days, ignored all her texts too. She was mad to begin with, Molly Dawes mad, and then she just missed him, realising that she had hurt him. If he had done the same she guessed she would have felt the same way too. So she decided to go round to his, to find him, to talk to him. To show him that she loved him and needed him to be behind her on this.

Determinedly she knocked on his door, afraid to use her keys, her ownership of them a privilege she wondered if Charles still wanted her to use. It took ages for him to open the door and when he did he looked awful. Staring coldly at her, no emotion registering. Stern faced.

"Hello. So you're not dead then?" She joked as she stood there feeling foolish on the door step. He made no move to let her in.

"I guess not." He replied without any return of emotion. Standing hands in pockets, looking past her. Unable to give her any eye contact. 

"You gonna let me in then or what?" She asked, moving herself closer to him, almost touching him, invading his personal space so he hopefully was forced to take a step backwards to feel comfortable again. 

"What do you want Molly." He sighed. He knew her tactics but he held firm. He was unsure if he did want her to come in. They had only argued once or twice before, nothing big, nothing major. He'd done too much arguing with Rebecca. He didn't want to start the habit of arguing with Molly.

"What you talking about? I want it come in and talk to you. You haven't answered my calls. What's going in Charles?" It was unbelievable how this grown man in front of her could remain in the huff. This Captain of the British Army acting still like a school kid.

"Now you want to talk?" He snorted, running a hand through his hair. "Bit too late for that isn't it? You're leaving me. What more is there to say?" 

She had had enough. She thought she had left the playground tantrums well behind her when she left school. "Bloody hell Charles." And she pushed past him on the door step. He was moved out of her way by her small but determined frame, he turned and watched her standing in the hallway, arms folded and a questioning look on her face. 

"For the last time Charles I am not leaving you. I'm going on bloody tour. An operational tour at that. I'll be back."

"You're going for six months Molly." He shouted. Really shouted and she flinched. "I know what happens. Remember? I've been there. A lot can change in six months."

"Yeah course it can but a lot can stay the same too." She moved up to him trying to calm the situation down, wanting to avoid the neighbours hearing, as he slammed the door shut with his foot. "I'll come back to you. I promised you didn't I? I love you Charles." 

"I don't think so." He muttered and walked past her into the sitting room.

She followed him without being invited. As she entered she could see he'd been drinking. There were numerous lager bottles littering the coffee table. Food cartons joining them. The room was untidy, uncared for. It made Molly wary; she had only ever seen Charles happy drunk, up until now, never angry drunk like he seemed to be on the way to. Her past experiences of angry drunk boyfriends were not good ones, and for a split second she considered leaving before the situation turned. But she didn't, she stayed. This was Charles after all, her Charles, the gentleman, who had shown her nothing but love and respect.

"Course I'll come back. I always have. Always will. Why don't you believe me.?" 

"Well I never did." He said simply, and quietly, landing heavily on the settee, but she heard his words. "I just kept going and going until I eventually left Rebecca."

His honesty in how his marriage failed silenced her for a moment. Unsure how to react.

"Thought we were nothing like you and Rebecca." She eventually spat back. She was not going to be likened to his ex-wife, in any way, shape or circumstance, if she could help it.

She sat down next to him and held his hands. He snatched them away, and regretted it instantly as he noticed that it had startled her, he caught her look and moved his hand to rake through his hair as though that had been his purpose all along. He didn't want to frighten her. Always aware that his height gave him the advantage in conversations with most, he would not use this as a tool against Molly in their disagreements. Seeing how he still affected her, how his words seemed to sting he started to open up more. 

"No we're not." He admitted. That was the last thing he ever really wanted to have comparisons between his two relationships. "But hell Molly six months. That's a long time. I'll miss you." He studied his bare feet on the sitting room rug. Drawing patterns with his toes. Anything rather than look at her. He didn't need reminding how beautiful she was. How amazing she was. How she was not going to be in his life for the next six months. How utterly and totally strange this was all to him. 

She stood up and pushed her way into his lap. Startling him, sliding her legs either side of him so he straddled him on his lap. She could sense the change in him. Could see how he was struggling. 

"Hey you." She kissed his dry lips. She could tell that they had been chewed repeatedly over the past two days by him. A habit he did in times of stress and uncertainty. "I might gonna miss you too."

He looked up at her and smiled and accepted the kiss she gave him. Cherishing her lips on him, wishing he didn't feel so abandoned by her impending departure. 

"I think." She said as she broke away from his kiss. "That we should make the most for the two weeks we have left. Don't you?"

"Yes." He was powerless to say anything else. He loved this woman so much and was ashamed at just how needy he was about her. Memories, images flooded through his head, he half jokingly said. "Just don't bloody fall in love with this CO will you." 

Anger flashed in her eyes she jumped off him instantly. Too many times before Charles she had been made to feel like a cheap tart. Some of her own doing, she'd admit that now looking back, but she had changed. That wasn't her any more, and she thought that Charles knew that. 

"Shit Charles is that what this is all about? You don't trust me?"

"No? No Molly. That's not what I meant… I only meant…well you know you did fall in love with me on tour didn't you?" He couldn't find the words, he didn't know what he meant if he was truthful. He would always be amazed she had fallen for him, and even more so where it had happened. He had, if he was honest, enjoyed how their relationship happened, and couldn't deny he would always worry that it might happen again to her in similar circumstances. But he could never let Molly know this.

"What?" She screamed at him. "You are joking aren't you?" She looked at him directly. Challenging him, but he could see the tears starting in her eyes over his thoughtless comments.

He knew he said the wrong thing. His jealousy and insecurities at times where Molly was concerned were difficult to justify.

"No. Well course not. I mean. Well I don't mean it. But six months is a long time." He stood up from the settee and walked over to her, trying to show her how sorry he was, sorry for ….well sorry for just about everything.

Molly wasn't fooled; she could feel a grain of truth in his words, in how he was feeling.

"Are you saying what I think your saying? That I'm gonna be sleeping my way through this tour?"

He knew he needed to pull this back. Firmly taking her shoulders in his hands and drawing her into his chest, where she willing went, he replied. "No Molly. I don't. That's not why I meant. Forgive me please."

She looked up at him but didn't believe him. "You do trust me though don't you Charles? I'd never do anything like that to you. To anyone." 

"Yes of course I do. It's just I need you to be careful on this. I know how tours can get."

"Charles. Not once did I do anything to you when we were on tour. It wasn't me who over stepped the mark. It was you mate, all you. Every time. I'm not saying I didn't want you to, but I never did, I waited out." She saw the hurt in his eyes. "Is this what it's all about? You think I've got form on tour?"

As held her in his arms he knew he was wrong. These small doubts, insecurities had no founding, and certainly should never be voiced again. He had to convince Molly that he trusted her 100%.

"Molly please let's not argue. Let's let this go. We have so little time left, you're right let's make the most of it."

"Ok." She said really weakly. Folding herself into his arms. It used to feel safe her being there. Now she had doubts because he had doubts about her. She wondered if he really did trust her, like the way she really did trust him.

Two weeks was all they had, and Charles wanted to make those two weeks count. He insisted he wasn't making memories, that sounded almost final, that's not what they were doing, he just wanted to spend as much time as possible with Molly that he could. Time though was something that they both had little of. They managed however, to wrangle two whole days off together either side of a weekend. Charles foisting the final bits of organisation of the exercise onto his keen and eager lieutenant.

He'd wanted to take her away for a few nights. Molly didn't want that. She wanted to stay at home with him, do normal things, but do them together. Charles found this novel, that simple routine tasks of day to day life were fun to do with Molly. It had been in his past something that he had always shied away from. 

They enjoyed their days waking up late, enjoying their closeness and having no schedule to run to. Languishing in their freedom, using the time to satisfy and invest in each other bodies and needs. 

They lay there one morning, Charles resting in Molly's arms, head on her chest, legs and arms entwined around each other as she lay stripped bare on top of his bed. Both comfortable, content after their love making, unable to work out where one began and the other ended, when Charles broken their silence and spoke. 

"I'm scared." He said it in such a low quiet voice that Molly almost didn't recognise as it coming from Charles. Words she hadn't ever imagined hearing from him. 

"What? Of what? Me going?" She asked. Fear, true fear, was something she had only seen once or twice before from Charles, and always in extreme circumstances. An admission of him being scared while they were together like this, safe, made his words to her even more concerning. 

"No… Of me. The exercise. Getting back out there. What if I fuck it up again? What if I can't do it? What if I just don't have it in me anymore to lead?" 

"Charles." She played with his hair, stroking it like one would do to sooth as child who had woken up from a bad dream. Trying to offer him some comfort in her touch. "Where has this come from?"

"I don't know. Guess it's always been there. It's just with you going it's made me think. What happens if I can't do that anymore? I lost so much last time on tour…..over the years. What happens if I'm just not good enough? What happens if it all goes to shit again and it's my fault?"

She tried to reason with him. Discuss it logically, but she was only Molly Dawes and Charles' fear seemed deep and something she was unsure she could deal with. She tried to help, tried to say the right words, but she knew she hadn't really. It was beyond her. 

She tried to talk to him, tried to get him to talk to her, but he went no further. He looked ashamed that he had opened up as he had. Regretting that he had ever expressed his fears. This was not who he was, who they had trained him to be. He stopped the conversation minutes later, when he had had enough, shutting off his emotions to her by kissing her and slowly drawing them into the act of love making again. Filling her mind with pleasure, and pushing out her memories of what he had just confessed. It was how he coped, and he hoped that it was how she would cope too.

But Molly knew that there was a little bit of Charles that was broken and she didn't know how to help him. How could she help when he wouldn't talk about it? Her suggestions that he talk to someone professionally about his fears, his worries, were shot down and he closed up instantly. Making Molly realise that any mental anguish that Charles was going through would be hard to address when he dismissed all offers of help and to all who knew him saw him as a controlled Captain, coping with situations. Perhaps not understanding who he really was. 

As the days passed he never mentioned his fears again. Only once did Molly try to raise the subject, but he instantly cut her off, and she never felt brave enough to go there again. She felt foolish, thinking she was making too much of what had been said, even at times hesitant that Charles had voiced doubts about his capabilities. So she moved on, and pushed those thoughts from her head. 

As their relationship had developed over the months their time together now frequently involved Sam. With Charles now having his own home, with Rebecca caught up in her new love affair, Charles often had Sam at the weekends, and some nights. Molly didn't mind. They were becoming a happy little threesome unit, a cute kid, who adored his Daddy and was actually fun to be with. Over the years Sam had missed out on a lot of time with Charles and it was nice to see the building of their relationship.

It came as a surprise though to them both at Sam's reaction when they had told him about Molly's tour. He had been upset, really upset. Molly thought he must have misunderstood and thought it was Charles that was leaving, but it turned out she was wrong. 

"I'll miss you Molly." He quietly said one night going to bed. 

"It's alright mate. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up." She misunderstood what he was saying. Otherwise occupied as she was finishing off the evening meal dishes and had her back to him. 

"No I mean when you go. I'll miss you." He said, trying again. 

She turned to look at this little mini Charles stood there in the kitchen doorway, dressed in his Toy Story pyjamas, banging his teddy bear off his legs as he tried to be brave. His little eyes seemed huge and watery. 

Her heart melted and realised that it no longer just belonged to Charles. Sam was firmly in there too. Bending over to him, kneeling in front of him and hugging him she said. 

"I know mate. I'll miss you too. So very much. You're my best mate you know that. No one else can tease your Daddy like we do."

"Will you come back?" He asked. He sounded so like his father, worried he was going to lose her too. 

"Of course I will. All I do is give soldiers magic medicine when they have poorly tummies and plasters when they have sore fingers. It will be easy." She wondered why he had asked that question. They had all always avoided mentioning the risks of their jobs in front of Sam. But the she realised, the last person to go on tour that he knew was his Daddy, and he had come home having been shot. It was understandable that he was scared, that he had questions about her return. 

"No I mean will you come home to me? To Daddy?" His face twisted in sadness. He was starting to cry. Molly could feel the wet tears on her shoulder. She moved to pick him up, moved a kitchen chair out and sat him on her knee. Realising that she meant something to him, and he was sad that he may lose her. 

"Hey Sammie. Of course I will. I love you both and am going to miss you so much." Her eyes were leaking now too. Being a grownup was hard. This little man, and his father were now all so much part of her life in a way she never imagined that they could be, never imagined that it would be like this. Realising that her decisions, because of the love she felt for this little man, and the love he obviously felt for her, now affected not only her and Charles, but him too. 

It was at that moment that Charles came downstairs and saw the two of them cuddled up on the chair, crying. Touched at the scene, but equally terrified at seeing the two people he loved so upset.

"What's going on? He asked concerned. "You hurt Scamp?"

"No Daddy." And he hugged Molly harder, keeping his face buried in her neck. Not looking at his Daddy, not wanting him to see he was crying. 

"He's just a bit sad about me going away that's all." She explained quietly to Charles. Charles moved in closed to them both, knelt down and embraced them in both of his arms. He kissed both their heads, and Moly said louder so Sam could hear in the cocoon of hair he had tangled himself in. "But it's ok now. Cause we know we'll Skype and I'll write to him. Maybe mate you could send me out a picture or something too. Just like you do when Daddy goes away, and when I come home we'll get Daddy to take us out to that fancy dinosaur restaurant you like."

With this promise Sam's head left the safety of Molly's neck and through his tears he jerkily smiled. The promise of an adventure on her return enough to put him back into good spirits. His spirits revived, he willing kissed Molly goodnight and went off to bed, carried up the stairs in his Daddy's arms. Off to dream happy thoughts of burgers and dinosaurs. The type of dreams young boys should be having. 

When Charles came downstairs half an hour later or so, Sam finally asleep, he still found Molly sitting on the kitchen chair deep in thought. She hadn't moved, and still looked upset. 

"Thank you for that Molly." He leaned over and kissed her head. "You Ok?" He asked seeing sitting down opposite her. Ready to talk. 

"Yeah. No. Just gonna to miss you both like crazy. I knew it was going to be hard but it's harder than I thought. This time I have so much to say goodbye to."

Charles held her faced in the palms of his hands and pulled her towards him, and staring into her eyes he could only nod in agreement. This time it was going to be so hard. 

The day sadly came for Charles to leave on his exercise, and Molly saw him and the rest of two sections off in a very public car park on camp. Their good bye was restrained and hard to take, knowing that it was not a short goodbye they were giving each other, but a good bye that would mean they wouldn't see each other for over six months

"Will you write?" She asked him as they stood awkwardly next to one another in the car park because of their audience. Her voice full of anxiety that he might not keep in touch when they were apart. 

"Of course I bloody will. All the time. You don't need to ask." He said. Shaking his head, his eyebrows dipped together; truly amazed she even had to ask. "I'll Skype and call when we can, once I'm back. It's only Cyprus, non-combat for you. Should be quite good for us keeping in touch this time." 

"Yeah I know. You will look after yourself won't you? And your leg?" She awkwardly shifted from foot to foot, not wanting to break down so publically. Holding back the rage of feelings she had about the unfairness of their separation. 

"Of course. I will." He wrapped her up in a special Charles James hug. "I love you so much Molly." He said, kissing her head, and then he pulled her away from his warm body to look into her eyes. "Come back to me." He whispered and follow up his plea, their special words, with a kiss to her lips, full of his love and longing.

"I will." She replied as the kiss finished, looking into to his eyes, remembering how they looked last night as he held her, how they had always looked when he held her.

They had finally in their last few hours together, in the middle of the night come to some acceptance, some peace about Molly going. Charles admitting that he was so afraid of losing her, either through distance or something worse, it made him irrational about her need to do this tour. He also admitted he was jealous. She was going off again, leaving him at home. A role he wasn't used to.

Tears actually leaked from his eyes when she asked him if he'd be her next of kin contact on her file. As they lay next to each other, face to face, the look of anguish was plain to see. Visions of all the things that could go wrong crossing his mind. Dreadful things happened on tour. Had happened to them, but this time he would not be there with her, to look after her, to make sure she came home in one piece. They both knew it was a safe tour, an operational role, but there were never any guarantees.

And so in the late hours of the night and the early hours of the morning Molly and Charles showed one another their love and the longing they still had for each other. They came together in a sweet and beautiful way. Clinging on to each other as they climaxed, reluctant to let go of the emotions that they had stirred in each other. Their final act of love making for months, making them cling on to each other bodies for as long as they possible could.

"You still have it don't you?" He asked. Their time was really running out now. The coaches were being loaded, orders were being barked.

"Yes. I'll wear it always. You? Yours?"

"Course I have. It will go everywhere with me." They were talking about a gift Charles had given Molly at breakfast that morning.

He'd presented her with half a silver heart hung on a long silver chain. He had the matching silver heart, securely stored in his wallet. His was plain and simple. The perfect other half to her heart, together joined they made one heart. Her half was more detailed and he had three small diamonds dotted about it, making it sparkle in the sunshine when he gave it to her.

"Keep it safe?" She asked. "I love it you know. It's perfect." She toyed with it beneath her uniform. It wasn't strictly allowed but she guessed as long as she was discrete her CO wouldn't complain.

He rested his head on her forehead, like he had so many times before. A very familiar pose that all followers of this loved up couple would recognise. Holding her face gently with his hands on either side of her cheeks. It was a hold that he had used on her many times, his very first physical act of love and kindness he had shown her nearly a year ago, and its meaning and importance hadn't diminished.

"Think it's time." He hated saying those words to her, but knew the time had come. He needed to go and be a Captain again, round up his men and leave her.

"Yes. I guess." She pulled herself away from him. Feeling actual physical pain as their long separation was about to start. She risked speaking one last time before her professional mask needed to be slipped firmly into place. "I love you."

Watching him bend down, and picking up his kit, appreciating his need to be in control too, of himself, their goodbye, his departure from her. He however stopped in his tracks and turned back and stared at her. He thrust one hand into his combat trousers, while the other held on to his Bergen, consciously stopping himself from reaching out and holding her again.

"Love you too Molly. Brize six months? See you there."

See half smiled at him and nodded. He turned and walked off. Her jaw ached with holding her emotions in. She had never waved anyone off before and only now truly appreciated how hard it was. She was grateful that, as they had planned, she wouldn't stay to watch the coach pull away. She couldn't. Besides both were worried their reputations would be ruined by tearful farewells. She turned and walked away from the man she loved, the man who from this moment onwards physically wouldn't be in her life for the next six months. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 9**

She settled herself onto the exam couch in the med centre and opened the screen on her computer, a cup of tea by her side, a familiar prop to her time alone. Her fingers were shaking with excitement, worry and anticipation.

The internet line connected as expected immediately and within seconds she saw his beautiful happy face. A huge breath left her body making her feel light headed. Happiness engulfed her. 

"Charles." She scream with utter delight at the screen, and his electronic image. Her face bursting with joy.

"Molly." He replied almost talking over each other. "God I've missed you Dawes." Spoken almost reverently. He looked into the screen to see her face more closely. "How are you?"

"Missed you too. I'm good. Hot and sick of sand but so far so good." She answered readjusting herself to get closer to the screen too. Looking at her man for the first time in weeks. "What's that?" She pointed at the black eye Charles was sporting. 

"Ah that? Wondered if you'd notice." He touched his eye gingerly, wincing at the pain when he did. "Got into a bit of a fight with a guard gate in manoeuvres. It swung back and clocked me one. Bloody stupid thing to do really. Think I'd know by now." 

"You ok though? Everything ok? Is that all?" The worry poured out from her, memories of a conversation they had weeks ago about his fear resonating in her head. She scanned his image with concerned eyes. 

"Yes. Yes. Everything fine. Just clumsy, and I bloody miss you. We all do. Sam says hello."

She smiled at that, he'd already sent her a picture he had drawn. She hadn't a clue of what it was meant to be and she reminded herself she need to get the answer from Charles before she wrote back.

It was their first face to face Skype session they had had since they said goodbye to one another three weeks ago. His training exercise and connection issues had seen to that. They had wrote, long letters to each other. Molly, now quickly becoming a seasoned letter writer to all, wrote in hers about her days, her work and the people she was with. In the few he'd received since he had arrived back home he could see that she was once again thriving in the different environment. That once again Molly Dawes was brilliant at what she was doing. 

Charles loved to write letters, especially to Molly. It was a habit he had formed in boarding school and it was one that had stayed with him all throughout his military career. His letters to her were long and detailed, but had also been full of his news. These were however so different to his previous letters to her, for they now shared a life. She was part of his world that he wrote about, just as much as he was part of hers. He include his in his family news, the antics of Sam, and she enjoyed each and every story he told. He also include declarations of his love for her, and it was those words that made her believe that they could survive this separation. 

"So what's she like then?" She had been desperate to know. He had missed out all details of her in his letters, something that was driving Molly mad with curiosity. 

"Who?" He teased her. 

"You bleeding know who? Your new medic. That's who. What's she like?" Raising her hands in mock frustration at his teasing. Seeing he was enjoying it and playing along with him. 

"Well." He stated slowly, enjoying the game. "In one words I'd have to say my new medic is pretty good. Smart. Sharp. Good at the job. Fitted right in with the rest of the lads." He replied back, watching her almost deflate in front of him.

"Really? Well that's good isn't it? I guess." She smiled but Charles could see that it was just a bit forced. This was always going to be a hard thing for Molly to take. Her replacement as section medic was always someone Charles guessed she would second guess about. Concerned that no one could look after her old section and Charles as good as she could. "So is that all, anything else about her you can tell me. Is she nice? Do the lads like her?" Then finally she asked the question she was most keen to know about. "Is she pretty?"

Charles couldn't do it to her any longer. He had to tell her. "Well Molly. To begin with SHE is a HE. Forty odd year old chap. Married seems really good at his job. Lads like him. As to whether he's pretty couldn't say really. He's not my type." 

She giggled, with relief and how he'd rinsed her this time well and truly. "A HE! I thought you only got female medics now. Are you thinking that they don't trust you anymore with female ones?" She teased back.

"Careful Dawes." He replied, laughing at her dig at him, happy that she had some relief in knowing her replacement was a male. "No! Besides I think he was always planned for two section, just some delay in paper work and that. Whatever though he's better than my last medic mind you. Not as bloody reckless! Follows orders and so far hasn't given me a heart attack at some of his decisions!" He stared down at her face on the screen emphasising the point playfully about the trouble she had sometimes caused him on tour. 

"Hey." She moaned. "Not fair. I hear your last medic was the nuts actually. You were lucky to have her! Saved you and that she did."

"That you certainly did, both on and off the battle field. You did just that Molly. Thank you ". He smiled at her, both now sharing a memory of how precious life was to them. 

"So how's your section?" She asked. Two section used to be a lively and young section. Time had moved on, some of her original mates had left and had been replaced. The section wasn't as young or as green as it had been when Molly first joined it. It felt odd to her that there were men that Charles worked with every day that she didn't know. "What they like?" She asked.

"They are good, so far. Still sorting some shit out from the clay and that, but all ok up to now. All went well really. Happy actually at how we all worked. Felt good actually…being back out there."

It was a huge admission to her, touching on his previous doubts. She could see he seemed relaxed and as he talked about them he seemed genuine. This gave her some relief.

"I'm pleased for you Charles." She replied.

"So yours?" He too was curious about her new work mates. He needed details, stories about them so he could imagine her going about day to day interacting with them.

"Good bunch of lads actually. I'm the only female medic here mind you. A few female nurses in the main centre, but that's all. My CO is a cracking bloke actually. He's not as shouty as my last one. It's nice."

"Hey." He shouted out. "I was only shouty when I had to be. You'd cause anyone to shout at times Dawes." She laughed at that. She couldn't disagree with his logic. It had always been that way, even from being at school. Sometimes she needed to be shouted at to hear the message that was being given. "So anyway who did you get in the end, for you CO after Steel dropped out last minute?" 

"Thought I'd said?" She shook her head, their letter writing was good, regular, but sometimes keeping up with each other's news by letters that got inevitably delayed sometimes meant information became out of sync. "We got a mate of yours actually. Captain Wilson. Said he knew you." 

"Oh God. Hell yeah. Yeah I know him. Peter. Nice guy. How did my name pop into the conversation?" Charles was secretly pleased she was talking about him to others. That they knew about him. They knew about them. He was also relived as her new CO was someone he knew, thought a lot of and had faith in, the next best thing to looking after Molly in his absence. 

"I told him about my last Captain on tour. Said he was a right grumpy so and so. Very shouty, and a stern faced bugger. He guessed the rest. Knew exactly who I was talking about. Got your name in one." She burst out laughing when she saw the frown on his face. His beautiful brown eyes stared at her from the screen, were like a puppy dogs, begging for kindness. She couldn't be mean to him, she knew he prided himself in the good opinion others frequently had of him. "Nah. Only kidding Charles. We was talking about family and stuff. Told him you were my boyfriend. He nearly fell for his chair." 

"Really? Why's that?" Charles had trained with Wilson and was curious why he'd be surprised about him and Molly. It wasn't that surprising surely that Molly would love him. 

"Ah well you see I guess he didn't get the memo that you were divorced and that. He spent the first couple of minutes of the conversation thinking I was your bit on the side. Didn't know where to put himself. I could see he was bloody relieved when he realised just what was what." She smiled remembering just how proud she was in that she could now finally tell others about her and Charles. There was no waiting out, no need to keep them secret more. She played with the heart around her neck, and saw the beam of a smile on Charles' face as he registered just what she was doing. Then both of them burst out laughing at what she had just said, at Wilson's expense. Charles was the first to eventually stop.

"God Moly I'm missing you. Us." He quietly said. There was no true need to lower his voice, his call to her was being made in the privacy of his own home, but he was cautious as he didn't know exactly what her environment was like. 

"Yeah I know what you mean. It's awful isn't it? Worse than before cause we both know what we're missing now don't we?" She sighed, although she was happy to be loved by him, happy to be missed by him. The alternative would be just too awful to imagine. 

"Yeah." 

"I love you." She said sweetly and gently as she touched the screen tracing the image of face. "You know you can't get away with it though?" She continued a little bit more forcefully. 

"Get away with what?" He wondered how she always knew. How she had that ability to read him in a way no one else seemed to. How she refused to allow him to keep secrets from her.

"Your leg Charles!" She pointedly said. "How was in on exercise? I've seen you rubbing it all the while we've been talking. I see you you know!" 

"It's fine." He sighed. "A bit sore at times. Missing your massages I guess. They really help the calf to relax."

"You taking painkillers again? Warming up and that?" She was forever and always would be the medic. His Medic, his Molly, the girl who saved his life and who he loved. 

"Yeah to be honest though it's not really the leg I felt. It was my stomach wound. It seems just not right. Pulling a lot. Hurting when I do certain thing. Painkillers didn't really help."

"This is new. Isn't it?" She asked. 

"Not really. Been like that for a while. Just didn't want to say." He felt guilty admitting this to her, he had told no one before. Had skilfully passed over mentioning it to the medical exam board when he had his return to work medical. 

"Hell Charles. That makes me feel awful. Why the bleeding hell didn't you say? You gonna see someone about it?" 

"Yeah. Promise." He sighed. These feelings were new and hard to accept. Even after all this time he still felt that he was recovering from his shooting, that he wasn't as young or as fit as before and that hurt his male pride. Strength was something he prided himself in, be that physical or mental. Weakness was not a state of affairs that sat easily with Charles. 

Their conversation continued for a while longer, promise of talking the next night if they could, but when it ended Molly realised she'd learned something deeper about Charles. That he was stubborn, bloody minded she knew that, but also that he was willing to sacrifice himself his health to remain stubbornly the perfect Army man. She hoped that this attribute, which she found worrying, wouldn't cause him trouble. She had an awful feeling that somewhere down the line his need to appear perfect in control may have detrimental effects on them all and those whom he loved! 

The days and months ticked slowly by. Molly had frequent contact with Charles, almost every other day, far more than she had dared hoped, and it helped. But still she was lonely. She missed his cuddles, his hugs, their love making. She had no privacy to speak of. The lads of the section rarely left her alone, always wanting something, or trying to include her in everything so even having 'quality' time online with Charles wasn't able to happen if she had been brave enough to consider it.

She was frustrated though, understandably so as her world and everything in it had been opened up to the delights of love making, those amazing feelings with Charles which were now gone. She missed him, she missed the sex. It amazed her and she wasn't ashamed to admit she was, for the first time in her life, missing the benefits of the proper relationship she was in, she was horny for her man! 

Maybe, she thought if the job had been a bit more challenging, more interesting then she wouldn't have done what she did. If she was fully occupied in her role she wouldn't have been tempted. But she wasn't, and so she was tempted by the first chance of excitement that was offered her way. Maybe this is what Charles was talking about when he joked about her falling in love on tour, he knew that for her the tour would not be enough. That she would need more, and would succumb to other's offers. Maybe he knew her better than she knew herself! 

The first step in this changing path happened when Elvis arrived at her camp. He had arrived with the other SF guys of his team, all looking dangerous, all full of energy and to all who saw them a group of dam fine soldiers. Excitement fizzed around the camp, new personnel to talk to and stories to listen too. Molly was caught up in the excitement. Instantly garnering attention from Elvis as a friendly face from home, the two of them connected, bonded in their friendships. 

Molly was instantly drawn to them all, and as their first stop on arrival was for them to be checked over by her she thrived on the attention and friendship that their visit created. Elvis, as usual was particularly charming, he'd entertain Molly and the others with his wit and charm almost constantly. It was hard not to enjoy being around him. The more and more time that she spent with him Molly saw the similarities he shared with Charles, but there was something a bit cheekier than Charles, a bit more daring compared to Charles who was always the perfect gentleman. For the first time Molly understood the true charm of Elvis, and started to fall under his spell. 

He sort her out, especially in those first days, making her feel special. Both talking about Charles and tales from their training days that she doubted Charles would ever have told her. She saw a new side to Charles and the trouble he'd gotten into with his best mate. She learned to understand the importance of their friendship, and how as mates they would always be there for each other and for those they loved. More importantly though she loved the break in her routine, a break to her dull posting, and so when Elvis made his move, did what he did best she accepted his offer with open arms. He'd offered her a way out.

Her CO had also seen the closeness that had developed between these two, so wasn't that surprised when Elvis came to see him stating his intentions. It was the correct thing to do, he was making sure those professional and personal boundaries were clearly defined. 

"So how long in total do you want our Dawes for then Harte?" Wilson asked. 

Elvis was perched on the side of a table in Wilson's quarters. Comfortable that what he was offering to Molly was the right thing. For her, and for him, for the team. He could see she was stifled as things were on camp. He had gotten to know her well over the past weeks and could understand her charm. He thought Charles was one lucky man to have such a fine woman in his life. But he could also see she was similar to him. That she craved a little bit more than the plain safe route. This was one lady who liked to live on the dangerous side of life.

"As long as the mission lasts for I guess. She's an excellent medic. Good soldier and crack shot. She's perfect for me, for our team. They all know her. Get on well. She'll be a good addition." They were shipping out from Cyprus in the next few days, off on a mission across the water to a very sensitive conflicted area. He was down a medic and that was where Molly came in. That was his offer to her…..to join his team. 

"And Dawes has agreed to this has she? She happy going with you guys on this mission? Fully aware if the dangers that it can potentially offer?" 

"100% up for it. She knows. She understands. She did something like this once before I believe under James' command." Elvis replied, mentally flinching at the thought of his mate's reaction to Molly's transfer to his unit for the remainder of the tour. 

"Yes. I do believe so. Don't think he'll be happy about this though do you?" Wilson raised his eye questionably, a worried look flashing across his face. 

"Don't worry mate. I'll tell him." Elvis smiled back confidently at Wilson. He was pretty sure he could handle his mate…well maybe. 

So it was sorted, it was agreed that Molly was teaming with SF. There was nothing left she had to do, apart from the intensive tasks to fall in to mission briefings, and to catch up on all that had gone on before with the team, as well as understanding their medical needs and the health implications of the mission. She was also mad busy in her packing, both personally and professionally. It was up to her to ensure all the supplies were packed and good to go. Time was short and she had a lot to do.

However there was one task that she knew she had to undertake, that couldn't be put off and she steeled herself to do it at the first opportunity. She had to tell Charles. She was unsure how he would take the news, although she had a good idea, knowing how worried he'd be. Initially there had been a certain amount of shouting from him. Reckless and fool hardy being repeated terms used in his sentences about her. Then he calmed down and listened, heard what she was saying and tried to understand why she was doing it. Being all those miles away, with a slight time delay in the communications, it had been hard for Molly to give full justice to her decision, but she tried. She could see his reactions and cursed herself that she was causing him pain, but she knew this is what she just had to do. For her, like he had always told her to be, brilliant.

With each and every conversation that they had over the next few days, the topic always being about Molly joining SF, Charles became less and less upset about it all, and more and more accepting. He was still worried, beside himself with worry actually, but he felt for Molly's benefit he need to be positive and supportive. And so she went off on the mission with promises of looking after herself, listening to Elvis' orders, and making sure that no matter what happened she came back to him. Of course Molly promised that she would, and off she went on her new adventure with Elvis.

It was several weeks later that Charles finally breathed a sigh of relief. Molly had been gone for a while with Elvis, they had kept in sporadic contact on Skype, but she had time to write a lot. However tonight, today he had heard from unofficial, but never the less very reliable channels, that Molly and the rest were successful in their tasks. More importantly to Charles though was that they were safe and returning back to Cyprus in the next day or so. Therefore it was a happy, relieved Captain that put the key into his front door lock at the end of a stressful day, looking forward to a relaxing evening anticipating hearing from Molly herself in the next 48 hours.

As he walked into the kitchen, turning on some music to fill his lonely home, he went to the fridge to pour himself a glass of celebratory wine. The spring day coming to a happy and peaceful end. He was enjoying the solitude and mentally making plans for when Molly retuned home, no exact date yet, but it would be soon. He sat there contemplating their reunion, twirling his glass around in his hand, when he heard a knock on the front door.

He got few visitors that weren't planned and so this sound initially filled him with dread, concerned at who was on the other side of the door, concerned as to this unannounced guest's purpose. He cautiously approached and braced himself as he opened the door.

"Shit. Georgie? Fuck I was worried there for a bit. What are you doing here?"

"Hi Charlie, nice to see you too. Was in the area. I….err just thought you know I'd pop into see you." She explained nervously to him.

"Lovely!" Charles manners winning out over his suspicious mind. "Come in. I'm having some wine. Want some?"

"Yes…mmmm…...no best not. I'm driving." Georgie stood in the kitchen, close enough for Charles to see the nervous energy rippling through her body. She reached over and touched his arm. He stared down and frown at this contact. "How are you Charlie?"

"I'm good thanks Lane. Missing Molly, but it won't be long now, till she's home. You heard from Elvis?" He asked moving away from her causing her hand to fall away from his arm and hang redundant at her side.

Moving to take a seat on one of the kitchen chairs she smiled up at him. "Yeah. Me too. Yeah they be home soon I guess." Her voice seemed odd, she looked at her watch. Her and Charles knew one another on a social scale; but there was always Elvis and Molly around to help in their conversations. Her being here tonight seemed odd without the other two to buffer them.

"Bit odd me being her without Elvis, isn't it? She picked up on Charles' uncomfortableness as he stood with his back to the sink, resting himself against the units.

"Yeah a bit." He offered back. "Tea, coffee?" He went on playing the host but was becoming increasing uncomfortable. She then stood up and placed herself directly in front of him, trapping him, no chance of escape.

"No. Look Charlie. I've something to say." She played with the watch on her wrist, concentrating on the time, avoiding eye contact with him. "It's just you know you mean the world to Elvis. Well you do to me too." She raised her eyes up to meet his. She knew she was making a mess of this she had to explain to him, before Elvis and Molly next spoke to him.

"Ok. Lane. You're a bit odd here. What's going on?"

She stared at the clock on the wall behind him, knowing what she was going to say, what he would be hearing in the next few minutes would scare him and change things between them.

"You know you mean the world to me too. I think an awful lot of you." He nodded slowly at her words. "It just in a few minutes Elvis is going to call and tell you something. I just need you to be prepared. I need you to know I'm here. Here by your side."

"Shit Georgie. What the f….." Just then his phone rang and Elvis' number came up. He fixed his glare at Georgie unsure what was going to be said. She sat back down to give him some privacy as he answered the call, but never took her eyes off him. She only heard his side of the conversation.

"What going on Elvis. Yes Georgie is here…"

"Don't tell me to calm the fuck down. What's up...?"

"I am calm…tell me mate…is it Molly….?"

"Oh shit…how….. When…"

"But I thought….everything was ok.…mission ended…you were on your way home…."

"How bad…Shit…when…how long?"

"Which hospital…look after her for me….."

"Tell her I love her…..fuck mate….I don't know…can't think…I guess….I'll leave now…..shit I've been drinking….she will….that's why she's here….?

"Thanks Elvis…..yeah mate I will….oh shit I can't lose her….no no no…I understand…"

"Please tell Molly I love her….tell her I'll see her soon….tell her to hang in there for me…"

"Ok mate….appreciate it…oh hell…shit….yeah I know….thanks."

And with that he hung up and looked over to Georgie who instantly stood and place her hand back on his arm, just as she had done before, but this time it felt right, comforting.

"It's Molly." He said and she nodded, she'd known before him. This was the reason she was here. Elvis had asked her to call on Charlie, to be with him while he called at the allotted time to break the news to him. He didn't want any faceless Army personnel breaking the news to his mate, he wanted to be the one, and he wanted to make sure there was someone with him knowing he'd be in a state once he heard the news.

"It's Molly…" He started again. His voice breaking. "She's unwell, had an operation, just come out….her appendix burst…she's been critical….blood poisoning…they are flying her home now…..Birmingham…..three hours." It was as conversant as he could be. The information processing through his brain as bullet points causing him to speak in that way.

"I know. Sit. Have some water." He was pale, as Elvis' best mate, her friend's boyfriend, as her friend, her heart went as to him and she was here to help. To reunite him with Molly. "I'll drive you there. We've got it all sorted. We're meeting Elvis there. Let's pack a bag for you both and go."

Charles had never been more grateful before. Georgie was there to help, and that she did as she flew around the house and collected his and Molly's things. He felt briefly ashamed of how he had felt moments ago, before the call. Now he needed her. He was depending on her because all he was focusing on were the distressing points of Elvis' call. His Molly had collapsed on returning to Cyprus, she'd been feeling unwell for days but said nothing. Her appendix had burst, and was swiftly dealt with but not before there were some complications causing peritonitis. She was critical, but stable. She was being transferred home immediately, still not conscious.

As he sat there with his head in his hands, leaning over his knees gulping down lungs full of air to try to calm himself, to fight the waves of nausea he had only one thought. The woman he loved needed him, he need to pull himself together. He needed to get out of his house, for him and Georgie to leave now.

He needed to get to his Molly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 10**

She was all warm and cosy lying in the hospital bed. Finally she had arrived after the worst two days of her life. She'd been jostled from stretcher to bed, ambulance to plane, plane to bed again. But now she was here. Safe, warm and pain free. She was struggling to open her eyes. She hadn't yet and didn't intend to for a while…. she just let the comfort take over, the painkillers to work and drifted off to sleep again. 

When she became semi conscious a while later she heard voices. Low quiet, concerned. She heard Charles' voice and wanted to wake up to talk to him, but was still so tired, it was comforting to know he was there. Later she promised herself she would talk to him, in a while after another little sleep, and she succumbed. As Molly drifted off she heard the doctors reassure Charles that she was ok, and she'd wake when she was ready, he was finding it difficult she could tell by the tone in his voice though. She wanted to comfort him, tell him she was alright, but she thought she had best listen to the doctor's advice. Yes Molly thought that was a good idea she'd wake up when she was ready.

The sensation of her hand being held and squeezed frequently brought Molly around the next time she was aware of her environment. The hand holding thing was a bit annoying, she wanted to sleep more. She cracked her eyes to see who the guilty person doing this to her was and her heart skipped a beat, she was greeted by a mop of brown curly untidy hair bowed down, bent over on her bed. It was Charles. 

"Hey you." She tried to say. Her throat dry and the words came out choked. It was enough of a sound though to disturb Charles. To get him to look up at her.

"Molly. Hey you. Oh my love." His eyes danced in the dim lights of the room, they were full of tears. She could see that some had even made their way down his face. He looked tired, but he looked happy. A wide smile spreading across his weary face.

"Hey." She tried again. Her voice a bit stronger this time. She moved her hand up to touch his face, his stubble reassuringly scratching her palm. A lovely sensation, but it made her realise he must have been here for a while. "You ok?" 

"Me?" His eyes shot up at her question. "Oh God only you Dawes could ask me that now. Bloody hell Molly forget me. How are you?"

"Happy to see you…" She smiled licking her lips. "And thirsty. Where am I?" She asked confused about the room she was in. 

Charles gave her a drink and filled her in about her dramatic events of the past 48hours, pleased she was awake enough to be curious. As he explained she couldn't help but feel surreal about it all. Last thing she remembered was being sick in her quarters, and now here she was lying in a hospital bed, back in the UK, with Charles, the man she had missed so much, holding her hand. She hadn't seen him for nearly five months, and although sleep was still her driving need she was so happy to see him and forced herself to stay awake for a little longer.

He explained to her all the bits she had missed, or just couldn't remember, admitting that they all had been worried about her for a time, but the doctors now felt things had improved. She was going to be just fine, a smile broke out across his face when he said those words. Relief, now she was awake in knowing she was out of danger. All the time he talked to her, he held her hand and stroked her hair, not truly believing she was back. Not exactly home or the way he wanted her to come back from tour, but at least she was here with him. 

"Are you mad at me?" She quietly asked moving her cheek to rest in his hand as he cupped her face. 

"Mad? Why would I be mad Molly I'm just pleased you're home? You're safe."

"Cause I fucked up again." She said. "I went off on tour all independent like, and yet here I am, all broken." 

"Molly my love. You're not broken. You had a burst appendix. You most certainly did not fuck this up." 

"Really? You're not mad." She had been waiting, half expecting for Captain Stern Face making a reappearance as it used to on tour. But it hadn't.

"No I'm not mad. Pleased you're going to be ok. And even more pleased that I'm going to get you home sooner than we expected." He smiled at her and watch a tear tickle out of both her eyes. "Hey. You're safe. It's ok." He soothed and sat himself down on the bed facing her. He saw her wince as his weight shifted her in the bed. "Sorry." He offered, but did not move. Instead just sat there holding her face in both of his hands catching the odd stray tear that rolled down her face, and brushing them away with his thumbs. 

He stayed with her for a while. Shifting back into his chair as he could see her eyes start to droop. Eventually she fell asleep and he used the time to call her parents again and update them as well as his. Elvis and Georgie, his friends, had left hours ago, only staying until they knew Charles had pulled himself together and that Molly was going to be ok. Then Charles had instead that they leave; he could only imagine how tired Elvis must have been, and how he'd want to be with his girl.

Once all his calls had been made he sat alone with his thoughts, watching over Molly as she slept. Guarding her almost, and that is how he stayed for the next few days. Loyal, forever staying at her side as much as he could.

"You ok?" She asked. They were both lying on their backs in his bedroom days later. Wide awake, silent. Staring at the ceiling. 

"Yes why wouldn't I be?" He quietly answered. A standard automatic response.

She rolled over onto her side, grimacing slightly and she was still sore. "You know why. Today... I just thought?" She offered. 

"Yeah I know Molly. I know. Just thinking that's all." And he rolled over to face her. Moving his hand to her face gently cupping it and slowly tracing his thumb over her check. She accepted he looked sad.

"I know...me too". She placed her hand over his and smiled, and big beautiful smile that mirrored his sadness. They both had the same memories to process. 

"A year today." He whispered. "A whole year." 

"Yeah…. can't stop thinking about it. Like it was yesterday. Still hear everything, still remember the smells, you lying there, the blood."

He shifted closer to her and pulled her into him so her head rested just below his shoulders. It was still the middle of the night. They both should be asleep. Molly was still recovering; he had work in the morning. But sleep evaded them. Too many memories of that day in their nuts. 

"Thank you." He kissed her head, and she looked up in surprise. She was unsure as to what she was being thanked for. "A whole year ago." He continued not clarifying his words. 

"What about you? Do you think about it much? The shooting?" She asked, almost a pointless question, she knew he did. 

"Yeah. A lot. All the time whenever my side or leg hurts or I hear certain noises. It's ok most days…. it's fine. Others it just takes a lot of effort." He was being totally honest with her.

"You can always talk to me you know?" 

"I know Molly. A year ago today you saved my life on that bridge and I'll never stop thanking you. I know I'm lucky. To be here and to have you. My life…well either way I wouldn't have one without you."

They lay there just holding one another, remembering. Each having different memories of that day. Each having different versions of the events that unfolded, that bonded them. 

"You know what though Charles?" She smiled at him, and saw his face register a puzzled look. "It may be a year since you got shot... but it's also a year since you first kissed me! That's a good memory to celebrate. Isn't it?" 

He chuckled, she was right. "It most certainly is Dawes. Just hope that wasn't the cause of the fuck up though. Still have my doubts." His face clouded over again in worry. 

"Don't. It wasn't." Gently but forcefully she repeated the words she had said to him numerous times over the past year, her and plenty of others. "It was a crazy situation…. Smurf was unwell, we didn't know. Anything would have tipped him." 

"I know. I know. We've said it all before… but…. I still have doubts…little ones some days…bigger ones other." 

"Hope you don't have bleeding doubts about kissing me?" She teased nudging him playfully in the ribs. 

"Never Molly best thing I ever did. In all that…right or wrong…I'll never regret it." 

"To right." She smiled, then silence again. "It will be a year since Smurf died soon too."

"I know. You ok?" He pulled her in tighter and placed a kiss on her head. 

"I will be. I guess I am. I'm here with you. Where I belong. I'm sad but that's ok 'cause at least I'm remembering him and all the good times. He was a good mate."

"He was. He was Molly." 

"Think we should try to sleep?" She asked.

"Yes. I guess." But he knew he wouldn't not for a long while. His head still reliving the story of his shooting. The bridge, the sense of failure. The heat, the feelings of pain. The nothingness, the sense of loss. He knew he had to turn this off, these thoughts, he needed to bring his mind back to happier things.

His mind thankful drifted back to a few weeks ago when he had brought Molly home. She had only spent four days in the hospital, once her drains were out and she started to respond to oral antibiotics she was discharged. He drove her home to his, and she had slept the entire three hour journey. He laughed at the memory he had of that journey, he'd expected for them to catch up on news from her tour, but instead she had just slept.

As he held her now in bed he noticed her breathing had changed and he could tell she had fallen asleep again, this time in his arms, leaving him uncomfortable but reluctant to move positions in case he woke her. His leg ached as did his stomach, though he was unsure if it was true pain, or just through the memories that were starting to torment his mind again. At some stage he must have moved, reliving that day, he jerked her, because suddenly she woke startled. 

"What's going on?" She sleepily asked, then noticing that there were tracks of dried tears that at some stage, since they last talked, had rolled down his face. "You ok? Had any sleep?" She looked at the bedroom clock it was still very early. 

"No. Not really. Too early to get up, so thought I'd just lie here with you for a while. Sorry I woke you."

"Don't be. That's what I'm here for. You want to talk?"

"No….not about the shooting. Think I've done enough of that for a life time." He moved her out of his arms trying to regain some circulation, ease to his joints. He turned on the bedside lamp and sat himself up.

Molly watched him, appreciating her luck, admiring his toned body, desire suddenly starting to rise inside her. Since her return they hadn't been wholly intimate with one another. Her abdominal incision still tender and her energy levels zero by the end of the day. He had been understanding, caring, concerned, but frequently joked that he bloody hoped her mojo would come home from tour soon. Now looking at him Molly was starting to feel that maybe it was returning. Its leave of absence coming to an end.

He caught her watching him but was too caught up in his own thoughts; own agenda, to think that her look was anything except one of pure concern. 

"It could have all been so different." He sighed. Head rolling backwards forcibly onto the head board, banging the wood against the wall. "I could have lost everything. Instead I gained." His eyes were tight shut to keep the tears in. "I got you. I've got Sam. I've still got the Army. I'm one of the lucky ones."

She sat up and moved herself to kneel to the front of him, getting eye contact from him as she changed her position. His eye were red and looked tired when he did open them. 

"You know Smurf….. just before you came into the bunker…. told me that if he'd called me after... well you know... Indian take away night... then things might have been different with me and him. Him and me might have happened." 

Charles raised his eyes at her mentioning her and Smurf's liaison. She continued though. "I told him then...I knew…that nothing would have been different. There would never have been a 'me and him'." She could she he wasn't understanding her so she continued. "It's not like that with you though Charles… never has been from day one. Whatever happened I always had this feeling, always knew, whatever happened it was always gonna be me and you."

"Really?" He asked. "Never any doubt? Even when I didn't tell you about Rebecca and Sam?" 

"You hurt me…. you know you did. But even then I knew I'd forgive you…. once I'd calmed down and all that. Once we were away from war and its shit. I knew. Still know."

"I'm sorry..." 

"Don't. Stop it. That's not why I'm saying this." She forcefully spoke at him. "No more 'sorrys'. You've nothing to say sorry for. It was what it was…. but we're here now…. and… maybe we had to have all that shit happen so something good could come out at the end. Me and you."

He leaned forward and pulled her into his lap. Her legs curling either side of his waist. 

"God Molly I love you so much. You're right if that's what we had to go through to get here, to have you in my life then I'd do it all again. You're still the last thing I want to see."

"Ditto"

And then she brought her head towards his and rested their two foreheads together. They stayed that way for minutes staring into each other eye, talking to each other souls.

Eventually Molly pulled away, seeing the questioning look on his face and said. "What?"

He went all serious, pulled himself up and drew in a breath, and she knew, she just knew. He was going to ask, right here, right now. She knew he had been building up to it for weeks. She was expecting it, and was surprised that he hadn't yet done it.

Before her tour she would not have known how to answer him, but now she did. No longer would her answer to his question upset him, but would make him happy, and a year on from their first ever kiss, she thought it was an appropriate time, the right time for him to ask her. 

"Molly?" He pulled her hand into his, playing with her fingers. "I was wondering. We get on well don't' we?"

She giggled at this. "Get on well? Yeah I should think so Charles."

He looked bashful at her teasing, cleared his throat and continued.

"I've something to ask you Molly. It serious."

"Ok…go on...I'll be serious." She owed it to him to let him do this his way.

From the moment she walked through his front door he knew he never wanted her to leave again. Stubborn though she was and an awful patient, he loved having her in his home. He had asked before about her moving in permanently but she never seemed to take it seriously. Now he wanted to make it official, but he knew he had to broach the subject with caution and diplomacy, so not to insult Molly's independence.

"Shit. The thing is you know I love you. Missed you like crazy when you were away. I've love having you here...being the first thing I see each day."

"Me too."

"Molly will you please.…what do you think…it's about time….will you please move in with me…please?"

She squeaked with delight, balancing herself forward so she rested perfectly in his groin and in his arms. "Course I bleeding will. What took you so long to ask me?" Giggling at his surprised look.

"You will? Fuck that's great. I mean I hoped but I didn't dare…. think you'd say yes…not without a bit of a fight. You mean it?"

"Of course I do. I love you. Love being here. I don't need my own room, own space anymore. Being away from you these past five months has shown me what I need….I need you."

"Ok so when?" It couldn't come soon enough for him. To him this was their start of their everything together.

"Well I'm here now, don't have much stuff left in my room to be honest. I'm sorry Charles I don't have much to add. Probably one car load if that!"

"Lovely. So tomorrow after work we'll go to yours and you can watch me pack up your stuff. You can put the paperwork in too requesting to live off camp." He jumped up out of the bed, first gently lifting Molly off his lap. He was gloriously naked and the effects of her being so close to him very obvious.

Giggling at his excitement she pointed at her effect on a certain part of his anatomy. "Err Charles…what you doing over there when that obviously wants to be back over here?"

He looked down at his arousal and smirked, then catching the look in her eyes said. 

"What? It's just you know if I stay in bed I won't be able to stop myself Molly." 

"I know. I don't want you too...stop that is. I think my mojo has just come back from tour!" She giggled pulling back the covers inviting him in. 

He jumped into the bed and lay alongside her. "Well thank God for that... it's been a bloody long tour Dawes!" 

He stripped off her sleep wear quickly, needing to make sure she didn't change her mind. To be this close and to be stopped would be torture. It had been nearly six months since he'd had true intimacy with Molly and he ached. Obviously he'd had release when she was away, selfishly when he was alone, and since she come back they'd 'messed around', but they hadn't been 'together' together and that's what he ached for. To feel Molly wrapped around him, to feel all of her in his arms, captivated by the spell they had over one another. To have that physical release with her that made him feel complete, loved. Something he had only ever felt with her and with no one else. 

Once she was naked he stared to kiss her from her lips downwards. Placing gentle, slow, wet kisses that chilled her skin once his lips had left their spot to move further down her body. Their absence making his sensual journey even more tantalising as she became aware of his destination. 

At one stage he stopped, just below her waist and stared up at her adoringly. Gentle with his eyes asking permission to continue. To pleasure her with his kisses even further down her body. 

"Charles." She moaned. "I don't know if I can wait out. I want to have you now, I've missed you." 

"Molly." He spoke though his mouth never left her skin, the vibration of his words stimulating her sensitive area even more. She arched her body in reply, gaining more contact with his lips. He grinned though no one could see, his face buried within her. "Let's take this slow. I want to adore you...now... and... forever..." 

He continued with his ministrations, lovingly and diligently and Molly moaned and begged for him not to stop, ever and thrashed her body around as she reached her climax. Her body responded ever so powerfully to him, emotions being released in her that had for so long been repressed. 

When her world finally returned to a degree of normality. When her vision stop displaying thousands of million stars bursting through the night. When her breathing had return to a slow pant, only then did she trust herself to speak. 

He'd waited patiently for her to return back to some degree of semblance. Loving the sight of his girl totally overcome, spent with the pleasure he'd given her. Resting next to her all the time, cooing words of love into her ear and gently stoking her hair, until she was ready. She turned to look at him. 

"Charles. That was..." She couldn't finish, her smile breaking out across her face stopping her from forming the words. 

"I take it that was ok?" He laughed at her face, beads of moisture on her brow, flushed and still slightly dazed. 

"Bleeding ok? That was perfect." She turned her still gently quivering body to his, moulded herself to him and kissed him. Deeply and with purpose. Her hands trailing down his body and taking hold of his hardness. She knew her man and knew he needed to be rewarded for his attention to her. 

Hearing him groan at her touch, almost feeling the ache he had for her, she rolled over to grab the condoms from the bedside cabinet, apologising for their use due to the antibiotics. 

He made no comment watching her take control of him and rolling it down on to him. He threw his head back at once stage biting his lip, trying to hold on to the modicum of self-control he had left. 

He then took hold of her hand and then went to lay her down underneath him. Holding her eyes in his but she resisted, and it surprised him. 

"No Charles. Me on top. Just in case my scar... and that." 

He understood she was still tender from her operation. He lifted her again and positioned her onto his lap. As she entered him all the bad thoughts images this day, this anniversary had brought him washed away. 

As he felt her sink onto him, as he felt her contract around him he knew his Molly was home. He was her home and she was his. His released proved to him that the sadness they had endured would never permeate into their love or destroy it. The past they had would only strengthen it. 

"You ok?" He asked a while later. Their love making had been physical, intense and beautiful. He needed to know though he hadn't hurt her in his quest to devour all she had to offer him. 

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She sighed holding on to his body as she lay stretched out on his chest. The bed sheet scrunched around them. Both lying there content, the spring dawn started to creep into the bedroom. "I'm bleeding great Charles. What a home coming. That was a great way to celebrate our first kiss anniversary too." She said.

He kissed her hair. "Yes it was. Thank you for coming back to me. Then and now" 

"I always will. Don't worry. Just make sure you always do too. Never leave me." Her last words we also whispered, heartfelt. He understood neither of them could consider a future without the other. They were too connected, they were each other's everything. 

Charles didn't hang round, something that amused Molly, the next night as promised he met her at her camp to clear out her room. As he stood there in her space, a space he had only been in a few times before, he appreciated that this might have been Molly's world but there were bits of him all around it. Photos of him, and of them both stuck around her mirror above her sink, the formal photo of them at the New Year's Eve ball, a body spray of his she loved the smell of, several of his t-shirts in her laundry basket. All evidence that Molly had him in her life wherever she was. He'd never stayed over in Molly's room, not because he didn't want to, it just there was never a need. They had more privacy at his, and besides as Molly joked the last thing her female corridor neighbours needed seeing on waking up for the loo in the middle of the night was a view of Captain gorgeous walking down the corridor in his boxers!

There was as Molly had said very little to pack up from her room and it took them no time before they were back at Charles'. As she unpacked the holdall and black plastic bags she felt embarrassed at how little she had to bring to their home. Apologising to Charles as she unpacked. He merely held her in his arms and told her she was all that mattered. This made her smile, but she still felt she needed to contribute something and so a few weeks later when her Mum and Bella came to stay, she made her first purchase for their home.

She bought them a new chest of drawers, big solid wood imposing ones that would fit into their bedroom, just, but would hold all her clothes, and maybe even a few of his! She loved this set of draws, it was the first piece of furniture she had ever bought, and they were expensive adding to the thrill, but that also to Molly it was a sign of her commitment. Charles laughed when he saw, and her pride in buying them, he praised them just the right amount to make Molly's happiness complete.

Their new domesticated life had been going well together. Molly was still off sick, a minor complications with her incision scar meant she wasn't Army fit for a few more weeks. This meant that she had a lot of time on her hands, and used it wisely. Unbeknown to Charles she booked herself on an intensive driving course, hoping to pass her test in a week. She didn't and had to admit to Charles one night when he came home to find her in a bad mood, one he had no idea the cause of. He didn't tease her about her fail, he knew better than that, but encouraged her to keep trying. If anything this man knew Molly was no quitter. He had seen that with her swimming lessons. She had been told to take up swimming as physio for her side; she didn't dare to admit that she couldn't swim to them. So Charles took her off to the local pool for lessons, while Charles used this exercise to help his abdominal injury. She had numerous lessons and seemed to enjoy it, but the day of her 25 metre swim test came, and in her words she was "Bricking it". However she did it, and secretly was very very proud of the sew on badge and certificate she was awarded. Sam had joke that she could almost swim as far as he could, which made Molly even the more determined and often saw her at the local baths with Sam, getting stronger and better in her swimming. So Charles had no doubt that her driving would be just the same.

The other thing she chose to so with her extended sick leave was to turn herself into a bit of a domestic goddess. She'd never had a kitchen to play in or experiment with, and she loved it. The freedom, the fun, and most importantly the finished products. Every night since she had moved in Charles had returned home to a Molly, and a cooked meal. Sometimes edible and sometimes not, but whatever she had on offer he revelled in it and the comfort he found on entering his front door being welcomed home by her. She had even tried some of her new kitchen skills out on company. Charles' parents the first guinea pigs, closely followed by Elvis and Georgie.

It was therefore as a surprise a few weeks later that Charles returned home to find the house in semi darkness and no sign of Molly in her usual place. He called out her name only to find her curled up on the settee, crying. He knelt down beside her, and seeing how upset she was he didn't need to ask why. He knew. The date had stayed in his mind too. Today it was a year since Smurf had died, a year ago that Molly had loss her best friend. He pulled her into a hug, rubbing his hands down her back, rocking her gently. They stayed like that for many minutes, until Molly was able to talk.

"I'm sorry. I'm a bit of a fuckmuppet today. It's just you know remembering and that." She said in shaky breaths.

"I know. I know, and never say sorry."

"I miss him. Annoying as he was, he was a good mate. I loved him for that. He didn't deserve it."

"You spoke to Candy?" He asked.

"Yeah. Just before you came in, that's what got me like this I guess. Been ok all day up until then." She stared up at him and bit her lip before her confession. "I haven't even made up you your supper."

He laughed gently into her hair. "Good. That make this easier to do then."

"What?" She asked noticing he looked nervous.

"I was planning. Had planned with a few of the old two section for us to meet up with them tonight. For few drinks. To honour Smurf, his memory on his anniversary. You ok with that?"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? It's a lovely idea. Thank you Charles." She kissed him, then added. "You know I might make you right after all. I once said I don't do perfect. I think I do. Well at least I do with you. I love you."

"Ditto" was his reply, as he held her knowing her never wanted to let her go.


	11. Chapter 11

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 11**

"You want to tell me just what the fuck that was all about?" She threw her evening bag down on the hall table and kicked off her heels. "Well Charles?"

She was mad. The last few hours at the do made him suspect this. The taxi journey home confirmed it; she wasn't just in a bad mood she was close to nuclear.

"I take it this is about Pip? It was nothing Molly." He moved forward trying to reassure her, but her anger was too far gone to be calmed down by his touch. 

They had been to the end of summer Officer's ball. A do Molly didn't really want to go to as there would be few she would know. They were all really Charles' friend, a lot she had never met, but it was important to him. So she bought herself a fancy dress, becoming of an officer's girlfriend, but on a brave face and went. Everything was going along as she had expected. Lots of 'hellos' and 'how are you?'. Molly even found that some of his old friends were friendly and genuinely good fun to be with. Others though, like Perfect bleeding Pippa, she found were right royal pain in the bums. 

From the moment she had been introduced to her, she knew she disliked her, and that the feeling was mutual. The way she clung to Charles, threw her head back exaggeratedly at his jokes, pawed him... Molly knew then that Perfect Pippa and Charles had history. One she knew nothing about, and one Perfect Pippa was very much hoping to revisit if her behaviour was anything to go by. Molly wasn't blind. 

All night whenever she could Perfect Pippa manoeuvred herself to be in Charles' company. She danced with him a few times, talked about the 'old days', touched his arm, his leg, a bit too often, and consistently ignored Molly! What was more annoying to Molly was that Charles did nothing to actively put her off. He seemed, while not courting her attention, he was totally oblivious to it, as though this was expected behaviour.

Molly could understand why he accepted it though; she was everything Molly wasn't, just like Rebecca. Tall, blonde, thin, perfect and a Captain just like Charles. Beautiful as much as he was good looking. They would have made a superior couple anyone who saw them tonight could see that. She was a better match for him than this mere Private.

"She's just an old friend. That's all…. we go back a few years." Charles offered.

"She's more than a friend mate. Don't lie to me. I have eyes. She was ready to take you there and then at one stage, on that bleeding dance floor." She stormed past him into the kitchen, hunting out more alcohol. She wanted to forget this night, quickly, and her fail safe method was chilling in the fridge.

He watched her pour her wine and saw the fire still in her eyes, he pulled on the curls at the back of his neck, desperately not wanting this conversation to happen. He had thought tonight would have been fun, but as soon as he entered and he saw Pip he knew it was more than likely to turn in to a disaster. He was just surprised that Molly hadn't actually done or said anything to Pip's face and had held out her anger, for him, until they got home.

"Look she was someone who I got close to….before you…before my last tour. It was all over with Rebecca and I was lonely. Pip was a friend we hooked up a few times. That was all." He foolishly thought that was enough. That that was all he would need to say on the matter. He slipped out of his dress jacket.

"Hooked up. What the bloody hell does that mean?" She spat at him.

"Well you know Molly? At a do or two… she was there and we, well you know...…hooked up."

"You shagged her?" She was incensed. Never in all their time together had he ever mentioned that in between him and Rebecca ending had there ever been anyone else, casual or not.

"Molly." He walked over to her, to hold her.

"Don't you bloody Molly me. How many times Charles? Were there others?" She backed away from him.

"No of course not. I went on tour soon after. There was only Pip." He had the gall to look offended by her question.

She slammed down the wine glass, now empty and, in her eyes it very much needed to be refilled. "So exactly, just to clarify. How many bloody times?"

"Molly. It doesn't matter. It meant nothing. I love you." He went over to her but she backed away again and this surprised him. He could see that she was not only mad but she was hurt too. Her eyes were glassy and she was biting her lip in an attempt to control her emotions. He knew he had not been entirely truthful once before in their life together and that had ended in disaster. He couldn't let that happen again.

"Twice….I had sex with her twice." He answered turning his eyes to the floor, ashamed, not able to look at her any more. He knew she'd be hurt. He heard the kitchen chair scrape across the floor and guest she had sat down on it.

"Twice. And you never thought you should have said. Not once. Here's me thinking you'd been like a bleeding monk in between you and Rebecca ending and us. Whereas all the time you've been shagging around." She yelled at him.

He rose to his own defence at her harsh words. "Hardly shagging around. It was twice Molly. Both times very pissed."

"And that makes it alright then does it?" She mocked at him. He noticed that she now miraculously had made her way over to the kitchen door and looked like she was going to run.

"Come on Molly. Don't give me that. We've all made mistakes when pissed. Even you with Smurf." As he said the words, as they left his mouth, he knew he had royally fucked up…..again.

"Don't you dare? From day one, the beginning you knew about Smurf. It was once. A drunken fumble…once …..not twice."

"Yeah I know. What I meant was we've all done stupid things when pissed. That's all Pip was, a stupid mistake. She meant nothing. She means nothing."

"A stupid mistake…. twice." She corrected him. "Shit Charles. It's not that you shagged her. It's that you never said. You never told me. You lied to me again. Not only that, you knew she'd be there tonight and you didn't tell me. Let me go tonight, face an ex shag and everyone in the room knew but me. It was shit."

"I didn't think it was important. I never gave it a thought." He lied. He had, he was just too scared to tell the girl he loved that in between leaving Rebecca and meeting her, he had gone out of his way to get as many women into his bed as possible. Elvis and him played the game together, Elvis far more successful than Charles, with Charles' only success in all those months being with Pip, who to be honest wasn't the hardest to conquer, while ultimately Elvis had landed upon Georgie and stayed with her.

"Don't give me that. You just didn't want to say. Didn't want anyone to think bleeding Charles James wasn't as perfect as we thought. You lied and you set me up tonight as a fool." She turned and stormed up the stairs.

He could only admit that she was right. He had felt shame in the man he become after he'd left Rebecca, and ultimately he might have continued on a well worn path of destruction if he hadn't gone on tour, if he hadn't had his eyes and his heart opened, if he hadn't met Molly.

He climbed the stairs and saw his sleep wear thrown out on the landing, turning the door handle he heard her shout.

"You can bloody sleep in the spare room tonight. I don't want you near me. Just piss off Charles."

He reluctantly made his way into the lonely spare bed, vowing to himself that in the morning when she had calmed down, when she was less drunk, he would explain all to her….he would make it right.

As the sun beamed in though the curtains and woke him he knew that the night's events had definitely happened and that he definitely had drank too much. His head hurt and his mouth was foul and dry. He dragged himself out of the bed and went downstairs to the kitchen. Water, painkillers, coffee, and then he'd take Molly up the same, except with tea, in an attempt to receive forgiveness. He knew he had some explaining and making up to do. He genuinely could see things from her point of view. Nearly every one of his friends at the ball last night would have known about him and Pip, plus the way she was acting around him, as though she owned him, her constant touching of him, it was only going to end badly.

Charles had tried to brush off her attentions initially, watching all the time Molly's eyes darken in anger; he had tried to stay close to Molly when possible and to give her attention when he could. But it was a good night, alcohol fuelled, reconnecting with old mates, Molly was holding her own, and so he joined in, slipped back a little into old ways. Maybe he had been a little too friendly with Pip, but he could say in all consciousness it was innocent on his part.

He dreaded to think what Molly would say about them kissing. Well that is to say Pip kissing him. She had cornered him coming out of the loos and had pressed her body up against him and took his lips to hers and kissed him. It had taken him a few seconds to understand what was happening and then politely pushed her away, knowing that was not what he wanted. Grateful that Molly hadn't witnessed it, and that he had to tell her before some else did. So it was with slow reluctant footsteps that he climbed back up stairs and knocked on the bedroom door, ready to confess all his sins.

He was surprised to find the bed empty, and signs that Molly was gone. She had left obviously before he woke, and judging by the lack of clothing she had headed straight off to the gym. Her fail safe pressure release.

"I just don't get it Georgie. He knew she'd be there, but he still chose not to tell me about her. I felt a right idiot."

She had met Georgie in the café after the gym an S.O.S call to her girlfriend for advice about last night's events. She didn't want to go home. Her head was still all over the place... she needed to talk this one out. A first for her, in the past she had just ran, left, ended it, but not this time what her and Charles had was too special.

"Look Molly. You and Charles yeah it's special, new and that, but you have to appreciate he has a past." Georgie offered.

"I know Georgie I'm not bleeding stupid. I just thought he would have told ne about her that's all."

"Yeah well sometimes they are fools, and they don't. Sometimes it better though if they don't tell you. Sometime its best not to know." She smiled sympathetically to her friend.

"What do you mean?" This wasn't what Molly wanted to hear. She had expected her and Charles would always to be open and honest with each other. That's how it had to be if they were going to work.

"Well look at me and Elvis. Yeah?" Georgie replied.

"What about you and Elvis?" Molly asked curious now.

"Look I know he has a past, a hell of a past, and I guess so do I, but it doesn't stop me from loving him."

"Yeah but the point is there Georgie you know. I didn't. That's what's upset me." She replied.

Georgie sighed. "Yeah? Well there are lots of things that Elvis gets up to that I don't know about. Wouldn't want to."

"You don't mean?" Molly blinked at what she thought her friend was telling her.

"Yeah I do. He's not a saint. I mean look at him, he's gorgeous. We're away from each other for periods of time; he's bound to get girls throwing themselves at him. He's only human. I get it."

"You don't mean you're ok if he's unfaithful to you do you?" She gulped down a scalding mouthful of tea, the pain of it hurting her almost as the thought of Charles ever being unfaithful to her.

"I do. As long as I don't know. As long as he always comes back to me. As long as it's just sex, and I don't know. Its fine with me."

"Shit Georgie. You can't think that little of yourself can you? To be involved with a guy who you know cheats on you."

"That's just the thing." Georgie replied. "I don't know that he does. Suspect that he probably has, but it's not impacted on me, on us in any way, so I just let it go. Accept that there are things I can change and there are things I cant."

"Well that's not Charles. That's not us. He'd never cheat on me. I know it." She proudly answered.

"Look Molls. I know Charles he's a good one, and I really hope that he doesn't. But you have to face facts. He's a seriously good looking guy, position of power, you and him away from each other months at time. He's bound to get offers. He's bound to get lonely, be tempted. To play in his league you're just going to have to accept that it might happen in the future, and when, if it does, you're going to have to decide if you can live with it or not."

"Shit Georgie. No. that's not a relationship that settling. That's not me and Charles. He'd never. I'd never." She watched Georgie's eyes wide at her last statement. "Oh my God do you mean you have?"

"Well not, not totally, come very close, but I'm realistic. It's a hard job we do; sometimes we see things that we just can't un-see. Sometimes we just need that human comfort on tour. You know, I'm just saying that I'd never say never." She finished her honest statement and held Molly's gaze.

Molly was amazed. Her and Elvis were a couple, seemed very much in love. Yet here she was being told by Georgie that the odd transgression in their relationship was something that wouldn't be too big an issue, as long as it was discrete and a one off.

As Molly walked home she started to realise that although Charles had messed up by not telling her about Pip that was all he had done. She was before them, and looking back he hadn't really encouraged her the night before he was just a bit friendly drunk around old friends. He merely just treated her like all the rest of his friends; it was her who came on to him, followed him everywhere. She realised that for all the mistakes he had made about the situation, he was still her faithful Charles. Whatever they had was a million miles away from what Georgie and Elvis had. She realised that they had to keep working at their relationship, to make it stronger, to keep it exclusive, and that meant her not slipping out the morning after an argument before he woke. She was wrong to leave. She needed to hear him out.

Therefore it was with true contrition that both Charles and Molly greeted each other on her return. She could tell by the way he was moving cautiously around her that he was unsure as to how her mood was when she walked in on him getting dressed in the bedroom, appraising her with his quick gaze. He rightly was the first to apologise, and when he felt that he saw calmness in her rather than anger, he walk over to her and pulling her into him.

"I'm sorry Molly. You were right. I should have told you." He kissed her hair.

"Yeah you should have. I just felt a bit of a tit that's all Charles. Everyone knew but me." She wound her arms around his waist pulling them tighter together.

"I know." He kissed the top of her head again, and as she hadn't as yet pulled away he felt brave enough to continue and pulled her to sit next to him on the bed.

"Thing is Molly I didn't behave too well after I left Rebecca, and well I'm not too proud of myself."

He looked so ashamed, so hung over, but also he looked so relieved she was there.

"Go on then. Tell me now. I'm listening." She offered pulling herself to the top of the bed. Resting her back on the headboard, waiting for him to begin.

"I will. I'll tell you. There's just one thing I need to say first…it wasn't me. It was her…totally her….and as soon as she did I pushed her away...…and told her she was bang out of order." He stared at her wide eyed waiting for a reaction.

"What? What the hell did she do Charles?" She straightened herself up, alert, waiting to hear what he was to tell her.

"She came on to me…..cornered me….…didn't stand a chance….she kissed me." He indignantly cried out, jumping up from the bed, horrified at the words her was saying.

"She jumped you then mate, did she? Thought she would. She was after you all night. Can't believe you didn't see it." Molly started to snigger.

"Molly it's not funny. She kissed me...properly...on the lips….I had to push her off me. It was awful. I was shocked." He'd expected fireworks from her, rage, and few things being thrown. He did not expect her to be laughing, as she was doing now. Really laughing.

"Come here you pranet." She held her arms out to him and he grateful crawled into them.

"Molly? You ok?" He tentively asked.

"Course I am. Poor you. My brave Captain kissed by a girl." She continued to snigger into his hair as she held him in her arms.

"It was awful Molly. She was just there, I couldn't bloody move. I promise you I never..."

She interrupted him. "I know you didn't Charles. I know you wouldn't and that's why I love you…..cause I trust you 100%."

And with that peace and love was restored in the Dawes/James household.

The news was not a surprise but still was upsetting anyway. He'd know it had been coming for weeks. Choosing first not to say anything, then realising that as it became more likely to happen he had to tell her. 

It was now autumn and Molly and Charles' life together was ticking along with true happiness. No more dramas, no more skeletons emerging from any closets. They simply continued to get to know each other more, developing their relationship and their relationship with Sam too. Charles looked back over the past year since she had turned up on his doorstep with her cheeky 'missed me' with utter happiness. Sad that the news he was about to give her would change this. 

"When do you go?" She asked. 

He told her one night coming home from work. It was definite that he would be leaving on a humanitarian mission to Kenya. He watched her take the news in. Appreciating that she wasn't as surprised as he thought she would be, as he realised she'd watched the news reports just as avidly as he had. Both knowing that British Army aid and assistance would be offered. Both knowing that the events occurring in another continent far way would potentially have an impact on their lives. 

"Looks like next week some time. We'll be second phase in the relief efforts." He stood with his back resting on the kitchen worktop watching her continue to empty the washing machine. A simple domestic task that made his heart ache, knowing it was such normal sights as these he'd miss when he left.

"How long?" Her voice was strong but low. Being brave and supportive. But he could see the twitch to her jaw, the crease to her forehead, knowing she was struggling with her stiff upper lip 

"I'm sorry Molly. I'm not sure. Probable five or six weeks I guess. Should know more tomorrow."

"Ok. Weeks not months? You sure?" She dropped the washing onto the kitchen table and launched herself into his arms. "Give me a cuddle." She whispered. 

He complied so willingly, aware he'd been very physical at work that day, and must stink. In fact he knew he did when he could hear her sniffing him, but she never pulled away. She only snuggled in more. 

"I bloody hope so. From what I hear it's a bit of a shit hole we're off to. Think we're all being rotated in and out on short stints." He breathed her in. She was back at work, so close to getting her promotion, her Lance Corporal stripe working hard for it. She smelled of Army, medical rooms, dusty store rooms, but more than anything she smelled of his Molly. A smell he decided there and then he wanted to bottle and take with him when he left.

"Well that's good isn't it?" She pulled herself out from him and looked up. "So what do we do now? What do we need to get sorted for you?"

He grinned at her, as her mind switched from personal to practical Army in a short space of time. Knowing he had not only professionally to prepare for this tour, but he also needed to prepare himself personally too. 

"Yeah…ok…lots to sort out. Kits good to go in the main though. Need a few bits, but tonight I don't have to do anything. Tonight Molly it's about you and me."

"Oh that's nice. What you've got planned Captain?"

He grinned at her, grabbed her hand and walked over to the fridge. He handed her a bottle of wine, then swept around her to retrieve two glasses.

"Come follow me." He beckoned her by tipping his head to the side, motioning for her to head out into the hall way. "My plans tonight Private are classified, but I'll let you know they do involve a bath, wine and a very very early night. So come on double away Dawes. What you waiting for?" And with that he bounded up the stairs laughing as he heard her agreeing with delight as she hotly followed him. 

It turned out to be just a week until Charles left with his section for Kenya. Their time left was filled with visiting his parents, and having Sam to stay. As well as sorting out all his personal comforts that he could fit into his kit bag. It was a sad sight that the spare room had once again become a store and packing room for an Army kit. For another soldier who was being deployed, leaving the other solider behind.

Two sections were all ready to go and Charles was happy with their pre deployment preparation. He was happy, although cautious about their capabilities in the volatile and distressing environment they were heading out to. It was then to his great annoyance when his Medic had to pull out of the tour at the last minute due to personal reasons. 

Charles came home that night in a foul mood. Slamming the front door almost off its hinges. 

"Bloody hell Charles. What's going on?" Molly asked running down the stairs. She had just been slipping a little surprise into his Bergan. Right at the bottom so he'd find it a few days into the tour. She had planned for him to have a few surprises hidden in his kit when he was away. She smiled briefly at the thought.

"Fuck. Lost my bloody Medic. Three days to go and I have to find a replacement." He was quickly filing Molly in on the events when his phone rang. Holding one finger up to her he strode past her and shut himself alone in the kitchen.

She stood there in the hall way catching snippets of the conversation. She did not move from the hall way, feeling a bit guilty eavesdropping, but still continued. Very soon he came out of the kitchen with a huge smile on his face.

"God you look happy." She commented as he strode towards her and picked her up in a huge hug.

"That cause I bloody am. Lady Luck has been smiling on me, again. That was Beck he's found a replacement Medic. Just need to clear it with their CO, but it's a dead cert he reckons." Putting her down and running up the stairs to get changed from his work gear.

"So?" She shouted after him, running behind him as fast as she could. "Who is it?" Whoever it was he was very happy about.

Pulling on his jogging pants he turned to her, watching her watching him. A grin on his face, in the past several hours his deployment had gone from shit to potentially great. The news of his new Medic something he was very happy about.

"Well. They are top of the range Dawes. Experienced. Fully loaded and ready to go." He sat down on the edge of the bed watching her face registering her words. "Now does that fit the bill for anyone you know?" He teased her.

Molly's heart skipped a beat, she was sure of it. She was unsure what he was saying though. He was teasing her. Surely he wasn't saying that she was going to be asked to be his Medic. She played along, not wanting to foolishly guess wrongly.

"I've no idea. Wonder who it could be. Go on tell me more." She giggled sitting down next to him. "Whoever it is you're happy about it."

"Oh I am. It will be great. Well let's just say that SHE is one of the best, so I am lead to believe." He continued to smirk.

She blushed, excitement was building. "Really Charles…a SHE...….mmmmmm…I wonder. Whoever could it be?" She was struggling to take it all in. Here he was, she believed, about to tell her that she was his new Medic. "Go on Charles you're gonna have to tell me." She braced herself for the news.

He stood up in front of her and ran his hands through his hair, beaming at her. She jumped up to stand directly in front of him…waiting.

"I've only been given bloody Lane. How goods that? Georgie and I are off together on tour. She's my new Medic. Bloody lovely."

And with that he turned and walked off to add more to his kit bag, humming away as he went. He was very happy, caught up in his own world.

If he hadn't have been. If he had only just turned around he would have seen just how devastated Molly looked. How upset she was about the news. Not just because she was not going to be his Medic.

No it was more than that. Charles was off on tour with Georgie. A good Medic, a friend. But also someone who following their recent conversation was someone that she no longer trusted. Someone who had confided that she didn't hold with fidelity. Someone who now was being thrown together with Charles for weeks on end.

Molly was worried. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 12**

Five weeks. Five very long, lonely weeks. She had missed him. Worried about him. Wondered about him. Dreamed about him. Not a day, a moment went by that he wasn't on her mind. 

In all the time they had been apart, in those five long weeks, there had been little contact; by mail or by any other means. Molly had only actually received two short letters from Charles in all that time. Every day, each mail delivery disappointing her more as another letter didn't arrive. The two that had arrived contained messages of his love for her and a few queries into her life, but as usual, as was the Army way, they had said very little about what he was up to, how he was, or when he was coming home. She felt lost without him. Skype has been impossible, poor signals, little or no connections, so there hadn't even been any attempts, explaining in his letters it was just impossible. Both knowing that this was the case before he went, but both had been hopeful that something, anything, might have been possible once he was actually out there. 

Surprising herself, as she always did, she had written to him, often, frequently, whenever she had a free moment in her day. It was her way of keeping him with her, but as time went by she even doubted if he'd received any of her letters as he had never commented on any of her news in his. That was sad for Molly as this time she had a lot of news to tell him.

Shortly after he had left for Kenya she received confirmation on her promotion. She was now Lance Corporal Dawes and was very very proud of her first stripe. She wanted so badly to share the news with Charles. To see his face light up with the pride and belief he always had in her, but he was not there and she missed his happiness in her achievement. She missed sharing with him her success. A success that was down to her hard work, but also down to his conviction in her.

The other piece of news that Molly had to share, and was just as important to her, was that she had finally passed her driving test. Charles always said she could, and would, was always the shoulder to cry on each time she had failed. This time had been her third attempt, but not even that took her happiness away. So in a mad fit of independence and excitement she'd also gone out and bought a car, heavily guided by Charles' dad! It was a small gentle car, which George thought was perfectly suitable for Molly, and her bank balance. Again she was unsure if Charles had received her letters telling him of her success, but knew that it was one piece of news that he would catch up on as soon as she met him off the plane at Brize. She'd planned on driving there in her car to pick him up. Picking him up from the end of his tour, something they had never done before, as injuries and life had always got in the way. 

She arrived too early, she knew she would. The butterflies in her stomach going crazy. As soon as the sun had inched its way through her curtains, she woke from a fretful night of sleep, anticipating his return. It was inevitable, therefore that she was here way before anyone else. She sat there alone in the empty car for an hour or more, playing with her phone, checking her hair and make-up, flipping between bubbling excitement and worry about Charles' return, watching as it slowly filled up as the minutes ticked by.

Being early gave her time to think, which was not always a good thing. She thought back to two nights ago when Elvis had visited her. Up to that point she had, before his visit managed to put all doubts about Georgie and her morals out of her mind. Hers and Georgie's conversation conveniently filed away, and she had been doing well at burying it away, that was until Elvis' visit and his conversation. Then there was no avoiding it anymore. 

"So have you heard anything them?" He asked. Sitting on her sofa drinking coffee looking externally relaxed, but Molly could tell he was far from it. She'd worked with this man; she knew how to read him. His leg was crossed and hooked over the other, his fingers were constantly tapping his ankle, and he frequently shifted in his seat, scanning the room, keeping himself from having direct eye contact with Molly for too long. To Molly's practiced eye it was all evidence that this usually cool man was worrying about something, and that worried Molly.

"Nah. I've had a couple of letters. No calls or emails or that. Just the official return home e-mail. Charles warned me though there wouldn't be much. You?" She looked over at him, trying to gage his reaction to her words. 

"Nope. Nothing. Not a bean. A couple of letters you say? She left me a note before she went, brief thing, but that's been all." He sighed, and Molly actually felt sorry for him, for his loss. "I was away wasn't I... when she went? Haven't seen her for over three months now. Her deployment and my missions and that. We're like ships that pass in the bleeding night." He chewed at a finger nail, focusing his attention on that rather than the look of concerned on Molly's face. Three months was a long time for both Georgie and Elvis' egos to be left to their own devices. 

"Shit Elvis that's rough." Molly sympathised, remembering the hardships of their jobs, and the strains it can have on relationships. 

"Yeah. Miss her. Thing is Mols ...She don't do well that girl being neglected. She'll need a bit of extra attention when she comes back to make up for it. You know what I mean?" He had his typical brave face on, some Molly thought, would look at him and think he was being cocky, too self-assured in himself and his powers over Georgie, but not Molly she could see that he was worried. 

"You'll be pleased when she's back?" Molly offered. Her past conversation with Georgie weighing heavily on her mind now. Believing that Elvis' and Georgie's relationship was far more complicated, far more fragile that hers was with Charles.

"I'll be bloody please when I know what exactly she's been up to." He shot back quickly at her and then looked embarrassed by his confession. One he had never voiced out aloud until them. One that showed that maybe he didn't trust Georgie as well as he should. One that showed he had doubts about Georgie's loyalty.

Molly didn't know what to say. She was frightened that she may say too much, give her friend away. Expose a flaw in their relationship, but then she knew that probably Elvis already recognised it. "Well they'll be home soon." She offered. The silence needing to be broken between them, the subject was delicate, and Molly didn't want to dwell on it. She moved the conversation on. "You going to pick her up then?" She asked.

"Think so. You? Want a lift?"

"No. I'll make my own way there thanks." And a huge smiled broke out on her face thinking about Charles' return and hopefully his surprise at getting herself there under her own volition.

As the car park filled up she made her way into the terminal, putting all thoughts out of her mind that didn't revolve around how excited she was to see Charles again. She took stock of her surroundings, the first time she had ever met anyone off a flight. It was a strange situation, although there were faces she recognised she felt it was a very insular thing. Too many loved ones, too many friends, family members who were there waiting, all like her wound up, too anxious, too nervous to engage in polite conversations. All in their own worlds of expectations and anxiety. She spotted Elvis in the crowd, but even he kept his distance, head down after the brief initial acknowledgement of her wave, studying his shoes. Like everyone else preferring his own company at this waiting time went on. 

She saw him long before he saw her. Of course she knew she was there he didn't, she was scanning the arrival, looking for him, he wasn't looking for her! His beautiful face was tanned, she noticed that instantly, but she also noted he looked tired and troubled, his head was hung low and was creased with concentration. His responsibly to his men weighing on him until the very end, and she presumed this was the cause of why it was a Captain Stern Face who was walking towards her.

The instant he saw her he stilled with shock, not quite believing his eyes. She was such a welcome sight after all his weeks away. His face broke out into a wonderful smile. There was his Moly. She had come to meet him. He almost ran towards her, desperate to hold her, to press his body into the girl he loved, but wasn't sure he deserved it anymore, whether she'd welcome it. These past five weeks without her, five weeks in hell, with two section...with Lane... he wasn't sure about much anymore, except they had been the hardest and most testing conditions he'd ever experienced, and that guilt consumed him as he saw her standing there.

It wasn't like the movies. Molly saw him, and her feet were almost glued to the ground, she didn't run up to him, rush into his arms and throw herself at him. Instead they both slowly walked to one another, almost shy in each other's presence again, but as soon as they touched their shyness disappeared and they held onto each other in a bone crushing hug. Both forgetting about anything apart from their need to be with each other again.

"Hi." She mumbled into his chest, eyes tightly shut keeping the tears in.

"Hi you. God it's good to see you Molly." He kissed the words in to her hair, his voice quivering slightly, but still not releasing her in the slightest. "So fucking good." He meant every word.

They stayed like that, holding each other for what seemed like forever to Molly, but she didn't break his hold. Enjoying being possessed by him once again. It was only when Fingers and Brains came close calling her name in greeting did Charles loosen his hold on Molly to allow her to pull away from him to acknowledge her old friends, but still he held her.

After what seemed like an age they eventually started to walk to the car park. Charles constantly pulling Molly to his side kissing her head, almost with every step as though he was reassuring himself that she was there. As they were leaving Molly noticed Elvis and Georgie, and called out. Both gave them a brief wave, and Molly noted that out of all the section Georgie was the only one that Charles hadn't handshaked a good bye to. Wondering she look looked up to his face and saw a flash of something cross Charles' it as he watch Elvis and Georgie depart.

"So then Dawes, how we getting home?" He asked, pulling her back to him, his voice slightly strained in attempting to sound happy .

She pulled out some keys from her pocket and giggling waved them in his face, registering the surprise as he realised just exactly what it meant.

"I take it then you didn't get any of my letters?" She playfully asked.

"No, didn't get them?" He said straight away. Then realising how her smile was slipping he added quickly. "Oh God you haven't? You've passed?" He cried out and picked her up to swing her around as she nodded. "What a bloody clever girl you are Dawes." He beamed at her.

"I did write to tell you, course I did…but yes I finally have passed. Got me own car too. Your Dad helped me chose it." And she pointed out her pride and joy sitting in the car park.

He chuckled at the small car, a million miles away from his big gas guzzling Chelsea Tractor, but it was perfect for his girl.

"Well come on then. Take me home Private Dawes." He said as he threw his kit bag in to the boot and climbed into her pride and joy.

As Molly put the key into the ignition she turned to look at him, pride bursting from her face again. "Not Private anymore either mate. Try Lance Corporal."

"Shit Molly. Con…gra…tu…fucking…lations." He shouted at her with happiness, and pulled her in for a hug. He knew her promotion had been a long hard road, so finally getting the stripe was a big deal. He was so happy for her, but again that wave of guilt swept over him as she basked in his praise. He'd missed so much in such a short space of time in Molly's life, he'd seen things and had done things on that tour that caused him regret and always would. He gone out to Kenya with his life sorted, their life together sorted, but things had happened, things had changed and his world once again was changing.

She moved her head up to kiss him, a full kiss, something they hadn't enjoyed in front of everyone, but now they were alone and Molly wanted him. Disappointment flooded her when he kissed her back, briefly. Molly trying to understand, he was tired, adjustment to home life from tour was hard she mentally told herself. He needed to get home, relax, and then they would be back to being Molly and Charles again.

"Come on let's get you home soldier." She cheerfully said, and pulled away from him.. As she drove she watched him sink back into his seat, head tilted back and eyes closed. She was pleased he felt so relaxed with her driving that he was able to do that, though she longed for his conversation and company after being devoid of it for so long.

He woke as they arrived on their street, and as he entered the front door, he dropped his bags and stretched the sleep out of his body, making him taller and leaner than he was. Molly just stood there and watched, filled with happiness that he was home.

"So pleased you're home Charles." She said facing him wondering why there was a degree of awkwardness between them.

"Think I need a shower Molly. Then some kip. Is that ok?" He asked, avoiding her gaze. He didn't know what she was expecting, but he knew he stank, was dead on his feet and need to get his world and everything in it back onto some kind of track that he could deal with the inevitable.

"Of course. There's food whenever you want it. Made your favourite, just needs heating up." Her last words were said to his back as he bounded up the stairs heading for the shower. She wasn't even sure if he had heard. She just stood in the hallway lost for something to do. Disappointed and unsure if he wanted her to follow him, or whether he wanted to be alone. She decided on the later and went into the kitchen, taking his kit bag with her, to sort it out. On the top Molly saw her stack of her letters to him, each one unopened, untouched, all tied together in official Military tape. They had so much of her news in, so much she had shared, but here was the evidence, he hadn't read a single word of this, of her life without him, nor of her love for him.

Hours later dozing, day dreaming, on the sofa she heard his footsteps on the stairs. He made his way into the sitting room and he looked better, refreshed though still sleep fuzzy, the worry lines on his face almost gone. His tan line very obvious as he sat next to her in his sleep shorts and t shirt. His squaddie tan deep to his face, neck and lower arms, the rest of his body just lovely Charles colour.

"Thanks Molly" He said flopping next to her and half lying across her body. "I bloody needed that. Think I could sleep for a week." He offered.

She held onto him and stroked his hair. " You're welcome. Bloody missed you."

"God missed you too. It was awful not hearing anything from you, not being able to talk to you. Felt lost." He held onto her arms that were now encircling him.

"Yeah. Ditto. I've emptied your bag. Saw my letters to you. Take it you never got them?" She asked, hoping her delving into his kit back was ok.

"Didn't get one, not one bloody letter, all the time I was there, until we got on the bastard plane this morning. All the lads had received a few, but yours only came in a bunch this morning to me. Don't know why. I couldn't open them, couldn't read them in flight. Was scared to." He quietly said.

"Scared? Why scared?" It was odd that he'd received no letters from her while others had. Usually in these circumstances the Army were really good about mail drops, and it was the Medic who received the mail with their incoming supplies. On tour it had often been her job to hand out the letters, part of a Medic's role, looking after the teams mental and physically health.

"It was awful Molly. The worst. Then reading your letters after not hearing from you for so long, from thinking for five weeks there was reason why you hadn't wrote….well I didn't want to show myself up in front of the lads. So I put them away, and knew I'd deal with whatever when I got home." He confessed.

"Deal with what? Shit Charles. I did write…..lots…...you can see that. Did you think there was something wrong? That I wasn't writing to you on purpose?" She sat them both up so she could look at him.

"I guess part of me knew that there was a reason why I hadn't heard from you, but it was so awful out there. The worst. Things got out of control. Didn't know what to think most of the time. Everything got a bit messed up." He dropped his eyes focusing on the carpet. Using practiced distraction techniques to keep his emotions in as much of a check as he could. He then let out a huge breath and spoke the truth from his heart. " I needed to know you still loved me. I needed to know I still had your love, and when I didn't hear from you…"

"What?" She almost dreaded to hear the truth, the words that were next to be confessed. "What Charles?"

"I thought I was losing you…us. I love you so much Molly. Out there, away from you, in that place, it was easy to imagine. It hurt to realise just how fragile it all is. I don't want that Molly. I can't lose you, but I was so lonely, so alone, so scared. I just love you, Sam, so much and everything was so mixed up." He needed to ask. He was unsure, he still hadn't read her letters, he still had doubts. Five weeks without hearing from her. Five weeks of dealing with situations that broke apart his beliefs and loyalties. "Do you still love me Molly?"

She jumped into his arms, sitting on his lap, pulling him in close. Amazed that this confident Captain was unsure of her love for him, that five weeks without her had thrown him into doubt.

"Charles. I love you so much. Never doubt that. I wrote. I'm sorry you never got my letters, but I did write, and as soon as you read them you'll know how much I missed you…missed us." She turned his head up to hers and kissed him only to find his face was streaked with tears. "Hey…... I'm here its ok. You're back." She cooed and held onto him, helping to be his calm in the emotional storm he had worked himself into.

"It was just so hard Molly. Just so hard." He sobbed out to her, in her arms.

Hours and hours later as they lay in bed, calmed, fed, and slightly alcohol eased, they made love to one another. Endorsement of their continuing love. Everything that Charles needed, that physical contact with Molly that would reinforce the emotional love that she offered him, and everything that Molly needed, her Charles strong caring and back in control of his belief in them. It wasn't rushed, but slow. Like they were both for the very first time seeing each other, exploring the gift of each other's bodies. Nervous at their reconnection Molly's tummy flip in excitement and anticipation. That deep dark look of love that Charles' eyes held for her showed her almost as much as his love for her that his mouth, hands and fingers were proving too.

Afterwards, holding each other Charles felt safe and secure, something her hadn't felt for weeks, and he started to unburden his soul to her.

"It was the suffering that was awful.. the poverty. The children. The conflict just destroyed these normal people's lives. Shattered them. One event, one little thing and nothing they had would ever be the same." He rolled over to look at her, tracing her hair line with his fingers. "It got me thinking about you, Sam…how I couldn't live without you both. How you're both my world. Everything depends on you being there for me. Everything."

She kept quiet, and watched as he struggled with the memories. "It was only five weeks, but in those five weeks I saw how perfect my life had become, and how easy it was for me to fuck it up again. How easy it was for me to hurt you, to hurt Sam. I never want to do that." He rolled away from her and hid his face and was silent. When he eventually did speak a mask had slipped over his face, one of control, one he used professionally many times before, but one he had never with her.

"Charles? You Ok?" She queried, knowing there was something on his mind, something more that was eating him up. Something apart from what he saw, something he as yet hadn't shared with her. She wondered if he ever would.

He sat up on the edge of the bed and turned towards her. "I am now. I am as long as you'll stay with me. That whatever you'll stay." He half smiled at her, but the smile never reached his eyes, and didn't fool Molly. "Come on. I'm exhausted. Going to brush my teeth and then bed." He announced striding purposefully away. That was it, end of discussion, end of touching around the subject he had still yet to talk to her about. Molly knew to accept this, for now, and rolled over to snuggle down in the bed waiting for his return.

As she shivered outside the Guard House she again thought of Charles and Sam all cosy at his parents' house. It was Christmas Eve and Molly was on night Guard duty. Charles and Sam had long gone off to start Christmas without her. It seemed the sensible thing to do as several weeks after Charles' return home from Kenya this had been his first opportunity to see his son, and she knew just how desperate he was to do so. When Charles came home he only had a few days leave before being thrown back in to work, there was even talk of being sent back out again to the relief effort. A suggestion that Molly could see bothered Charles greatly. However it never happened, and Charles planned for the day he could see Sam again, begging Rebecca to allow him to have him for Christmas. A compromise was reached, but this put Molly slightly out of the picture for a few days as she was on duty until Boxing Day.

So she stamped her feet on the snowy ground of her camp, dealing with visitors and drunken soldiers, while Charles and Sam enjoyed hot chocolates and cakes hundreds of miles away. Eventually she would join them, with their promises to repeat Christmas day just for her. Standing there cold and tired she could have given way to a little bit of self-pity, but her facetime conversation with Charles and Sam earlier still made her feel good as they both seemed so happy. Charles had his smile back on his face, his special smile that she hadn't seem much of since his return home, and that was the best Christmas present she could have.

The day after he arrived home , as soon as he could bare to be apart physically from Molly, he read her letters. He read of the love she felt for him, something he knew, understood and trusted even more now he was home. She saw him calm, she saw him relax. He now acted as though his world and everything in it was starting to return back to normal. But it wasn't, and Molly knew, despite his efforts to pretend otherwise. There was something, something that he was keeping from her. It was a secret, and it was starting to eat him up. His sleep was disturbed, though he said it wasn't, dark circles underneath his eyes however were a tell-tale sign. She often caught him looking at her, frozen in his gaze, deep in thought, and when he realised she had notice he'd turned away from her without explanation. He'd even missed the section's Christmas night out, leaving Molly to go alone with his apologies. And then when some good news came, when he heard that Georgie was finally being transferred to his section permanently he hardly mentioned it to her or shared in everyone's happiness.

As she bounded up the steps to his parent's home the door was swung open by Sam and Charles, both rushing out to greet her in hugs and kisses. Both full of excited chatter and evidence of how they had missed her. She felt loved and happy. Happier she realised that she had felt for quite a few weeks. As she sat the in the kitchen drinking her tea, she realised that Charles was finally relaxed and comfortable, their time apart, these few days away from one another seemed to have brought him some calmness. She hoped whatever demon he had wrestled with, whatever had played on his mind was now over. And so their few days together as a mini family was wonderful, happy, and perfect, just like Charles always said things could be for them.

"You looking forward to the New Year's Eve ball?" She asked turning down the music and hunting in her bag for some crisps. Charles was driving them back to their home, after dropping Sam off at Rebecca's. Facing away from him she didn't see how he froze at her words. Almost instantly the atmosphere changed in the car, no longer happy, no longer comfortable. "Haven't seen Elvis and Georgie for ages." Molly continued, taking a few moments to realise the shift. "She never made it to the section's night out either. Lads thought it a bit odd."

He didn't answer, kept his eyes firmly focused on the road. So she tried again. " Charles? I asked if you were looking forward to the ball? It was good last year. I was thinking of asking Elvis and Georgie if they wanted to stay over again."

His face became pinched, focused intently on the road. He sat himself upright in the seat, stretching out his back. Hands gripping the wheel with determination. There was an expected pause, and eventually he had to answer her. "Look I was wondering if this year. You fancied giving it a miss and all that." He spoke, flat, neutral, cold.

"Yeah? Why's that?" She asked, curious, and puzzled by their sudden change of plans. Doubts, worries fear running through her mind.

"Just been there done that. That's all." He forced out a hollow laugh, an attempt at making light of his strange request. "Thought you and I could do something special. You know together. Just us." He twisted his face with effort into a half-hearted smile, trying to offer her reassurance.

"Ok." She replied. Hesitant, knowing that pushing it while he was driving was not a good thing. He was too fixed on his driving through the ice roads to say more, so leaving it now was her only option. She watched as he feigned normality, as what he had just said wasn't important. Her gut tightened. She knew, there was something he was not telling her, something big, and sooner or later it would cause them grief.

As soon as she got home though she turned on him, she needed to know. "What's going on Charles?" Since his return she was sick of asking him the same question. There was something going on, but he'd never replied, never told her. But this time it was different, she saw it in his eyes and followed him to the kitchen, both simultaneously sitting down, opposite one another, at the table.

He looked up at her, stared directly into her eyes, and she knew. Little things, but she knew. So many clues that she had ignored. But with that look, the look he was giving her, the look of fear at his confession, she knew. Her heart was starting to slowly break into pieces at the short period of silence that followed. She watched as be began to steel himself up, as he drew on his courage, as he began to attempt damage limitation with the words he was about to speak.

She fixed him a look. "Charles?" It was almost as though she was giving him permission to begin, to start at the beginning and to continue until she knew all, whether she wanted to know or not.

When he did speak he spoke quietly and slowly, considering every damming word that came out of his mouth. "You're right, I knew you'd know, that you'd notice. There is something. That last tour…..Kenya…..I'm so sorry. I never meant to. I don't know how it happened. One minute I was alone, and the next she was there, in my quarters. I still don't understand it all. How I let it happen. I'm so sorry." And with that he lowered his head onto the table,

She reached out to stoke it, an automatic response to comfort him, but pulled her hand back suddenly in realisation, as the words sunk in. He felt her pull away, but still didn't look up. "What happened Charles? Tell me. Who was it? Who came into you quarters?" Taking in deep controlling breaths, she folded her hands tightly in front of her, and remained sitting, waiting for him to raise his head and start speaking again.

He looked up cautiously, slowly. Weary of his next move, weary of Molly's response. He drew breath and began. His next words crushed her, but as he spoke them, in fact even before he spoke them she knew what he was going to say.

"It was Lane….. It was Georgie who came to my quarters."


	13. Chapter 13

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 13**

She just lay there stilled, alone in their bed which as always seemed too big without him. She couldn't believe what Charles had confessed to her. She felt numb, from the moment he told her all, told her everything all she could feel was… numb.

It was this that still surprised her; this wasn't the usual Molly Dawes way. Usually, in her past she had shouted, screamed when betrayed, but not this time. There had been no tears either, and now she lay there alone.

She thought about Charles, he was probably asleep downstairs on the sofa, falling into a tortured doze. Sleep bringing him, she guessed, a modicum of relief from reality. He was so unsure of his next move. 

She didn't know what to do next either. So she just lay there staring at their bedroom ceiling. Wishing that all she had heard could be unheard. That all the shit that was going to happen ... just wasn't going to. Their life up until now had been good. They had been happy. They had, she'd believed had the same plans, the same expectations, but now….well now everything was just going to be so messy. 

She thought over the past weeks that Charles had been back home. She had known something was wrong. That he wasn't right. She knew him too well by now. She kicked herself that she hadn't pushed him sooner, that she hadn't done something about her suspicions. His avoidance in meeting up with the lads, not talking about they had got up to on tour. Never talking about her, never mentioning Lane's name once, not even catching up with Elvis like he always did when they were both home. All, now she knew the truth, painful and obviously signs. Big bloody signs that should have given Molly an idea of what had gone on. 

However now she did know, she mocked in her own head, she didn't what to know, and she certainly didn't know what to do. Lying there alone she still felt some type of loyalty to him, that she should go down and see Charles. He'd be suffering too. His guilt was eating away at him, that she had seen these past weeks. No matter what Molly knew she still loved him and it hurt to see him troubled like this.

But she didn't go to him, couldn't muster up the courage, she lay there instead, alone. She was just so unsure what to say to him. How could this be sorted out for them? How could this wrong be righted? The truth was she angry at Charles on so many levels, especially that such a thing happened whilst Lane was in his command, but she knew of all the things she could say to him that was one thing that she would never say to him. If she was angry with him it was nothing compared to what she felt towards Georgie. Her so called friend, their mate, the section's Medic, who had ruined everything. Her actions were going to destroy so many happy lives. 

She played the night's confession over in her head again. It was earlier, they were still sat at the kitchen table when Charles told Molly everything.

He started slow and considered in his narrative. Wanting to explain it all as accurately as he could, in order to try to gain some understanding, sympathy from her. He'd said he'd been down. His mod low, evident to all around him. His first tour back after his shooting in Afghanistan, he still felt unsure of himself at times, of his ability to lead. Spending energy daily in trying to hide his concerns. But he stated everyone was unhappy in their roles out there, the task in hand was hard and demanding. It was almost unbelievable the suffering and desperation they were seeing daily in their fellow man. It hit them all hard and that connection with home, in whatever form was their way of staying anchored, keeping them going, giving them hope.

They all had mail, they all received news from home, but Charles hadn't, he brooded over this each day and knew he missed Molly more than he thought was possible. He continued to lead as best as he could, but felt he needed Molly in some form to offer him the support, the love, the reassurance that he now depended upon. Without her he felt a lesser man. He admitted this once, in a moment of weakness to Georgie. She listened, and seemed concerned. Stating that she too felt lonely, knew what it was like to crave someone. That the job they were doing only proved to her time was short and they both needed to grab any chance of happiness they could when offered. Later he said he'd felt foolish in confiding in her, feeling as though he'd over stepped the boundaries of their friendship. 

Charles, paused at this stage in his tale, looking at Molly, insisting there had been nothing improper though during this talk with Georgie. That had been his one and only moment of weakness in front of someone else. He felt it was his only failing as her commanding officer up to that point. As he watched Molly he needed her to know the struggle he had in being away from her. How much he craved her both mentally and physically. Molly remembered she had only sat there and listened. She offered no words of rebuke, nor of encouragement. She just let Charles continue. 

And so he did, he continued his story as they both sat there in the dim lights of their kitchen. He said days had passed. The desperate lives of those they were there to help continued. Duties carried out, tasks continued, yet still he heard no word from Molly. He worried about the absence of letters from her. His parents wrote. Sam wrote, yet she didn't. He was caught up in trying to remain professional, focusing on the task in had during the day. While at night alone, his worry about them, and her stated to consume him. This is why he didn't see it coming he guessed, admitting he hadn't seen any signs, so when it did happen it floored him and his guilt was eating him up with the knowledge of it. He knew straight away he had to confess, but just didn't know how too. 

As Molly continued and sat there and listened to him her anxiety grew, but she showed no outward signs. Inside her fears were bubbling over, on the outside she remained deathly still. The urge to run almost over powering her, but she hadn't. That was how she had coped before with betrayal, but that she realised was her past, and despite everything she was hearing Charles was her future. Those two worlds were miles apart. 

"I'm so sorry Molly." Charles had said moving to get them both a drink. "I panicked. Never been in that situation before. Never come across someone so blatantly promiscuous on a tour." He poured them both two large brandies. Needing the harsh strength of the liquor to carry them through. Needing the confirmation of the raw pain the drink would give them physically to counter act the mental pain they were going through. Still she sat.

"She wasn't even ashamed by what she was doing. Not even shocked! It was my fucking quarters and here she was tumbling through the door half naked, in the early throws of passion with one of the aid workers." He paused to take a drink, wincing at the burn it gave him. "She'd thought I was on night guard. Thought my quarters would be empty. Though it would be the perfect place to do it in!" 

He stood up and pushed himself dramatically away from the table, now pacing around. Pulling his hand almost viciously through his hair in sheer anger remembering the scene. "Not only was she half way to shagging some random bloke she'd only just met, but she was planning on using my fucking bed to do it in." His voice raised, starting to shout at the injustice of the situation Lane had put him in. 

Molly was dumb struck. Amazed at what Charles' secret was. There had been no indiscretion on his behalf, no betrayal. He was the wronged party. The innocent in all this. It was Charles, and ultimately Elvis who had been betrayed by Lane. Lane the section's Medic who had come to Charles' quarters for privacy, to be alone with another man, a casual acquaintance for meaningless sex. Using the privacy of Charles' quarters in her act of betrayal, and in doing so getting caught.

Molly felt for her poor faithful Charles. Not only did he feel anger and disappointment towards her as her Captain, but for his friend too. He had been put in an impossible position by Georgie. He now knew what Georgie was like, knew a secret that he knew he had to tell. But in doing so he knew it would break his best mates heart, cause Charles knew Georgie meant more to Elvis than any girl ever had before. 

"I'm so Sorry Charles." She moved towards him, and gently touched his free arm. Aware that for so long she had been distant from him as he had talked. Ashamed that she had doubted this man. "Shit. I weren't expecting that." She confessed; only to receive a snort from Charles as he downed his final mouthful of brandy. "What a cow. What did you do?" 

He refilled his glass and considered just what exactly she had expected him to tell her, but he knew it was pointless, because what he had confessed was hard enough to deal with. He continued with the events of that night. He told her he was utterly appalled by what Lane was doing; amazed when cornered she didn't even deny it. He had marched her right out of his quarters. Professional threats about her behaviour alongside personal ones brought Lane eventually to her senses and she left. She left Charles confused, hurt and missing Molly so much more. He couldn't even call her to talk it over. 

Signing and looking at Molly he continued that although nothing physical had happened between him and Lane. They didn't even touch in all the time she was in his quarters, after all it hadn't been him Lane was grinding her body against, Charles still felt dirty about what had happened, and betrayed. He craved his Molly to reassure him, to tell him that's not how she'd ever behave on tour. That she understood none of this was his fault, that he hadn't failed professionally again. That he was still worthy of respect as a CO in the British Army. He also felt ashamed and guilt washed over him. How was he ever going to face Elvis again? 

Molly believed his story. It was too close to a truth she had known about Georgie to be anything but the truth. She trusted Charles of that there was no doubt, ashamed of herself though. Wondering if she had only shared hers and Georgie's conversation all those months ago about her beliefs on fidelity, could Molly have prevented this. Could she have allowed Charles to look more closely for signs when they had been away? But she realistically knew she couldn't have done that. She couldn't betray Georgie and her confidences. Molly couldn't betray, not in the way Georgie seemed to find it easy to do. She watched Charles; she could see how appalled he was that Georgie could behave so wantonly. Shaking a firm belief in his moral code, and ideals he had about friendship. She could see how he knew that his friendship to Elvis was about to change, and she could see that it was that thought that was hurting him. 

She heard his footsteps gently tread outside their bedroom door, realising he'd hesitated before coming in. Testing to see if he was still welcome in their bed. 

"Charles? You coming to bed?" She shouted gently through the closed door. 

He opened it immediately. "Yeah. That is... is it ok? He asked, testing the invitation. 

"Course it is you pranet. Come here and get a cuddle." She smiled sadly at him, holding her arms open in much the same fashion her mother used to when she used to climb into her bed to have her troubles soothed away. 

He'd continued drinking after she'd went up and was slightly unsteady on his legs, wobbling taking off his clothes. But soon he jumped into bed with her, sinking into her arms. Holding on to her.

"I'm sorry Molly. I should have told you as soon as I got back. I just I guess worried. It could all look so wrong."

"It's ok Charles I believe you. Honest." She soothed his curls flat against his creased brow, remembering that from day one this had been a favourite thing for her to do to him. "Sorry you had to go through all that." 

"I know. Thank you." And he held on to her tighter. "I appreciate it. Do you think I failed?" He hesitantly asked his voice not so clear, as definite. She wondered if it was the brandy that caused it to falter, or his true lack of belief in himself at times. 

"No." She strongly answered back. "I know you. Know you're a good man, a bloody good captain. This isn't your fault. Georgie always had it in her. She has always figured no man, whoever it was, would never say no to her." She needed him to know that no matter what there wasn't room for him to doubt himself over this. This wasn't his fault, but the fault of another soldier who's moral compass was wrong. She would not let Georgie Lane destroy her man's recovering confidence. 

"Shit Molly you have that much faith in me?" Amazed at the strength in her reply. He pulled himself away from her and turned to face her propping himself up on his elbows. 

She looked at his amazed face. "Of course I do. I love you. Look Charles this is Georgie's mess not yours. She's the one in the wrong. Not you." 

"You're right." Holding her tiny hand in his, turning it over he said. "I do love you Molly. Thank you." Then he pulled her into her arms. "Thank you for believing me."

"You believed in me. Do believe in me….. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't." She kissed him on the forehead. It was simple to her; their love was based on trust and always would be. Something that was vital due to their jobs, to the times they would spend apart, to have utter faith and trust in each other. 

Her heart broke though as he sighed the words that had been torturing himself since his return. "Just what the fuck am I going to tell Elvis?"

. 

At some stage they must have fallen asleep. Because at some stage Charles had woken up and made them both hot drinks. Returning back to the room he woke Molly up climbing back into their bed, her rolling over into the dip his body weight created next to her. 

"You get much sleep?" She asked, nodding in acceptance at the tea he was holding out to her. She knew the answer, in fairness it was an utterly pointless question. He'd tossed and turned beside her all night, resigning them both to one long hard night waiting for the dawn to break. Acting as though sleep had been an option,, but both knowing it would be hard to achieve.

He smiled at her handing her drink, sitting himself up in the bed. His first words to her confirmed the anguish he was going through. 

"What the hell am I going to do? What do I tell Elvis?"

"Guess you tell him the truth." She answered simply, drinking the hot liquid, watching his face from the rim of her cup. She finished her mouthful, he still hadn't replied and so she continued. "It's what the fuck you're going to do about Georgie I guess we need to talk about."

"What do you mean?" He looked at her confused. 

"Shit Charles if you think you can let her continue as your Medic after this you're wrong." She spoke harshly at him. Amazed he hadn't worked out all the ramification Georgie's action were going to have.

"Yeah. I know." He admitted, both out loud and to himself truly for the first time in weeks. "I'm kind of hopeful that she'll take the decision out of my hands and transfer. Be too ashamed of wanting to work with me anymore." He replied. He hadn't reported her, hadn't reported her actions to anyone higher, but there was still time. The post tour write up still needed completion. Most of the sections had been done, but hers for obvious reason still was not completed. Charles finding it hard to commit her actions into words, onto her file. A permanent record of her stupidity.

"You're bloody hopeful there aren't you? I know Georgie. She's got one hell of a brass neck. She won't do anything that doesn't have something in it for her."

"Oh hell Molly. What a mess. What the shit did she think she was doing?"

"I can answer that for you." She scoffed. "She was doing what she wanted and had no thoughts for anyone else is my guess. Typical Georgie." Molly honestly replied. She smiled at the shocked look on his face by her words. Still naive about what Georgie was capable of even though he had been presented with the evidence. 

Molly jumped out of the bed. She'd made a decision. It was New Year's Eve. There was no big do for them to go to anymore, neither of them would be able to face Elvis or Georgie, so they needed to keep themselves occupied and happy. The only place she could think of that would make sure they didn't have time to think too much, have too long to dwell on their problem was at her parents' house.

A house at this time of year was full of noise, grief, laughter and loads of activity. Just the right place for Molly and Charles to enjoy themselves and forget their troubles for a while. To remember the good things they had in their lives. And that was exactly what they did. They spent the day and night wrapped up in the mad house of the Dawes family home. Continuing the season's traditions of eating too much and drinking too much. Spending their time happily peace keeping, playing games with her brothers and sister and constantly batting away comments from Nan and Belinda about wedding bells! 

Charles knew how to handle her family. Something she loved to watch. Amazed how easily he fitted into her chaotic brood, something she had never imagine at their beginning. He joined in and made himself part of the hyperactive unit that she loved, that she called her family.

He flattered Molly's mother regularly, something he was aware she had never been used to. He flirted with his Nan shamelessly, garnering her love and friendship which was no easy fete. And more amazingly he put up with her Dad, listened to his options and acted as though he really believed in them. Charles loved Molly and would do anything for her, but even he surprised himself as how over the year he had grown to really care for her family. His enjoyment in their company no longer a polite act he put on for Molly's sake. They had a place in his heart, not just to make Molly happy, but genuinely because they were part of her, her life, her history. They made and completed her, and he loved that she was willing to sharing it all with him. 

And so it was from a happy couple of days that they returned back late to their home. Their worries had been paused for a while and Molly hoped that it would stay like that for just a while longer. She loved this happy smiling Charles. The man with the eyes that's looked into hers with total love and devotion. The man who held her like she was precious and never wanted to let her go. The man, who, when cornered by her mother and gran and asked out right about the chance for wedding bells in the near future, didn't deny that there wouldn't be any! 

"Thank you Molly." He pulled her to him as she put the cups down. She knew he'd be desperate for a decent cup of coffee after two days of his parent's instant stuff.

"What for making you a coffee. No problem." She joked. "You can pay me back in kind later if you like." Teasing him with a smile.

"No I didn't mean that. I meant thank you for just being you. For just being there. For being my best friend." He walked over to her. He held her face between his palms, stroking her cheeks gently,slowly with his two thumbs, trying to convey his emotions to her through his touch alone. 

"That's ok." She replied, swallowing deeply, transfixed by his look. It held them together in an unbreakable bond. "It's what I'm here for. You're my best friend too you know." She quietly continued. 

He cocked his head to the side and replied, surprised. "Really? You've never said that before!" Delighted though that finally she had. 

"Haven't I? Well yes you are. Sorry." She looked down embarrassed under his intense gaze. 

"Never my love, never say sorry for that." And then he kissed her. 

Their kiss was deepening, their hands exploring under each others clothes, their passions arising, when suddenly the doorbell rang. Repeatedly, urgently, relentlessly.

"Who the f... is that?" Molly snapped as Charles went to answer it. Both annoyed at the interruption, but both sensing a slight unease at the urgency of it. She poked her head down the corridor just as Charles opened the door and in pushed the undeniable figure of Elvis. Striding past him in his usual way, not waiting for an invite. Molly was relieved to see he was alone.

"All right Charlie Boy? Mols? Happy New Year. Shit did you miss a good do last night or what." He spoke walking through their house, comfortable in their hospitality to know he was always welcome to treat it like his own home when visiting. 

He opened the fridge grabbing the milk and walked to the kettle. "A hell of a night." He continued. "Georgie would have come but she's still a bit hung over. Hasn't left her pit all day." He smiled at them then turned to see the kettle to boil. Too happy in his own good mood to notice how silent Molly and Charles were around him. 

"So it was a good night?" Molly spoke after moments of silence from them all. Trying to maintain a degree of normality. He turned and beamed at her and Charles.

"To right. Now you're might gonna need to brace yourselves." He joked, mocking Molly's diction, giving them his full attention. "I've some news." He announced.

Molly moved herself to Charles' side. Preparing herself for the revaluation, fearing the next words from Elvis' mouth.

Elvis made sure he had their full attention. Taking Charles' silence and stillness as him being focused on him, attentive to what his friend was going to tell him. 

"I only went and asked Georgie to marry me. Didn't I? She only went and said yes!" He finished off his words with a flourish of his arms. His happiness spilling over in each and every movement.

Time stood still for Charles. Here was his friend bursting with happiness. Telling him his wonderful news. Telling him he was going to marry a woman those only weeks ago Charles had caught her trying to bed another man. He rubbed his hands across his face, delaying. Cautiously stepped forward, approaching Elvis with care. He knew he had to tell.

"Elvis mate. We need to talk." He spoke simultaneously as Elvis. 

"What's going on Charlie Boy? Why the face?" 

Both just stared at each other. Molly broke the tension these two had grown between them. Elvis confused at how distant his best mate was about his news. Hurt by his lack of response, lack of happiness for him. And Charles torn, knowing he had to be cruel to be kind and tell Elvis all. That he was going to hurt his friend.

"Look." She said. "You two need to talk." She turned to leave, first squeezing Charles' hand and weakly smiling at him as she left. Closing the door behind her, as she did she saw Elvis and Charles move closer to one another, standing straight and tall, almost squaring up to one another. The atmosphere was unfriendly and they both were reacting in the alpha male roles the Army had taught them to adopt when a threat loomed ahead. 

She remained in the sitting room, pacing, for what seemed like hours, but she guessed it was only five or ten minutes. She heard nothing for a while, then slowly voices became raised and anger spilled out from the sounds she heard. Suddenly the kitchen door burst open followed by Elvis storming down the hall way. Shouting behind him just before he opened their front door. 

"This is bollocks Charlie Boy. Utter bollocks." He then caught sight of Molly and moved towards her. "Have you heard this…this shit he's saying about your mate? About my wife to be? You need to sort him out Mols. There something wrong with him."

Elvis then turned, left their home and slammed the door angrily behind him. 

Molly turned shocked at how aggressive Elvis came across and walked back to the kitchen to see an ashen face Charles sitting with his hands pulled behind his head, staring. 

"What happened?" She stupidly asked. Unsure if he had heard her. He seemed in a trance like state, not acknowledging her presence. 

Eventually Charles slowly looked at her, as though he was walking up. Blowing a huge breath as he went. Shaking his head over and over again.

"He didn't believe me!" He spoke with utter shock. "He thinks I'm making it up. Fuck knows why, but he does. He didn't believe me!" 


	14. Chapter 14

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 14**

He sat nervously waiting. It had been over three months since they had last met. Their last meeting was full of anger and accusations, and since then there had been no contact what so ever. These three months were the longest they had ever been out of touch with one another. Even when they both had been on tours there was still always the odd text, odd message sent down the line. Their friendship was strong, or at least it had been before it was broken by Georgie.

Charles was surprised when the text came, it hadn't been his idea to meet up. Although to be fair he had tried over the months to make contact, this was the first time Elvis actually replied to a text and suggested they meet up. Charles couldn't say no, even though his time at the moment was more precious than usual. So here he was waiting in a coffee shop somewhere in London, neutral ground, waiting for his estranged best friend to meet up with him.

Charles and Molly had travelled together into London, but he came here alone. She chose shopping over this meeting. She had lots to do, they were both visiting her family for a few days as she was being deployed again. It was another short tour, more teaching Medics in Afghanistan, but it still meant that they would be apart from each other for three months. So Charles almost resented the time he was having to take out from being with her to meet up with Elvis. Charles' mood not getting any better as Elvis was late, a well practiced habit with him, one Charles was used to, but today it irked him somewhat.

Eventually without even looking up Charles knew that Elvis had arrived. The atmosphere in the coffee shop had changed. There was something about this loveable rouge, his looks his manner that always drew attention to him wherever he went. People stopped and stared, appreciating his good looks, the general swagger about him.

"Charlie." He spoke as he got closer to Charles who stood up to shake his friend's hand. Although the handshake was accepted Charles noticed the lack of the full use of his nick name or the warmth in his greeting.

"Elvis. It good to see you mate." Charles spoke back. They both sat down, warry of each other. Unsure where to begin. Charles missed Molly, she always knew what to do, what to say in these types of situations, it was one of her many gifts now she had grown out of the 'open your mouth and say anything' phase she had been in when they first met.

"Yeah. I guess. You too." Elvis eventually replied getting his coffee order sorted first. He then turned and saw the resigned sadness in Charles' eyes and added. "No really mate it is..…good to see you and that. Sorry I've been a bit shit and that." The best apology he could offer.

"That's fine mate." Charles smiled back, never wanting to hold a grudge. "You good? Doing Ok?" He had genuine concern for his mate.

"Yeah..…well I am now… I guess… I think. Been a few odd months really. Getting my head around stuff…you know." Elvis answered.

"Yeah. I guess I know. It's fine." Charles tried to relax, sank back in the chair so he looked at ease, but his fingers still drummed the table showing his continued nerves. There was an unnatural pause between them. "So?" Charles hazarded.

"Well. So. Yeah I guess then you're still not in touch with Georgie then? You haven't heard?" Elvis unsure how much his friend knew and how much he wanted to tell him. He was still hurt, embarrassed even. "Haven't seen her for weeks now. It's over. Thought it was for the best."

"Sorry mate. You do know that don't you. She transferred out within days of coming back after her leave. All dealt with above my head. Haven't seen or heard from her for months."

"Yeah. She cited family trouble. Got moved to Manchester barracks. Far enough away from me I guess. Best that way." He looked out the window to appear half hearted in what he was saying, but Charles could tell his friend was wounded.

"I'm sorry Elvis you know that. I should have seen it coming. Should have sorted her out before that happened." He offered in way of yet another apology. His guilt, rightly or wrongly still played on his mind.

He was surprise by Elvis' reply, not expecting it to be so harsh "Yeah. You should have. You were her CO for fucks sake Charlie." He was angry at the whole situation. He had lost Georgie, didn't know who to blame for it all going wrong, but here sat Charles in front of him, and he was an easy target.

"You're right I guess." Charles accepted the charge laid against him. "I was just so caught up in my role. First time back and that. Was second guessing myself, thought I was doing a good enough job until that happened, and then realised I'd taken my eye off the ball in some areas."

"And that's when the shit happens isn't it Charlie. When you're distracted. Shit happens like….oh I don't know….someone getting shot… a mates girl trying to shag anything with a pulse." He spat back, surprising himself that the anger of these past three months still hadn't receded in any shape or form.

"That's not fair mate." His words stung Charles, really stung. The situation with Lane wasn't anything like the Smurf one was. After months of listening to Molly he finally believed what Georgie did wasn't on him, but was on her and her alone. He finally got that.

"I know you're right. Shit sorry mate. I'm still a bit you know…raw and that."

"Guess you are." Charles couldn't make his friend suffer any more. He'd lost a lot. He'd lost something he cared about for the first time ever. "So what now?" He asked.

"Off out again in a few days, then who knows. Thing is mate I still love her." Elvis' last words surprised Charles.

"I guess you will."

"Not sure if we've done the right thing." He admitted.

"Really?" Charles was amazed. He knew Elvis was in deep with Georgie, but always thought his mate with his play boy heart would have been able to bounce back after they hadn't worked out. Yet here he was telling him that wasn't the case. "You can forgive her then?"

"That's just it... think I can. Think I have. Nothing really to forgive though is there?" Elvis answered back, semi smirking at the half hidden look of horror on his friend's face.

"I didn't know what she said Elvis but what I saw…well there was definitely something going on." Charles firmly mentioned, he didn't want his mate under any misapprehension.

"Yeah, but nothing did. Besides not sure how I'd feel if it had. Its only sex and it's not as though I've been a bleeding monk now have I?" Elvis clarified his thoughts.

Charles knew exactly that. There had been over the years numerous times when Elvis had played women off against each other, but he thought things were different with Georgie. Though truth be told he had a very strong suspicion that was not the case. Once a player, always a player Charles thought. They were good friends, but totally the opposite when it came to women.

"So what you saying. You'd have her back?" Charles was amazed.

Elvis sat forward, arms on knees staring directly at Charles. "No ….I mean…I don't know…..I just miss her. Never felt like this before. You know as part of me is missing." He ran his hand through his hair frustrated in the new emotions he was struggling with. "I still love her mate." He quietly admitted.

"Right. Is that enough though? Do you trust her? Can you?" Charles asked, never once believing this day of playing agony aunt to Elvis would come.

"I think it might be. Just don't know. Just don't know anything anymore. All I know I'm miserable without her." He picked away at empty coffee cup and smiled miserably. "Anyway enough about me. How's you?"

"Elvis?" Charles replied, unwilling to let the subject drop. "That no way to be is it? You deserve something better."

"That's just it mate… I think she was my better, what I deserved. Anyway it pointless. I'm off at the end of the week, for God knows how long. So it's a moot point at the mo. Couldn't get her back even if I wanted to."

Elvis wasn't for continuing his heart to heart any longer, he'd shown his vulnerable side for long enough, and steered the conversation away from Georgie. Charles reluctantly agreed to the change in direction. The general chat between these two friends becoming less polite and more easy, both slipping back into their easy banter of friendship at an alarmingly fast rate.

"So when's Mols off then?" Elvis asked as they were leaving the final pub of the night. Their afternoon coffee had long moved onwards to and evening meal and several pints. It was a good old fashioned catch up in their usual way, a much needed one too; all that was missing from days gone by were these two old friends being on the lookout for ladies. This time, for the first time in a long time both their hearts were very much taken.

Charles sighed, his afternoon and evening with Elvis enjoyable, but Molly was never off his mind. Both frequently texted one another, Charles hoping that Elvis didn't notice just how much. But he had and mocked Charles at every chance he could get about still being a soppy git when it came to Molly. Something Elvis felt very envious about.

"Ten days. Going to miss her mate. Still find it hard to be the one who is being left, instead of the one doing the leaving."

"Enjoy her while you've got time together. Something I guess you never did with the Ice Queen now did you?" Charles laughed at Elvis' nick name for Rebecca. "Look after her Charlie Boy." He added, pulling him in to a final good bye hug before they set off on their separate ways. Neither of them actually saying good bye to each other. Something they had made a tradition out of since their friendship began, both life styles being too dangerous at times for good byes was their belief.

"Oh you stink mate." Molly moaned as he climbed unsteadily into bed next to her. They shared a double blow up mattress on her old bedroom floor whenever they stayed at her parents' house. Never the most comfortable, but it was a better option than sleeping apart, Charles downstairs on the sofa, while Molly slept upstairs.

He snuggled tighter into her. The alcohol making him sleepy and not too offended by her statement. He guessed he must stink; he'd certainly drank plenty on his session with Elvis, and had partaken of a curry to boot. "You know you love me though." Was his slightly drunken reply, moving his cold hands underneath the t shirt of his she always wore.

Giggling at his half amorous attempt and being caught off guard by his cold hands, she wriggled closer into his body. Garlic naan and beer smell forgotten; she needed to feel close as she could to Charles as often as she could before her deployment date.

"Hope you hold your drink better next weekend. Or else you'll show yourself up in front of the section again." She was expecting some type of reply at her dig of his ability to hold his drink, but all she was greeted with was soft snores that she knew were going to grow louder and louder as the night went on.

It was days later that saw Charles back in a pub, being encouraged to drink again. If he was honest he still felt a bit green around the gills from his night out with Elvis, but wouldn't show it. This was a special night for Molly, for his section. Their last get together before she went off, as well as their last get together before they too were being deployed. It was only twenty four hours after Charles had made his peace with Elvis that he received communication that his company were off to Nepal to help with an earthquake clear up. His deployment shorter than Molly's but due to timings they would both be away at the same time. Hopefully coming home within days of each other afterwards.

So tonight was all about wishing Molly well, and Charles and the rest of two section bonding with their new Medic and Sargent. Molly had kept in very close contact with several members of the original two sections, Brains, Fingers and Dangles her closest mates. She frequently saw them or kept in touch via WhatsApp. Always privy to their gossip, their love lives and general basic dramas. They used Molly as a surrogate sister, a sounding board to all their troubles. None of them had any trouble in separating her from their friend, who just so happened to be their CO's girlfriend.

It was obvious then to all who knew this bunch of friends that they wouldn't let her go without a bit of a send off, and any excuse for a good night out. Though as Molly watched her old section and Charles she could see that they were nervous too. Their tour had a large degree of uncertainty to it, that alongside they were taking two unknown additions with them on tour.

Sargent King, or Kingy, fitted in straight away. Charles instantly liked him and respected him. He came to the section with bags of experience and a glowing report. They lads saw him as fair and dependable. Someone they took to easily. Sadly though for their Medic his transition into the section was not as easy. Ruby, was his name and he was young. He was naive, and it was his first tour. Physically not as beefed up as the rest of the boys, he seemed constantly lost in their physical presence alone. He showed a degree of nervousness that the others found unsettling. His anxiety at his first posting and deployment was not helped in the slightest as the lads kept telling stories of their last but one Medic who was brave and had won the MC. Ruby visibly flinched when he learned that she also happened to be his new CO's woman.

"So Mols." Fingers shouted across the room, carrying a tray of shot for them all. "When's the wedding?"

"Funny." She shot back and watched Charles who was seated at the other side of the bar in deep discussion with Kingy. He pretended he hadn't heard Fingers' shout, but knew he had by the small smile that turned his beautiful lips upwards. "Take it you've still not found yourself a woman then?" She replied. Hitting him where it hurt, right in the middle of a very dry spell for him where women were concerned.

The rest of the section started to laugh at Fingers expense, grabbing their shots off the tray.

"Seriously though Mols. You and the Bossman, been a while now hasn't it?" Brains asked a little bit more quietly. Wanting a conversation with her about it, rather than just wanting to take the piss. She knew he had something on his mind.

"Yeah coming up to two years." She smile at Brains then turned her head to see Charles who somehow had picked up that he was being talked about, he looked over and smiled at her. "It's good."

"Think he'll make an honest woman of you then Mols?" Brains was the romantic, she knew there was no mockery in what he was asking.

"I don't know? We're good as we are. Settling down is a big step." She admitted. Recently she had been thinking about life with Charles, how it couldn't get any better and she was worried that marriage may upset things.

"I'm thinking that Sarah might be the one for me Mols." He bashfully stated.

"Shit Brains. That's great. Are you going to ask her to marry you?" Molly was happy for Brains. He'd met Sarah while actually visiting Charles at Hedley court. She was a PT instructor, who Charles hated with a vengeance as she was strict but got results. He'd grown to like her since. Her eyes were always on the prize, and it just so happened that after several times of bumping into Brains during visiting hours he was the prize she was after. They were an unlikely couple, it was sweet however to watch them together. He doted on her, she despite her hard image allowed him too, always pretending she didn't want him to, but always loving it just the same.

"Probably. When we get back. I don't know thought we'd get engaged for a bit and then see." He beamed at her, the thought of settling down becoming more and more attractive the more he thought about it.

"Well Congratulation then mate." She pulled him into a hug, only to get cat calls from the rest of the section.

"Aye, aye. What's going on here then?" Dangles and Jacqui moved over to where they stood, their arms wrapped around each other. Here was another couple, another product of Molly's first tour. Both falling for each other when Jacqui replaced her on her R and R. Their relationship though unlike hers and Charles' had be public knowledge from day one, and was still going very strong.

"If you must know. We talking about futures and stuff. Being grownups. Settling down. Starting a family."

Jacqui spat out. "What kids and that Mols?" Whatever Jacqui was, and she was one of Molly's best mates, no one could ever accuse her of being maternal. The three of then burst out laughing at Jacqui's horrified look, and soon the conversation moved on.

As Charles and Molly walked home for the pub hand in hand, both a little bit high from the company of their friends and the alcohol they had consumed, they agreed it had been a good night for them both. Both were now in very happy moods. 

"So I had an interesting conversation with Brains tonight." Molly confessed. 

"Yeah? What about?" He teased, he'd heard some of their conversation and wondered if she would ever mention it. 

"Mmmmm." She looked sideways at him, knowing she was being teased. "He was talking about him and Sarah. Thinking about getting engaged." 

"Wow. That's big." 

"He reckons that you can have it all. You know marriage and a life in the Army." She replied. 

"Yes. Some do it well. Look at Kingy. He has both. Wife, family and a career. Guess you just have to find the right one." Charles answered. 

"And have you?" She teased him. 

"Found the right one? I reckon I have." He truthfully replied. 

"Really?" She shot back at him. She had been teasing to a small degree. Hadn't expected such an honest answer 

"Yeah. Does that surprise you?" He was stunned by her reaction, even after all this time she still sometimes didn't feel as though she was good enough for him. 

"No…. I guess thinking about it….. I guess it doesn't. Just never thought we were ' _there_ '. You know in that _'place'_!" She held his arm close to her making sure he still knew she was there for him. 

He tipped his head back and smiled to the heavens. 

"Molly I've been in that _place_ , with you, since the very beginning." He turned his head to look at her expression. "Just knew you weren't. That you needed some time and that's ok. Just hope that one day you'll be ready too." 

She pulled him into a stop, looking up into his brown eyes. "Really?" She again asked. "Since the beginning?" Then watching him nod his head, cautiously she added. "Sorry. I don't know if I am there yet, you know in that place, but I'm getting there honest. Maybe just a little more time?" 

He bent and kissed the tip of her nose. "Just let me know when you are ready Dawsey and you'll make me the happiest of men."

She beamed back at him, suddenly so wonderfully happy. One day, not today, not next week but one day she would be ready and then he'd ask her the question that would make her so happy to say yes to. She skipped over to the closest lamp post a spun herself around on it, childlike in her happiness. All the time looking at Charles and delighting in his totally carefree laughter. 

"So you promise to take good care of yourself?" He held her close to him. As close as he could. They were surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the departure lounge, people coming and going but it mattered not to them. They needed to hold on to their last few moments together.

"I promise." She meekly replied. All her energy was going into stopping herself from crying 

"Come back to me?" He pushed her away from his comforting chest needing to see her as he uttered this plea. 

"I will. Don't worry." She ran her hand over his face and jaw. "I love you." 

"I love you too. Now go on. Piss off Dawsey. Go get your flight and be brilliant." He kissed her one last time. Then watched her lift her heavy kit bag and Bergan and walked away from him. To join her section, her family for the next three months. 

As he watched her go he thought how it would be just two weeks before he'd be back there again. Doing it all again, this time he'd be the one leaving. His parents and Sam at their insistence would be the ones waving him off. As he saw her disappear into the secure lounge he wondered just how long they could both keep this life up. Them both leaving, going off without each other. Disjointing their otherwise perfect lives. 

Once it had been all he had wanted, but lately, since Molly had come into his life he was starting to reconsider things. His relationship with Sam was firmer, stronger. He saw a lot of him and that was mainly because Molly had welcomed this young boy into her life almost as much as she had welcomed Charles. He smiled when he thought how stupid he'd been at the beginning. When their feelings hadn't been acted upon and he was scared to tell her about Sam and his failed marriage. Worried it would all be too much for her. He now knew he should have been honest. There was little that worried his Molly anymore, and kid and a messy divorce was certainly not one of those things. 

His two weeks at home past quickly. Free from any other distractions he was able to get himself physically and mentally prepared for this tour to his satisfaction. Due to the conditions Molly was teaching in, and her accommodation being in a hotel in the centre of Kabul they we able to Facetime every day , twice a day most days, and texted frequently. Her teaching role was relaxed, and civilised; they were very much guests of the country and treated accordingly so. This was a million miles away from the conditions he was heading into. They both knew these two weeks of almost constant contact would soon end when Charles got to Nepal. It was therefore even more precious to them.

Nothing prepared him for what he saw as soon as they reached the first missionary out post. Utter destruction, suffering and an almost unrecognisable level of existence these poor people were having to endure. Daily aftershocks putting back the relief effort frequently. Slowing down the work, the reconstruction the rebuilding the Army and others were trying to do. 

No one had anything . From the aid workers, to those they were trying to help, and to the Army and construction crews. Everyone had the bare basics to allow them to survive. 

This time they all had been prepared for the conditions. There were no mail drops for any of them, no contact with home apart from a five minute call per soldier every fourth day, and even then lines out were patchy and failed. But his section and the rest of the platoon took whatever they could get. A few frustrating minutes of talk or a few good seconds of news from their loved ones was better than anything, because what they got was so much more that the locals had. 

"It's every time we get one area cleared an aftershock seems to come. Then it all goes down like a house of cards." Charles moaned to Molly during one contact episode. 

"You're being careful aren't you?" She was worried. This wasn't an enemy they could see, could fight. They were in the hands of the Gods and trusting hundreds of years of British Army survival and safety techniques. 

"I am. But hell Molly I'll be bloody happy to get back to see you. Three more weeks." He changed the subject quickly, their time was being eaten up. "So you thought any more about my proposal, my offer?"

She laughed at the cheeky tone to his voice, he knew very well the meaning of his question. "I have and the answer is…yes."

"Great." He laughed back. "Sam will be pleased."

"I know. I am too. So I'll book the flights and hotel when I get back. I texted Rebecca and she's ok with the dates too."

"I don't care where we go Molly, anywhere, my treat that was my offer. All I want is to take you and Sam away for a two week holiday, where we get to sleep in proper beds…together. And the food does not involve me boiling a kettle to re hydrate it. Don't know how man is meant stay fit and healthy on the crap we have to endure here." He moaned. 

She felt guilty as her meals were all freshly made in the hotel, were plentiful and delicious. Something she noted she'd have to think about cutting back on if she was going to be wearing her bikini for two weeks. "Talking about health, how's Ruby going on?" She asked trying now not to think just how slow the next three were going to drag. She was missing him mentally, always did, but this time she actually physically ached for him too, embarrassingly so in a way that she hadn't before. 

"He's doing ok. He's not you though. It's tough for him. There's such a lot for him to do. It a big ask for someone so green."

"He'll get there. Just make sure the lads include him. Jacs was saying Dangles and them keep playing tricks on him. Be careful there. I know they are my mates but the can be idiots at times." She laughed at her advice wondering when she had become so sensible. 

"I will. Thanks. Love you. Got to go." And the line went dead. They had had their time, there were no exceptions for anyone. Rules were rules, regardless of rank. She was sad though as she never had time to say goodbye to him or tell him that she loved him. Something they always did. 

Molly knew she was lucky with this tour as the conditions were good, she was doing something she loved, and her best mate Jacqui was with her too. In the hours that they spent missing their men they both used each other for the moral and emotional support, to get them through the loneliness. They shared everything, with each other. Giving space when it was needed, and in equal amounts support when that was needed too.

The first thing that they knew something was wrong was when Jacqui didn't hear from Dangles the next week for his allotted timed call. Molly reassuring Jacqui that it was probably something to do with the lines being down. But still understandably Jacqui worried. 

Initially it didn't prey on her mind until the day after when Charles missed his allotted time to call her too. She tried to go on as normal, but as the minutes turned into hours and the hours turned in to days, both of them were force to admit something wasn't right. They pleaded, petitioned anyone who would listen in an attempt to gain information, but nobody had news. And that was the way it stayed, both hopeful right up to the very moment Molly saw Elvis walking into her class room. Something was terribly wrong. He shouldn't be here. She was in Afghanistan and although she knew he was 'in the area' so to speak he had no right to be in her world , in a make shift classroom in a comfy hotel. 

She rushed up to him. Rank, propriety, reputation all forgotten. 

"What is it? What's wrong? It's Charles isn't it." She wailed at him. Surprised she got the words out at all. 

He gently took her arms in his and lead her to sit down. The pupils in the classroom rapidly disappearing, knowing that the situation demanded privacy. 

"Sorry Mols….it's Charlie. He's gone missing." With these words, despite Elvis still talking, her world broke, her everything disappeared from underneath her and went black. 


	15. Chapter 15

Everything Starts Somewhere

Chapter 15

Molly sat staring. That's all she could do. It took no effort. She had nothing left to give. On her right George and Mary quietly sat and held one another, sharing their sadness. Molly had no one, her Charles, her support wasn't there, and at that moment she had no one. So she just sat alone in the relatives lounge at Brize, surrounded by so many people who were all wrapped up in their own thoughts, their own memories.

This small, grey, sad room was where all the families had been told to gather, to wait. To wait for the plane that was to bring the lucky, and the not so lucky ones back home to them. It was unfair she thought how in the same room there were relatives of the survivors and well as of those of the dead. Something that the Army hadn't given too much thought to she guessed, not investing too much into such an important but small detail. Conversation was limited to small groups, no one reached out to others they didn't know, everyone respectful of each other's boundaries. Besides there were only so many times she guessed people could offer sympathies. All there were caught up in their own situations, some even embarrassed as to how grateful they felt that it was not their loved one that was coming home in a box. 

The atmosphere was difficult to tolerate, almost as much as the entire situation was. As difficult as everything had been since the dreadful day the news first came through. No one spoke loudly; hushed mumbles were all that could be heard mixed in with an ever constant sobbing. A sound that she had become very accustomed to over the past few weeks. Molly tried to be brave, but found she just couldn't, and she had cried on so many occasions, so many times. Her everything had been changed. She missed Charles. 

Opposite her sat Jacqui chewing her fingernails, jiggling her legs up and down. Unable to have a moments peace in her own body. The stress, the anxiety she had suffered in waiting would not allow her body to stop from moving. It was constant, and tiring to watch. But it was something Molly was becoming used to, her friend had been like a tightly coiled spring from the moment Molly and Elvis broke the news to her. The news that Dangles, her love, was missing too; alongside Charles and other members of two section. And so from that moment Jacqui had been a constantly moving entity, every moment for the past two weeks, even in the brief moments of sleep she allowed herself to have, she continued to move. She was then just like Molly waiting….waiting for something. 

Looking over Molly tried to smile at her friend, but it couldn't come out. Her face didn't do that movement anymore. It had been such a long time she felt that she had smiled. Since before she'd first heard the news, not since the moment when her world and everything in it stopped.

When Elvis had first told her Charles was missing she fainted, had literally fallen to the floor, no one quick enough to catch her. It was the first time she'd ever done that, accepting that it was what was needed, her mind and body just needed to shut down, she needed to stop hearing the hurtful words Elvis was telling her. By losing consciousness, she stopped this verbal assault briefly. However reality had to be faced and eventually she pulled herself together, listened, became more pragmatic, sensible, and started the long journey of belief, hoping that all would turn out well.

As she recovered that day being held by Elvis, finding so much comfort in his strong determined arms and words she realised how important he too was in both Charles' and her life. Grateful he was there for her. Gratefully understanding why he was there, why he was the one to tell her, he was fulfilling a promise him and Charles had made long ago, that they would be the ones to break bad news. Never would they allow their families, their loved ones to hear the news from some random official stranger. That their bond, as mates, meant that each other would, in the darkest of times be there for loved ones. And this was why Elvis was there holding her, supporting her, and what he had continued to do throughout it all.

Despite Charles' pact with Elvis he reluctantly agreed there was one role that Molly needed to do, on her own. One task that she did not want Elvis to perform. Molly knew it had to be her that told Charles' parents, that they needed to be involved as much as they could be, that the sadness she was about to bring into their world could not be avoided and needed to be done by her and her alone…..but first they had to tell Jacqui. 

So many things she had done over the years but Molly knew that moment when she told Jacqui would never leave her. It was imprinted on her brain, like the scene form a movie. It all had seemed so final, when in fact looking back it was just the start. Walking into the office she had seen her friend look up, relatively care free and happy. Jacqui joking about the last lesson plan she'd put together, mocking her own teaching notes, ignoring Molly as she had been too caught up in her amusement. It was only when she turned her head and registered the tears on Molly's face that she knew. That six sense, that unknown unexplainable feeling that one can sometimes get. Then Molly told her, she retold everything that Elvis had told her. He stood by her through it all, and when Jacqui failed to take in Molly's words it was Elvis who had the strength to repeat it, as much for her sake as well as Molly's… Dangles was missing too. 

The information they had received, was Charles, two section, and a platoon of engineers had been out at one of the remotest areas to assess the damage to a village. Remote and so far away from base camp it had yet to be inspected or visited by any of the aid services. It was an unknown situation they were going into. On arrival they reported in the utter devastation of the village along with numerous fatalities and casualties. Their plan was to separate the roles of rescuing, burying and rebuilding. 

Charles chose Dangles, Fingers and Brains to join him and an engineering squad, to the furthest end of the village to assess buildings for suitability to be repaired. They had been gone most of the day and that was when apparently an large after shock happened, contact was lost, comms went down. Kingy and his team, realising the danger of the situation had attempted to search for Charles and his groups but there had been too much destruction, their ability to be effective in finding them never mind rescuing them was futile. Too many building had collapsed; the last known area Charles had reported in from was now one large area of ruined buildings and fires.

Frustrated and aware they needed more help Kingy made a hard choice and chose to leave. He had several injured soldiers, few abled bodies to assist him, and no forms of communication. So it was with heavy, but military trained hearts, that he and the rest of the section eventually had to limp back to the base camp in the hope of finding help. It had taken them the best part of two valuable, potential lifesaving days to return. Then the search for Charles and his men began. It was then the families were notified.

So by the time Molly and Jacqui heard the news from Elvis, their lovers had been missing for almost three days. Three days under stone mason, pinned down, crushed, suffocating in the dust and smoke was three days too long, and they all knew that. Search and rescue were deployed and started quickly, dehydration as serious issue in the crippling heat and humidity, but skilled as they were it still took them another two days to actually locate a single person.

As the days went by and fewer and fewer survivors were pulled out of the rumble, it became less of a search and rescue mission. Attempts were thwarted by continuing aftershocks and the size of the search area. Elvis shared this news with Molly and Jacqui, but they were realistic, their roles teaching them that as each hour went by the chances of finding anyone alive reduced significantly. Elvis was almost ashamed of his Army when he told them….. that orders from above, realistic of the situation as the days past, it now was a search and recovery mission, rescue seemed unlikely.

Still though, the three friends did not give up their hope. It was impossible for them to do so, that was not who they were, but they found it frustrating. Used in their roles to being there, where the action happened, and now depending on their fellow soldiers to do their utmost best for their comrades, placed a huge strain on them. Both Molly and Jacqui opted to stay in Afghanistan, continuing their teaching roles, both needing something to do to fill their time. Idleness lead to thoughts that took away hope and lead to despair, they knew that. Both on light duties and both utterly distracting themselves in everything they did, trying desperately hard to carry on.

For Elvis though it was even harder. He had no job to do out there but wait, something he was not overly good at. His days were long and lacked the structure he needed. He continued to be supportive and optimistic in front of the girls, but at night alone his fears grew and he expected every hour every day to bring him the news he dreaded. He missed having someone to talk to, someone to turn to. He missed his Georgie.

"Hi. It's me." His voice broke as he clutched the phone to his ear. Not wanting to miss a second of the conversation.

"Yeah I know Elvis your number came up. You ok?" Georgie asked, aware that Charles was missing, she'd heard the news at work, but that was all she knew. She'd been desperate to call Elvis but didn't know if her call would be welcome. Now here he was calling. She knew he must be going through all types of hell. 

"Well considering. I'm here with Molly and Charles is missing…no. I'm not ok. All I am, all I do, is wait." He shot back at her. 

She chose to ignore his tone. She appreciated the stress he was under. "Any news. I mean I only know the basics. What's happened?" 

"No. No news." Sadly he replied. It felt good to talk to her. He missed having that someone in his life. What they had was not perfect but it was he thought better than having nothing at all. "How much do you know?" He asked.

"Just that Charlie and a few other soldiers are missing. No names. Who else?" She quietly asked. She had been part of two section. Had worked with them had firm friendships with some of them. She cared about them too.

"There's a few. Too many." He started. "Look Georgie. This is going to be hard. You can't tell anyone until it official. Can't tell no one….. It's Charlie, Brains, Dangles and... "He hesitated here. He knew she was friends to all of the names missing, but one especially. "...And Fingers."

"Oh shit." She choked out. Fingers had briefly dated her sister. Her and Elvis at one stage double dated with them. Fingers was smitten with Marie, but she was young, not wanting anything too serious, so after six months together she broke up with him. At the time Georgie seeing how upset Fingers had been could only hope one day her sister would realise what a good bloke he actually was. They had all remain firm friends though. 

"Yeah. I know. Thought you'd need to know and that."

She remained silent for a long time. He wondered at one stage if she had hung up. Then he heard her quietly say. "Thank you Elvis." Then suddenly he heard words that he hadn't expected to hear from her again. "I miss you." 

He couldn't stop himself. "I miss you to babe. So fucking much." He smiled into the phone saying the words knowing that him and Georgie would never be truly over. They just needed to re-set their boundaries. He scanned around him, wanting privacy, readying himself to confess all. Taking a steading breath he said. "Look Georgie...I still…"

"Elvis?" A voice broke through his delivery, his confession. It wasn't from the other end of the line. He could still hear Georgie waiting anticipating his words. The voice came from behind him. It was Molly. 

"Look Georgie. I have to go. Take care." And with that he hung up on her and turned himself around to greet Molly. A fake smile etched on his face. 

"Sorry mate did I interrupt?" She said offering him one of the teas she carried. She knew she had. She'd been watching him. Knew who he was talking to. Knowing he was about to confess his love to Georgie. But in that moment Molly had felt totally selfish. She couldn't call Charles and talk to him, the man she loved, and if she couldn't why should Elvis and Lane be able to. So like a petulant child she cut Elvis off in his prime. She needed him more, to be there for her and Jacqui, to be focused on them, not on Georgie. 

"Nah. Its ok. You been on the phone to Charles' oldies again?" He asked. Putting her first, pushing his own feelings down.

"Yeah. Hard. Still nothing I can tell them. Keep saying the same things again and again. It hard for them to take in." She sighed taking in a scalding mouthful of tea, needing to focus on that pain rather than the pain in her heart for a while.

As always Elvis stepped up to the mark. "I can call them again if you want me to?" He asked, watching Molly nod to his offer, both now remaining silent, nothing more to say to each other, both lost in their own thoughts.

Moly's drifted back to that first call to Charles' parents to break the news. She guessed it was so hard to do because she loved them, knew them, understood their tight relationship with their son. Knew their expectations about his job, appreciating that they had had bad news about Charles before, but to hear them hundreds of miles away from her, re live that grief was heart breaking. She of course promised to keep them informed of any news she had, called them daily with little or no news. However that all changed for them all on the seventh day. That was the day the news came in, initially there was relief that their waits were finally over, but then sadness, such dreadful sadness that they all had to endure at the news of the loss of such a fine soldier.

Molly was broken from her thoughts, and brought back into present day, as Elvis gently walked in to the grey depressing room at the airport. He was dressed officially, in his smart n.o 1s, his best bib and tucker he said earlier with a sad smile. It was what Charlie Boy would have expected, and he, due to his friendship with the dead soldier was part of the repatriation ceremony for the body. Molly had chosen to merely be a mourner today, she was civilian dressed so, that's all she could be. There was no official role for her today. She was here to show her respect and love for him, and to share in the grief for the loss of his life.

"It's time to go." Elvis softly called out to the room. Numerous red eyes locked onto his at the announcement. All noticing the folded Union Jack flag held in his hands, the one to be taken and draped over the coffin on its arrival. Embarrassed by so much attention, and cursing himself for lack of forethought he turned to leave the room, only briefly stopping to hug George and Mary, then Molly.

"It's ok Mols." He soothed into her hair, her tears melting onto his jacket lapel. "He's nearly home, he's nearly back with us." Then he kissed her head, like the elder brother type figure he had very much become to her. She knew though that it was anything but ok. That the next few hours for all those in the room, and so many others who knew him, their lives would never be the same again. That the loss would always be felt.

It seemed like a life time waiting for the plane to taxi to a stop and the cargo doors to open up. The civilians came off first and some of the search aid workers. Media coverage had been kept to the minimum, but still there was interest so it was wise to move these good kind people out of the way as quickly as possible. Molly could not imagine what they had suffered and hoped at some stage when the shock, the grief stopped being so crushing she would get the chance to thank them.

Jacqui for the first time in a long time, on seeing movement from the plane's hull, allowed a small smile to escape from her fixed face. Dangles and her would soon be reunited. He had been one of the first to be found. Severely dehydrated and with a broken leg, but otherwise fine, and coming home to her. Molly was happy, she couldn't not be for her friends, but when she had first heard the news she had been torn apart with envy. Jacqui had news on Dangles, she hadn't any on Charles and it was several days after before anything filtered through about Charles' fate. Hearing her friend receive happy news, seeing her world righted again, was difficult as Molly and Elvis continued in their state of limbo. It was funny though, she looked back, that when the news about Charles and the rest of them did come through to her, how she so wished it hadn't. How she so wished that the ignorant painful bubble she had been in had continued a bit longer. For when the news came about Charles and the rest of the section it was painful to hear.

She watched from the edge of the runway as the ceremonial ranks of soldiers got into their places to greet the retuning troops home, in whatever form they were coming home. Elvis stood rod ram straight in his line at the front. Eyes never moving, face frozen in a professional practiced stare. She marvelled at his courage, his ability to hold in his emotions. He had lost a friend too. The greatest respect though he could pay his friend, right now, at this moment, was to do his job, be the best solider he could be.

Finally there was movement and the waiting group of relatives were moved forward. All straining to see their loved ones leaving the plane, and be welcomed home by them, but first they had to endure the harshness of Army protocol.

First, as they had been told, the soldier's body needed to be repatriated. The ceremony to return the fallen comrade taking all precedent over all other events, over all needs. Slowly the coffin came out of the plane. Carried by several abled bodies of two section and some of his old comrades from other platoons. He would have appreciated that Molly thought. It was something he would have been happy to see. His friends old and new bringing him back home, back to his family. Sobbing started within the group, emotions unable to be held in check anymore, and no one expected them to be. Tears streamed down Molly's face as George's arm held on to both her and Mary simultaneously. Giving them all the support he could, but knowing that it most likely was not enough.

The procession slowly moved forward, bringing him home with dignity and respect. The mood reverent, and there was also a sense of pride amongst his fellow soldiers that they had delivered him into the hands of those who knew him best. They had done their duty one final time for their mate. His family as one moved forward as expected, almost as it had been rehearse, and followed the coffin to a private area, away from prying eyes. This was their time with him. To grieve over their loss, to say their words of love to him that they had not been able to offer as he lay dying in a foreign land.

Molly by this stage could hardly see, her eyes so full of tears, her mind so saturated with so many differing emotions. But she knew she had to continue, to move forward to focus up on the next task in hand. Their purpose, their reason for being there was not over. She still needed Charles to be proud of her.

It was then when the 'walking wounded' started to come out of the plane. She turned back to see Dangles being one of the first to emerge. Jacqui ran forward into his arms as best she could as he supported himself with a crutch, mindful of the impressive metal work he had to his leg. Their reunion was so beautiful to watch, just like all the others happening around her as what was left of two section slowly started to emerge from the plane.

All the soldiers, to some degree, appeared reluctant to leave the comparative safety of the plane and face the realities of their home coming. They all had seen too much, experienced too much, and returning back to a semblance of normality was going to be hard. They emerged shell shocked, into the bright sunshine of the day, blinking almost at the cruelness that it dared to shine so bright when one of their own had fallen. She saw Kingy, and Ruby emerge, both had family members to welcome them back ecstatic, as did most of the men.

There were other members of the section missing though. Brains being the notable one. He wasn't returning home at this time, still in a military hospital in Germany after an operation. A week of being crushed under a building had cause several health problems, breathing issues, so flying home was not an option for him at this stage. Sarah, Molly found out, had been flown to see him, and within hours of her arrival Molly had received the very subdued news that they finally had got engaged.

"Where is he?" Mary asked moving from foot to foot, worry embedded on her face. The saturated hanky, that had become part of her over the past weeks, screwed up in her hand.

"You'll see him, don't worry." George tried to calm her, but it was a futile move, nothing would calm them until they saw him. He was equally effected by his son's absence as her.

Slowly and carefully he emerged from the plane, the last to leave. She watched as he stepped cautiously onto the tarmac, returning the salutes and shaking hands with his superiors. His official role almost over and she could see the burden of the past weeks still remained heavy on him. Elvis broke away from the line up and pulled him into an embrace, looking at Molly and signalling them to come forward. The time for protocol had now passed. Her legs moved towards him, desperate to reconnect with him, not even waiting for Mary and George.

As she approached, Elvis and him separated, he attempted to smile, nearly pulled it off too, but the bruising to his face, the cuts, and the grief not allowing him to do so.

"Fuck Molly." Was all he said gently as she walked into his out stretched arms. "Fuck." And he held onto her, appreciating that he could, that he was the lucky one, he was home alive. His ribs were cracked and he winced at the pain it gave him to hold her, but he had never been so happier to feel that pain because it meant that he was still alive.

"Charles." Was all she whispered back. "Oh thank God." She was pressed into his body further as Mary and George joined them, all delighting in his return. None of them noticing the discomfort they caused him. Too far gone in their happiness to care for these brief but wonderful moments in welcoming Charles home.

Pulling away, from them all he hung his head down. Not able to look at any of them in the eye. Knowing his safe return was still a return saturated with sadness. "I'm sorry Molly. So sorry."

"I know Charles. It wasn't your fault. I know." She appreciated the blame he had eating inside him.

"But I was his CO. I wasn't able to help him. He died." He bit his lip and threw his head back in an attempt to hold the tears away. To regain his composure. Molly went to hold him again, but this was too much for him. " No." He answered sternly and stepped away. "I cant. I have to go and see his family."

"Are you sure Charles? Now?" She asked, knowing that nothing would shake him. It was his duty. He had lost one of his men, he had been there while he had died, had held his hand, had listened to his last words. He needed to see them. It was right that he did so. It was respectful to his friend that he faced his family and told him how proud he had been to have served with him.

And so she watched him walk away, cold, reserved, and professional. About to do a task he had done once before when Geraint died. Here he was yet again walking towards his comrade's family, walking towards his and Molly's friend's family. Walking to express his grief and sadness to the soldier who he served with, who was known to him and those who has loved him as….. Fingers.


	16. Chapter 16

Everything Starts Somewhere

Chapter 16

She heard the screaming as soon as she stepped out of the car. Grabbing her hand bag she burst open the front door, throwing down her keys and ran to where the screams were continuing. 

It had been eight weeks since Charles had come home. Seven since Fingers' funeral. These had been long hard weeks for them all. The screams were unexpected about not unusual. They set Molly's heart racing. 

As she burst through the kitchen door she saw the attacker immediately, outside in the garden. Cruelly pinning his victim down, no chance of escape. Molly knew she was needed and sprang into action immediately to save the innocent. 

"Don't worry Sam. I've got ya." She yelled. 

"Molly help. Daddy's tickling me. He's turned in to a tickle monster." Sam screamed back with delight. Charles not letting up in his actions. Taking his role as a tickle monster so very seriously.

As Molly tried to wrestle Charles off, half heartedly she caught Charles' eyes and saw for the first time since his return he actually looked close to being happy. She guessed being around this adorable kid would do that. Something her and Charles had not achieved around each other in a while. She returned his face full of happiness 

"Molly please." Sam broke free and hid behind her back. "Stop the tickle monster." He cried, loving that their usual fun game was being played once again.

"Don't worry mate I've got you." She protectively scooped him up into her arms and dodged Charles' arms as he went to grab her. "Beside I know the tickle monster's weak spot." She yelled as she started running around the garden. 

"Oh really Dawes what's that?" Charles went to dive one way as Molly went the other, but he was too quick for her and instantly he had them both trapped in his arms. "So tell me what's my weak spot?" He growled into her ear.

Happiness burst out of her, as they both fell back into the fun they used to have. "Kisses." She boldly giggled, hoping she hadn't pushed him too far. 

"Kisses?" He replied. "Really?" But she knew he was happy too, in this moment with her and Sam. Her words had amused him rather than push her away. 

"Yeah Daddy….. Kisses from girls…. are yuck. That's why tickle monster hate them." Sam joined in the teasing. 

Charles released them and Molly put Sam back down on his own feet. He scrambled over to their bench, and pulled Molly, his protector still from the tickle monster with him. Charles loomed over them watching how comfortable they were with each other. Both were still wearing smiles from their game.

"Think you'll find Sam one day you'll like kisses from girls." Charles said educationally to his son.

"Never." He declared and ran off. "I need a wee wee." Shouting as he ran into the house. 

Both erupted into laughter at his outburst. Charles sure of himself, sure of them, in this moment, so he confidently continued.

"Well I know for sure Dawes that this tickle monster loves kisses." Charles sat down next to her, facing her and moved his hands to cup her face. He leaned in and they kissed. It was so gentle, so delicate, but in that moment it was strong enough to hold them together.

"Can't believe this is our last weekend here… ever." She reluctantly broke their kiss.

"I know. It's been a good home. Hasn't it?" He looked at her, regretting the sadness he saw in her face. The sadness he now saw whenever he looked at her. Knowing it was him who put it there. Knowing how hard she was trying not to show it.

"It's been the best." She replied and tears welled in her eyes. Silently cursing herself as that's all she had seemed to do over the past weeks…cry. 

"We'll get something better, bigger, one day...I promise." He used his practiced smile, the one that didn't quite reach his eyes. The one he felt hid all the sadness that she too saw in his face when she looked at him. 

"Yeah. I know we will." She replied. But they both knew he couldn't promise that, they both knew their future was fragile and certain promises may get easily broken.

Their lives were changing, their everything was changing. They were leaving this house, moving out together, but not to live together. Charles was leaving and she was returning to barracks. 

The past weeks had been hard for everyone, but especially Charles. His injuries healed externally but internally he was still broken. His grief at the loss of Fingers and the guilt consuming him made him doubt everything. His confidence gone. He couldn't face returning back to two section, and she truly understood that. So she supported him in any way she could, even reluctantly in his eventual decision, and it was this decision that was to tear them apart.

The powers above appreciated that Charles had little to give staying where he was. Appreciated his need for a change. They'd highlighted him for promotion, had great faith in him and needed to keep him engaged and more importantly in the Army. So they listened with willing ears to his request for a transfer and granted him one immediately. It was not to where he expected. He'd expected his transfer would be local, or at least commutable, but this was not to be. His transfer instead was to take him hundreds of miles north, to Fort George and Redford barracks in Edinburgh. He was unable to decline the transfer, although he wanted to, knowing it was his only chance, his only option to continue as a soldier, as staying with two section would have broken him mentally. 

He told Molly the news full of optimism, hope, putting on a brave face about it all. Filling the news with promises that they would see each other every weekend. Stating flights easy and cheap. It would take effort but it was doable. They could do it. It wouldn't be forever. It was just for now. As she listened to his news, even as he listened to himself telling her, they both knew in reality this would not be the case. Real life would eventually get in the way; they had both seen it before amongst other friends in long distant relationships. This wasn't a tour where one of them would after a set time return home; this was a posting, potential promotion for Charles. This was a long term separation, both hoping they were strong enough to keep going until the end.

"How's Sam doing?" She asked, turning her face away from him but still snuggling in to him. Raising her legs up on the bench making herself comfortable in his arms. Not wanting him to leave her…now or in the near future.

"Don't think he gets it. Know it will be longer in between visits. That he'll be flying to see me rather than driving, but that's it really." He sadly answered. After all these years of regular contact with Sam he was going to be missing out on his son's company too.

"Mmmm. To be that young and that naive." She wistfully sighed, the words slipping out before she could stop them. 

"Molly you know if there was any other way I'd do it. You know this isn't what I want. To be so far way."

"I know." That's all she could say, any more would be dangerous.

"I just can't. Two section... every day I see them I think back. Fingers... what he went through. How he suffered and I could do nothing." He almost pleaded with her to understand, trying to explain why he was leaving again. 

"You did you know." She looked up briefly at him. What ever happened she still needed to comfort him about Fingers. "I know you couldn't stop him from dying but being there, with him, making sure he wasn't alone. That counts. That's a good thing you did." She turned to kiss him. A soft almost maternal kiss.

"Ok. I get that. But I can't go back to the lads. Every time I see them I know he's not there. He wasn't a shrinking violet now was he? You always knew when Fingers was in a room. I can't be their CO anymore."

"Yeah you've said." She shot out. He caught the tone in her voice, one she had tried to disguise so many times when they talked about this. It was sadness loaded with bitterness. She wasn't proud of how she felt. Had tried to keep her feelings to herself, not wanting him to know how lost she'd be without him. 

"Molly please." He pulled her to face him. Sitting her in his lap. "If there was any other way. I'd do it. I can't lose you over this. Please. We've waited out before. We know we can do it again."

She jumped from his lap. Suddenly it all had become too much for her. "Look Charles this is pointless it's a done deal. You're off to Scotland and I staying here. Packing up the house and going back to bloody barracks. Enough said. We can talk about it all we want but them are the facts. We ain't going to be living together anymore!"

She spun off his lap and went to find Sam. Her time with him too was running out. There were so many losers in this scenario. In three days Charles was leaving them both, and nothing would be the same.

As she bounded up the stairs to Sam's bedroom she avoided looking at the mess from their room. Charles clothes strewn around the room, drawers emptied, wardrobes void of his stuff, one of the first stages of their separation, him packing up his clothes. Ready to leave her.

When he'd returned home to her all those weeks ago she was so grateful that he had come back to her. That he had fulfilled his promise, the promise they always gave to each other. But although he was back physically she doubted that he'd come back mentally. Everything on the surface was as it had been, everything looked the same. But deep down she knew things in Charles' head were not straight. The sick leave, the funeral were all stages to help him get sorted mental, but they hadn't. The counselling sessions that he had to attend, only happening once or twice before he declared he was fine, also didn't help. How could they when he hadn't really given them a fair shot despite Molly pleading with him to continue. All guides that should have helped him along the grief and guilt process he was inevitably on, but Molly knew they just weren't enough. She knew that she wasn't enough either, she too began to self doubt.

The night he told her of his plans, surprised her with such momentous changes to their lives, without them first discussing it, she started back on the long forgotten road of self preservation. Feeling let down by his exclusion of her into something so important knocked her confidence in the relationship. Being with him, belonging to someone, being the other half of a whole had in the beginning been hard for Molly to accept, but she did it. She had let Charles in, and never regretted it, until then. Until that evening when he destroyed all belief she had about ever being good enough for him. It seemed she was not the only one, who when the going got tough, got themselves going. After all wasn't that what she did when Smurf died?

"What you building Scamp?" She asked as she settled down to play with Sam. His company at times so much easier to enjoy than his Daddy's. Not so complicated, never tinged with sadness.

"Nothing. Just stuff. Funny stuff to make you and Daddy smile again." He answered her back concentrating on the bricks in his hand.

"Don't we smile anymore?" She asked. Her heart breaking knowing that maybe, just maybe, this act they had been putting on around each other wasn't working.

"Yeah. Daddy smiles, you smile, but you don't smile together much." He simply replied shrugging his shoulders.

"We're just a bit sad." She offered. "We both lost a friend, and now Daddy is going away. It's all just a bit sad." It sounded so simple.

"Do you and Daddy still love on another?" Sam innocently asked looking up at her, his face as he began to grown up was fast becoming a carbon copy of Charles'. His beautiful sad brown eyes melted her heart, just like his father's did.

"Of course we do." She answered without thinking. Her heart doing the talking, giving the true answer. She did love him; she knew he still loved her, it just that things were so hard for them both. Their ability to forget, to carry on without the past sad memories getting in the way was too hard for them to consider for now.

The relief of Charles' return would always be there, she knew, but so would the events that brought him home, and not Fingers. Charles struggled with dreams at night, tormented to a degree about his time alone in that dark, suffocating cell of destruction that had come falling down around them. He'd spent nearly six days listening to a happy, cheeky friend struggle to hold on to the life that was undeniably ebbing away from him. He shared it all with Molly, he talked thinking that's what he needed to do, what she need to hear, but it only made their grief worse. There was nothing cathartic to either of them about the stories Charles told. She never blamed him, criticised or questioned him about the events. As always blindly accepted that he had done his best as he always had, but at times wondered if she had been there with Fingers and not Charles could she have done something to save him.

They both had hoped that the funeral would help them move on in their fog of mourning, if anything it only made it denser. Charles unable to carry the coffin due to his cracked ribs felt side lined. No request for him to speak at the funeral, no offer by Fingers' family to include him in the ceremonial duty at all. He merely was a spectator, a mourner at a funeral like everyone else, and that hurt him. Reinforced his view that other might blame him for Fingers' death.

Molly however was asked, and this hurt his professional pride. The family knew of their friendship and personally requested Molly's attendance, noticeably and purposefully excluding Charles in their invitation. Not feeling brave enough to speak and too short to help carry his coffin with the rest of two section, she attended proudly with Charles by her side. Both supporting each other, or so it looked, both however feeling that they emotionally attended Fingers' funeral alone.

Georgie and Elvis attended the funeral too, separately, but all could see that they still had an attraction to one another. Molly felt lost, and confused seeing him drawn back in to her clutches. Giving her a second chance. Envious they had the sort of bond that she had once had with Charles. Jealous that they seemed to be starting out, starting something again, when her and Charles, both together and separately were starting to fall apart.

As the days, weeks ticked by they held onto each other as they used to, a habit hard to be broken. The usual sleeping routine and position one that they couldn't get out of. Each needing that physical comfort from another's body, but gaining nothing more than that. There was no sexual interaction between them, no passion…. cracked ribs, bruises and grief their practiced excuses. They continued their kisses, their hugs, hand holding, but both felt as though these were robotic tasks that just happened between the two of them, pleasant enough but the warmth, the spark that they had had in the past was missing.

"Hey." He softly spoke standing in the bedroom doorway watching her that night get ready for bed. Surrounded by his belongings, his life being packed up and moved away from her.

"Hey." She answered back with a sad smile, trying to shift his clothes from the bed into piles. Everything was ordered, that's how he approached things, and everything had a system to it, a place in the world. And so that was why when chaos reigned in his world his coping mechanisms failed.

"Sam's asleep. Thought we could have some wine in the garden. It's a lovely night." He offered desperate to try to get something back in their life, but what that something was he was unsure.

Her first thought had been to say 'no'. She had Charles to pack up, then once he was gone she was left with the task of packing up their house all on her own. Both had decided with very little thought or discussion that it was pointless her staying in the house on her own. Both cited cost as a reason, they would need the money they paid out in rent for flights to visit each other. But they both knew that either of them would have been too sad to live in the house without the other, and so in six short weeks Molly had to pack it up and hand the keys back. Their home would no longer be theirs any more.

She had wanted to say 'no', but couldn't. There was still a familiar draw, and essential need still to be with him, by his side for as long as possible, and so she followed him downstairs. The view when she entered the garden was magical. Charles and Sam had decorated the garden with fairy lights, festooned all around the love swing they favoured. Two glasses and a bottle of fizz rested on the lawn, soft music playing from his iPod.

He lead her by the hand to sit her down next to him on the seat.

"This is beautiful Charles. Thank you." And she kissed him, for a moment there was that spark, that tingle, between them that almost put their world right, but just as soon as it came it was gone again. To brief to re-ignite a fire struggling under a blanket of grief and change.

"Sam helped me do it. I wanted to though. You've been so sad." He wrapped his arms around her. She found it so comforting, so safe.

"I have been." She poked her head up to look at him. "You have too."

"I know, but I don't want to be. I want this move to be a fresh start for me, clear my head, and focus on being a good soldier again." He squeezed her closer.

She then uttered the words that she had wanted desperately to say, but never felt she had the strength to say.

"What about me then Charles? Us? Where are we in this fresh start?"

"What do you mean? You're here. We're here. That's not what I meant. You know it isn't." He cried out, turning himself so that they now sat face to face. The fizz unopened by their feet and long forgotten. He realised that whatever this was between them now, whatever was broken, couldn't be fixed by fairy lights and bubbles.

"You're running." She said, staring at his dark eyes. "I know cause I used to run…before you. I did after Smurf too…..I ran. I know why you're doing it too. Understand that. Wish I bloody didn't, then maybe I'd fight for you to stay. But I can't."

"Shit Molly. I just need something different. New faces. New challenges. Not to be surrounded by people who know what a huge fuck up I am." He replied, pulling his hand across his face, trying to brush off her harsh but accurate words.

She moved closer to him, pulling his hands off his face, holding them in hers.

"That's ok Charles. You run. Run for as long and as far as you like, just promise me that you will always in the end run right back to me. To us. That you'll come back to us"

"I will. I promise." And with that a calmness drifted over them, contented that for now they were still together, enjoying one of the last summer evenings.

Hindsight, Molly thought was a beautiful thing. Looking back at those weeks, his first months of being away everything between them remained the same, apart from the fact that they were hundreds of miles apart. The day he left, the day he walked away, she steeled her heart. Know that the pain she felt watching him turn and leave, would be the pain she would feel forever, or at least until they were together again.

Their separation began well, she thought, if she was totally honest. Charles invested a lot of his time into making it so. He wrote to her, proper letters, just like they did when they were on tours, nearly every other day. She was amazed that even with all that was going on in his life that he found the time, but he did. He remained her dedicated Charles, trying to banish so many demons in his life, not only the ones that had led him to be so far away from her. Molly though found it odd to write to him, when they talked once, twice a day. Texts constantly flying between their phones, always wanting to know what the other one was doing, where they were at. She thought letter writing was pointless, something Charles teased her about repeatedly. She knew he was hurt by her lack of corresponding the old fashioned way, but there was something now that made her feel uncomfortable about committing her words to an indelible source.

Molly found that living back in barracks was so hard, difficult to adjust to. She'd been used to her independence, used to a happy life with Charles, and now she returned to a corridor of strangers. Somehow feeling a failure at her return. Both sets of parents failed to understand her and Charles' new situation. His parents were appalled by the separation, whereas hers quietly listened and wisely offered no opinions. But Molly knew, buy the glances that her Mum and Nan past between each other that they saw Molly's change of address as a failure too. Amongst friends they had tried not to overly advertise his move, but soon others heard, and of course the gossip began, Molly noticing she was looked on with pity and curiosity as others wished to know how it all gone wrong.

Charles could see none of this. He was up and away. Recovering. Slowly putting behind his grief and dinted confidence into the past, unlike proud Molly who still had to face it daily. He saw nothing of her struggle with what he had done to them, and she certainly did not share her feelings with him. What he did know was that she closed a little bit more of herself off from him, but he never pushed her, never asked.

As Molly's life changed, not for the better, Charles' life only improved. His job was enjoyable, the people, environment all new all refreshing. It drove him to strive higher, to aim better than he was before. Believing he wanted to make Molly proud of him again, sometimes thinking that it was only her pride in him that was missing between them. That it was that they had lost. As the many months went by he impressed and promotion was imminent. Excitedly he called Molly one day at work to tell her the news. Happy as she could be for him, she knew that promotion also meant that he wouldn't be returning back to south of the Boarder very soon. His redeployment was official, permanent and still a bloody long way away from each other. He couldn't understand how his news hadn't elicited the response that he had hoped for, he'd expected her to be ecstatic, instead he came off the phone to her disappointed.

When Molly hung up from hearing Charles' news all she knew was that she was heartbroken. Realising that this running away from her was no longer temporary. He had, she admitted, eventually stopped running, but he was no longer planning on running back to her. His promise broken. He wasn't going to come back to her. Their lives were now, and would be forever….. separate. He'd moved on, he'd moved upwards, he'd recovered and he had done it all without her in his immediate life.

Still they tried, both made an effort, limping along in their relationship, neither brave enough to face up to reality, both still pretending all was well. In the beginning she visited him often, loved where he lived, enjoyed his company still, enough in those early days to make the journey to see him twice a month. She could totally understand the draw the place had to him, how it could help him to heal. They had fun together exploring the surrounding countryside, and even re discovering each other briefly. Wonderfully reconnecting, which was heart breaking as it was always only temporary, they had to short a time together before they returned to their single lives again.

Slowly gradually though real life started to intrude. Weekend training exercises, guard duties, separate social events to attend all meant broken promises. Weekend visits soon started to be cancelled, time together shortened, excuse after excuse started to come from both sides. Seeing each other less and less frequently. After nearly a year of living separate lives the small cracks had started to grow bigger and deeper. Both had lives away from each other. Charles finding it still hard to slip back into her circle of friends, especially old friends from two section, when he came to see her, and Molly trying too hard not to like his friends in a fierce battle of envy instigated by her. It lead to arguments, accusations, and both became worn down by it all. They even spent the entire period of Christmas and New Year apart, neither willing to make allowances for the other's needs.

And so it was a weary and regretful Molly that had stepped off the plane that morning at Edinburgh airport that made her way along the familiar practised route to visit Charles. As she sat in the taxi she looked out at the passing landscape, the glorious views of the countryside coming alive with spring, she couldn't help but smile, and try to remember it all.

She knew this would be the last time she ever did this journey. Over the past months she had agonised over what she was about to do. But she knew on the day of her birthday, when she woke up all alone, with no message or card from Charles, who subsequently apologised as he'd been busy, that they were over. She was no longer part of an 'us'!

The Molly Dawes who had tried so hard to remain independent, to not let anyone into her heart, to penetrate her armour, had done just the opposite, she had let someone in and what had happened she knew was always going to happen. She was left broken hearted, and alone.

There had been no acts of infidelity on either side, no huge argument, both had just as the time went by chosen themselves, their own survival, rather than chose the survival of them as a couple.

She stepped out of the taxi and entered his front door. He greeted her with a cautious smile. This is how they had become around one another, wary, but still she fell into his arms, probably for the last time. He stroked her hair and sadly looked down at her, and it was at this moment that she knew what she was doing was right. He knew it too.

She was ending it with Charles. The love story that had started so dramatically nearly four years ago, and had given them and all who knew them such joy, was now over.

Finished.

It was the end of Captain Charles James, and Lance Corporal Molly Dawes. Their everything had ended.

Time for all involved to begin a new chapter in their lives.


	17. Chapter 17

Everything Starts Somewhere

Chapter 17

He sat at the desk looking at the mountain of paper work he seemed to have inherited. Cursing at his bad luck of his new posting with a dysfunctional team. His move to Bulford was something he hadn't asked for. He hadn't wanted this. He'd enjoyed his past five years hidden up in Scotland. Settling in and developing his role as a Major in the British Army. Focusing only on his career. Accepting that for him the Army was his life. No longer strong enough to get personally involved, wishing he'd only followed that advice years ago. 

So when the subject of redeployment came up to Bulford he expressed his concern, reluctance, but the powers above still pressed ahead, thinking it was the best for all. 

And so here he was sitting at his desk trying to sort out his predecessors mess. All he could see before him were problems. Moral issues, discipline issues, training failures. Every area as far as he could see were in trouble and he needed to sort them out quickly. Shaking his head in frustration he realised how hard this was going to be for him, frustratingly acknowledging that he truly had nothing better to do with his time. 

The knock on his office door brought him briefly out of his bad mood. A mood that had been his trait amongst his men for the past four years. All who served with him, knew him as a fair soldier, a good leader, but a hellishly bad tempted one. Stern faced, a follower of the rules no matter what. Soldiers had found to their peril once on Major James' bad side, they usually always were always on his bad side. His tolerance had reduced over the past four lonely years, almost expecting others to make sacrifices for the job, just as he had done. 

"Come." He barked wondering what petty issue he was going to have to deal with now. Every day since his arrival three days ago he had been interrupted, pestered, by those under his command with trifling issues. Highlighting, as though he needed more proof, that his new team were incompetent on nearly every level. He knew he had his work more than cut out for him. 

Slowly the door opened and in front of him stood a very nervous looking Adjutant. Knowing that his new CO could bite. 

"Yes what is it?" Charles barked out, but inwardly sighed. He didn't mean to be short, he wanted to start off this new role on the right foot, but was finding it difficult. He didn't want to be here, they didn't want him either. Their previous Major, recently retired, was respected hugely by his men, they still had a degree of loyalty to him. Charles was just the interloper. 

"I was wondering Sir. If you could find the time. We've a bit of an issue with one of the men... well soldiers... that is...he...is a she." The Adjutant stammered around the political hot potato he'd just laid before his new CO. 

"What?" Charles tipped back in his chair. Fingers drumming impatiently on the chair arm. He need this cautious fool to spit it out, get to the point. He was too busy for trivia. Realising though it was because of his own attitude that the man in front of him was struggling and so he attempted a softer tone. "How can I help you Adjutant?" 

Instantly the young officer became calmer; he continued. 

"One of the soldiers Sir. She's a good one really. Just a bit wild still. Has prospects. Gone and got herself into a bit of trouble. Got herself a bit worse for wear last night and was abusive to the night guard on duty." 

"Well. What's this got to do with me? That's your job isn't it?" He pushed his chair away and walked towards his coffee machine. Doing something other than focusing on how irritated this man made him feel. Trying to calm himself, appreciating that his attitude was his problem as he rarely spent time with others outside of his role these days, as he found he was just unable to tolerate other's company. 

"Well as I said Sir she has potential. Just a bit messed up at the moment. Man trouble we think. Good soldier she is, though to look at her you couldn't guess it. She's tiny. Delicate thing at that." At this he cleared his throat embarrassed he'd gone off topic. "Anyway. We've all tried. Not her first wobble so to speak. Can see her doing something stupid. Want to give her a chance. Thought Sir a talking from you might just do that. You know give her a nip. Pull her back into line." 

Charles raised his eyebrows as he inhaled his hot drink's aroma. Completely aware that his stern reputation was what had lead the Adjutant to his office. Obviously his Officers had thought that this new bossy Major might just be the thing to sort this wayward soldier out. It wasn't his reputation of being fair that lead this problem to his door, but his reputation of being fierce. 

"Fine. I'll do it. Where's her file?" He raised a slight grin to himself realising he was eager to help. This wasn't the first time he'd had to pull a soldier back into line, had done it numerous times over the years. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. His thoughts happily, though briefly, drifted remembering how he'd done this once with Molly, pulling her back into line. A success story. She'd had turned out to be a fine soldier, as well as the love of his life. 

"I errr... haven't got it at the moment. I'll go and fetch it Sir." And he saluted and left. 

When he returned Charles had sat back down. Feet stretched out and resting on the desk, attempting a relaxed stance. "So what's she gone and done?" He asked as he nodded for the file to be dropped on his desk. 

"Well as I say. Man trouble we think. Seems to have got herself involved with a bad lad. It all came to a head recently. Ended badly, so her friends took her out for moral support. Cumulated in her getting very drunk. Verbal assaulted one of the night duty guards... and then….. well vomited all over an Officer Cade'ts shoes!" 

Charles hid his smile behind his hand and he steepled them in front of his face. God he thought to be young and full of fun and stupid decisions again. Whereas he guessed here he was, not so young and his last stupid decision had been over five years ago and his heart still regretted it to this day. 

"Ok. I'll see her. Send her in at two. That ok?" It was an order really not a request. He dismissed the Adjutant and picked up her file, shouting at him as he turned to leave the office. "By the way. What's her name?" 

"Dawes." The Adjutant answered back and swiftly left. 

The sound of her surname left him paralysed, the file in his hands dropping on his desk and sliding onto the floor. 

Dawes. 

A name he had tried so hard to avoid for the past four years. A name that still meant something to him and held so many memories of a past that still caused him pain. He thought back to that day. 

"It's not right is it?" She'd looked up at him as he held her. He hadn't needed to ask her what wasn't right, he had known too. She had stepped out of the taxi and in to his waiting arms for once, something that hadn't happened for a while. This act alone reinforcing how different things had become between them.

"No I guess it's not any more Molly. Sorry." He had sighed into her hair.

"Don't be sorry mate. It's what happens. It's not that I don't love you. You know that don't you, cause I always will." She spoke the words into his chest, noticing his breaths were fast, his body tightening under her hold. He knew it was the end and he was starting to protect himself from the pain.

"I don't want to let you go. Can't imagine how I'm going to let you go. Can't imagine my life without you." He heaved lungs full of air in to his body at the panic he was starting to feel. How one day, maybe tomorrow he would wake up without her in his bed, and in his life.

"Think you let me go a long time ago Charles." She simply answered, and it was those words that had hurt him the most, because he knew them to be true.

For months Elvis had scolded him, pleaded with him to stop, get off the mad career ride he had got himself onto and face up to what he was losing. It was so obvious and easy to his friend. But he didn't listen, feeling that the only thing that was constant, certain in his life wasn't what his heart desired, but was in fact the Army. With the Army he could hide away the man, hide behind the uniform, he was fearful he'd become. And so he let her leave him, because he didn't think he had anything else to offer her anymore. She deserved better.

It had been over four years since he had last seen her. Four years since that defining day when she visited him in Edinburgh and they amicably agreed to separate. No shouting, no scenes, just both agreeing their time was up. The fact it was done so calmly, so easily, proved to them both it was the right thing. That their love story had come to an end, but in all that time his love for her hadn't.

Neither of them had in those four years made contact with each other. They no longer wanted to know what the other one was up to, where they were, what they were doing. It was perhaps too painful to know. They decided therefore on that day, a clean definite break would be what they would have. There would be no meet ups, no more one last time's, no 'let's be friends'. An absolute and definite 'good bye' to each other was given the day she walked out of his house for the very last time, and neither looked back. Their lives already so separate from each other it was such an easy thing to do. 

He truly hadn't up until today known where she was, where she was stationed, who she was now with. It was all too painful for him to keep remembering, so he chose to close her off from his life completely. He had once really needed Molly in his life, but couldn't have her, didn't after Fingers feel worthy of her. He pushed her away little by little and lost her, and he knew, he'd always know it had been down to his own stupidity and pride. Never admitting it out aloud to anyone but Elvis, who knew just how messed up Charles had allowed his life to become. No one ever chastised him for his choices back then, except Elvis and Georgie, but he knew what people thought, who they blamed. Who they sided with when the end came, and once his fog lifted, once he realised what he no longer had, he accepted that.

So polite, so mature was their break up that they both, through some unspoken agreement, avoided social events that would have brought them together. Elvis and Georgie were very good at staying friends to both of them, but also kept each other's lives a no go topic. At their wedding, where Charles was best man, she didn't show. She'd done the Hen Do, he'd seen a glimpse of her in a picture that was hastily tidied away by Georgie before he could look any closer. But she was a no show at the wedding. It surprised no one really, but he was disappointed and slightly relieved at the same time. He heard brief snatches form other guests that her no show was down to her being away on tour again, but he knew, somehow that wasn't the truth. She was letting him enjoy this day, his best mate's wedding, without the complication of her.

As the years went by he found he had started to wonder about her more frequently. Every now and then thoughts of her, what they had straying into his memory. He even had almost a year ago during a moment of weakness, a night of drunken of self-pity, started to write love letters to her again, ones that he knew though he would never in the cold light of day post. They ultimately were both too proud, and many be even too damaged to go back to how things had been. And so those letters remained in his bedside draw, and he tried to be happy that what they had had ended on a good note, before the toxic feelings started. 

His parents had been devastated by their break up, along with Sam. He never quite forgave his Dad for making him lose one of his best play mates, and Charles and Sam's relationship started to become difficult. Their care free fun times the three of them had, due to distance and Charles' work, became less and less. Sam suffered, having no Molly in his life, no play mate to make trips to see his Dad fun, visits became sporadic, their time spent together getting less and less. Once again slowly but surely Charles became a stranger to his son. He hoped with all his heart that this transfer was the chance to once again get closer to Sam, and to start to reconnect. His son now almost a teenager, and with attitudes and opinions to go alongside his maturing years Charles appreciated it wasn't going to be easy. 

Charles sat himself down and picked up the papers from her file that were scatter by his feet, not registering anything he saw. The words on the paper meaningless to him. He wondered how he would feel when he saw her again for the first time, pleased he had a few hours to gather his emotions. He was equally unsure about how she would feel when she saw him again for the first time, knowing it would be fraught with difficulties .They would be meeting with him being her superior again, and to boot he was meant to give her a bollocking for her behaviour. Something he knew from their past she never took to well. He grinned broadly, thankful in some ways she must never have changed, had still held on to that spirited streak in her character, the one that he used to adore.

Then he remembered just why she was there, the misdemeanours she had committed. Saddened that although, unlike him she had moved on, had started to live a life again, she hadn't done so successfully. There had been mention of a messy break up , and his heart broke again knowing she'd tried to move on without him, trusted someone with her love, but had been hurt again. Regret creeping into his thoughts that his pride and fool hardiness prevented him from fighting harder for her years ago, and maybe just maybe he'd could have saved her from having anymore hurt in her life. 

"Dawes." The lieutenant yelled at her from the doorway of the store room. Today's punishment, cleaning out a store room that dated back to the second world war. It stank, was dark and damp, and it wasn't helping her mood. She shot up at the sound of her name, inwardly groaning at what was to come next. "The Major will see you at two."

"Yes sir." She answered correctly, perfectly. All this time in the Army she knew when to play her part perfectly. Today she had to be the model solider. She had messed up big style last night and was bloody lucky that she wasn't being kicked out on her ear, that a smelly store room was her only punishment. 

"Don't be bloody late." He shouted at her, noting her perfect behaviour she'd displayed that day. He had tried, they all had over the past weeks to rain her in, give her a bit of understanding, but after last night' events he could see they hadn't got through to her. So now it was the new boss' turn, he secretly wished her well and left. 

"Bleeding hell." She cursed and held her head in her hands as soon as she was alone. This wasn't what she needed. She had a killer hangover, a raging thirst and was very very tired. She hadn't been sleeping to well for a while, and had been kept up to the early hours trying to clean and polish a certain Officer Cadet's boots by way of an apology. Everyone was worried about her, hell she was even worried about her. The break up had hit her hard, showed her weakness and dinted her pride….she hated that.

She had never meant it, but this love affair had impacted on her Army life more than any of the numerous ones she had had over the years. Something she just had never allowed to happen before. She was now in trouble at work, her actions meaning she would now have to see the new Major and receive a bollocking from him, leading to blot on her copy book. A true Dawes fuck up she thought. In fairness she didn't know much about this new Major, she didn't even know his name, too caught up in her own worries and even too late for the morning brief on the day of his arrival to catch his name. What she did know though was that he was tough, not a push over like their old Boss. This one's reputation was well known as fair, but bloody hard. And now she was going to have her first one to one with him!

She guessed he'd be some bloody Rupert, the type who'd speak to her as though she was something he stepped in. she's met his type before during her years in the Army. Patronising her, he'd talk of how she could do better, letting the side down etc. She'd heard it all before, and had heard it a lot recently, but in fairness to all those who had offered her this advice….they were bloody right! 

She knew she was messing up her life up, she could see that the Dawes self-destruct button had been pressed, that she was letting a bad relationship ruin her career. She also knew, had listened to friends, family that she really needed to get back on track. The Army had been her saviour, had rescued her from a pointless and rubbish life. Joining up had changed her, turned her into a good soldier and a better person, and she didn't want that girl to slip away all because of a man. She was a Dawes. She was going to fight for this. So no matter how much she wasn't looking forward to her stern talking to by the new Major, she knew she'd take it on the chin, accept what was coming to her, and grow from it. Letting her bosses believe it was them who saved her, and not herself.

Two came around quickly, and she was ready, marching with confidence to his door. Ignoring the knowing looks of all who past her by. She straightened her uniform, grateful it was still clean and crumple free after her time in the store room. She looked actually better than she felt. Cursing that her hair was not as tidy or as clean as she had wanted it to be, wetting her fingers and running them through her messy French plait to gain some control over escaped strands. Then adjusting her cap for the final time, and pulling her short frame to the tallest height it could reach, shoulder resolutely pulled back, she knocked on the new Major's door….and waited.

"Come." Was the barked out command and she pushed through.

He stood with his back to her as she entered and her breath caught, instantly recognising the cut of his curls on the neck of the man she used to tease about his hair. His frame brought back memories of their times together, his height just as disconcerting to her as it had been on the first day they had met. Despite everything, despite the years they hadn't seen one another, from that brief view she had of him he hadn't changed. She had never expected to see him again, certainly not here and certainly not meeting him for the first time for a telling off, the irony of their situation not lost on her. She knew their story. It was as though history was following a pattern.

He's turned slowly. She realised he was bracing himself, suspecting he would be feeling awkward about this meeting. She was wrong, In fact he was preparing himself for the inevitable pain he expected to feel when he looked on her face again. He hadn't bothered to read her file, it lay still on his desk, details of her life, her history of crimes still a secret to him. He didn't want to know. Fearing that the past four years, her life without him written coldly down on the pages would destroy any chance of friendship they could possibly have before they had even began. Knowing what she had been up to, where she had been, who she was with wouldn't make this meeting any more difficult than it already would be.

He knew he should have declared interest as soon as he heard her name come for the Adjutant's mouth, but he hadn't, curious to see her again in whatever way he could. There would be time enough for them to define their professional relationship. 

So when he did turn, when he did finally gaze over the young and beautiful soldier standing in front of him his heart jumped. He was visibly shocked though by what he saw before him. She had grown up, aged even, matured, but he could still see the girl he had once known. 

They were both staring at each other. Amazed that their worlds had crossed again. That Lady Lucky had thrown these two people back into each other's way. 

"Sir." Was all she said, but with a smile playing on her lips. She was happy to see him again, whatever the circumstances. 

He moved himself forward to see her, to get a better look at her. Registering the changes that the years had brought to her. 

"Dawes? Bloody hell." Was all he could say. A smile spreading across his face, rooted to the spot, unsure how to proceed. This was so unexpected. He let out a small chuckle at the humour of it all. 

"I know Sir. Who'd have believed it." She giggled, but still held her back straight and formal. Her eyes though giving away at just how happy she was to see him. "Hope you're well. Been a while."

He grinned at her. She was still cheeky he realised and in fact that was the reason she stood here now, in front of him, waiting for her dressing down. But in that moment none of that mattered. They had always been friends, always had found it easy to talk to each other. Shared the same sense of humour about so many things, and had loved with a passion the same people in their lives. They had history. No matter what had happened over the years, whose ever fault it had been he could see she held no blame towards him. 

"It certainly has. Good to see you too Dawes. I had no idea." And then he moved, forgot who he was to her, forgot ranks and pulled her in for a friendly hug when he saw her smile burst across her face at his words.

She hugged him back, surprised by his actions, but happy none the less. As he stepped back to look at her, to take in the girl in front of him he couldn't quite believe it. Here in his office, hugging him back after all these years was Molly's little sister.

Private Bella Dawes.


	18. Chapter 18

**Everything Starts Somewhere  
Chapter 18**

The shock of seeing Molly's baby sister standing in front of him still hadn't worn off even several days later. It had been a good surprise though he thought; he'd always had a soft spot for all of Molly's siblings. Being an only child he found times in their chaotic company illuminating and enjoyable. Meeting her again however had be a wake up call for Charles, regretfully realising that for too long he'd only had work in his life. Seeing Bella made him realise that everyone's life had kept going after they ended, it was only his life that hadn't. 

Their catch up had only been brief, as was proper in the given situation. He'd gained a little information from her before they were interrupted. He knew that she'd joined up nearly two years ago, was in Logistics and yes, she promised to wind her neck in and stop doing stupid things. He laughed at the memory; it was incredible that she was just so like her sister when she said the words but so hadn't meant it. That was a far as they got before her Staff Sargent joined them, so for now that was all the information he'd been able to gather. He gleamed a little more from her service records, but they did not give him the information he really wanted. 

Charles found meting Bella again interesting, full of curiosity, he was excited even as she was a link to Molly, a link he hadn't had for four years. It may be tenuous one but it was still a link never then less, and with that very thought he took control of the situation and invited her out one Saturday afternoon. 

As he sat in the coffee house waiting for her, he became nervous. This would be the first time in a long time he'd have heard anything definite about his Molly. There was so much he wanted to know, needed to know. As he waited he tried to calm himself, but the questions, the doubts started to flood his brain. He thought he'd mastered this side of him long ago, the self-doubting trait to his changed character, but he realised he actually hadn't, he'd just manged his life to avoid situations such as these. Realising that's what he did to him and Molly, he managed their lives to such an extent she could do nothing but leave in order to save her own, and that made him feel ashamed. 

She walked in with the same confident walk as Molly used to have. Oblivious to how others saw her, confidence pouring out of her. All he saw was a mirror image of his Molly, a special kind of beauty he'd always thought the Dawes women had. She smiled that familial killer watt smile and as she came close to the table he rose like the gentleman he was, and leaned into kiss her.

She pulled back suddenly. 

"Err... no... what you do that for?" She raised her voice. Staring at him horrified. 

"What?" He was confused. She looked so appalled, maybe he'd read this meeting with her wrong. 

"Go to kiss me and that. Oh shit." Realisation dawning on her face. "Shit Charles this isn't a date is it?" 

"What? No." Charles laughed at the total panic in her voice. "Is that what you thought?" He choked out. 

"Well no, but then you went to kiss me and that." She explained sitting down abruptly, still having the traits of an immature kid about her at times. She sulky stared back up at him. 

"I always do that. Always used to. Don't you remember?" He explained, sitting down opposite her, far enough away to be deemed decent. 

"You never bleeding did with me." She shot back. "You were always too tall to bend down that far." 

He chuckled at the blush that was still on her face. She was right though. He'd kiss her Mum, kiss her Gran but Bella had just been a kid when he was with Molly so all she probably got from him was an affectionate head rub. 

"Shit. I'm almost old enough to be your father." He chuckled. "So now we've cleared it up that I'm not hitting on you. Would you like a drink?" He asked, knowing that she'd want more than a drink judging by the way she scanned the food menu. Charles watched her, she may have wanted to seem all grown up to him, but all he saw was a kid in an adult's body, she still had some growing up to do.

Eventually they both settled on food and as they waited for their order Charles learnt about the missing years. 

"Became a bit of a cow really Mum and Dad weren't too happy with me. I was one step away from getting myself into something proper dodgy." Her admission hurt her as it obviously brought back bad memories she looked down and fiddled with her phone. 

He moved his hand over to hers. Cautiously. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He said, and caught a brief glimpse of a tear in her eyes.

"Nah. It's ok. Mols saw what was happening and kind of done an intervention of sorts. Pushed me into getting into the Army, and here I am. Been in for two years now."

The mention of her name, so casual in a conversation, something that hadn't happened for a long time thrilled him. "Do you enjoy it?" He asked completely avoiding following up on the mention of Molly in the conversation, he didn't know where to begin. 

"I do. Kind of what I needed. I know that. It's given me something. When everything else is shit it was there." She admitted. 

"Yeah. I know what you mean." He sighed, he may not be a 20 year old squaddie that had needed rescuing from trouble but, when his life had turned to shit, when he needed rescuing it was his Army that pulled him through. 

They talked a more about her Army life, their conversation free and easy. Their previous friendship easy to slip back into. Bella had good memories of Charles, he was like the big brother she never had, always had time for her, always the knight in shining armour when things at home weren't good. She knew by his questions that there was little he didn't know about her Army life. She guessed that as soon as she had left his office that day he read her files. She also knew he was desperate to ask more about her home life, but stubbornly he didn't. She would have been willing to tell all, but out of loyalty to Molly she felt he should be the one who asked first. 

So she stuck to telling him more about her life, how she had passed out, just, the trainers in basic having doubts about her all the way through. Just too cheeky at times, she said, giggling at this very accurate description of herself. But then in her first and only posting in Bulford she started to knuckle down. Had started to impress. Logistics she said was all about telling people what to do and where to go, something she said she was bloody good at. 

They talked easily for hours and Molly's name came up in stories, but he got no information about her or her life without him. He just hadn't asked. He learnt her parents were just as they always had been, but had stopped producing kids at least. Her Gran was growing old, but wouldn't admit it. 

"Honestly Charles." She laughed. "You should see her some days she comes around in her slippers demanding that Dad's stolen her shoes, and then other days she's sharp as a tack and clips you one round the ear for laughing at her losing her shoes. She's perfectly happy though. Says having a bad memory makes her days more interesting and exciting cause she can never get bored as each day she discovers something new."

Bella had loads of stores about the Dawes family, she did the majority of the talking and had him crying with her tales of their family antics, but still they never actually talked about Molly. He still just never asked. 

"So what about you then Charles? What you been up to?" She asked as they walked to her bus stop. He'd be unable to offer her a lift home as their presence in each other's company may have raised an eyebrow or two as they got close to their camp. 

He slowed his stride to match her small one. Something that was a habit to him when Molly was in his life. A habit he had gotten out of, and it felt strange to be doing it again with someone who wasn't Molly. 

"Me? Nothing to tell. Stayed in Scotland, then was posted here. That's about it." He admitted, because in a nut shell that was it. He had no life to talk about. No recent funny family stories, no drunken nights out with mates. He avoided all of those. 

"That's it? No girlfriend, dangerous love affairs of the heart?" She teased him as they walked, bumping into him to keep good humour between them. 

"No. Nothing. No one." He flatly replied, realising just how boring he now was. Hell he thought he even bailed early on Elvis' stag do, citing promotion exams. 

"Nothing? No one?" She asked amazed. Molly had confided in her years after the break up. Knew he had chosen Army over her sister. "Shit Charles that's ...shit. You're telling me in four years there's been no one?" 

Blushing at first at the intimacy of her question, but then he just nodded. Almost ashamed of the truth. He hadn't looked and hadn't made himself available, he just hadn't wanted to. In his heart he hadn't let go of Molly, and he guessed after all this time never probably would either. 

"Oh." Was all she replied. Silence. Unable to look him in the eye, almost ashamed at knowing both their secrets. Ashamed she knew all about what happened to Molly after Charles, and now she knew what happened to Charles after Molly... nothing! It was so unfair she thought.

As the bus arrived and she stepped to get on he grabbed her arm. Sheer agony etched on his face. Their chances to meet up socially like this would be limited he guessed, he had to be brave, he had to ask, had to know. 

"Bells. Tell me..." He was lost for words, unsure how to put his thoughts into simple sentences. "Is she... I guess what I need to know...Molly... is she happy?" 

"Yeah. Charles she is. She really is." Turing, getting on the bus and finding her seat she realised that this was what all Charles had really wanted to know. That Molly was happy, she could say that with a degree of honesty, but she knew she'd never be able to say that to anyone about Charles. 

Their paths, be it accidentally or on purpose, crossed infrequently over the following weeks. Bella's behaviour seemed to have settled down and her name was no longer mention as a cause for concern. Charles settled into his job and started out on tentative steps with his relationship building with Sam. Realising that fun weekends with Dad weren't on his agenda anymore, instead they were broken into by football and rugby matches. He became therefore a side line dad, Sam's biggest supporter and he enjoyed it.

What surprised Charles however was just how well he now seemed to be getting in with Rebecca. She was once again single, apparently pushed this one away with her lack of wanting to commit, and so Charles and her frequently now attended Sam's events together. They seemed to enjoy each other's company. 

This turn of events Georgie was horrified at, but Elvis found it hysterical. 

"So Charlie. Let me get this straight... you're dating you're ex-wife? The Ice Queen?" He chuckled into his beer. 

"No. That's not what I'm doing. It just you know she's often there at the same time as me watching Sam. So we're just friendly again. You know acting like adults around Sam." Charles patiently explained. 

"That's good." Georgie looked over at Elvis and hit him on the arm. "Isn't it?" Raising her eyebrows to him for support rather than ridicule Charles. For so many years these two friends had been desperate to get Charles to start socialising, living a life again after Molly. So she saw the fact he was at least socialising at his weekends off was a good thing. 

Elvis was having none of it. "Mark my words mate. She'll be after you again. Surprised it's taken her this long. Her hooks will be in you before you realise." 

"Fuck sake Elvis. Give it a rest." Charles bit back. He wasn't finding this funny. His meetings with Rebecca were if he was honest becoming too coincidental, and he was beginning to feel uncomfortable around her. He knew he wasn't over Molly, stupidity had let her slip through his fingers, he knew he was stupid, but not that stupid to get back with Rebecca. 

"So?" Georgie started to peace keep before this got unpleasant between the two friends. "How's work? Any gossip?" It was to her a dull and easy topic, if not a slightly dangerous one. She knew from her continuing friendship with Molly that her little sister was posted at Charles' camp. She knew this, she wondered if Charles or Molly knew it too. 

"Good. Well bit of a mess really, but it's good to have something to do." Charles swigged from his beer watching Georgie's face for any signs that she knew what he knew. He was curious as to whether she was playing a game with him. 

"So all new faces then?" She asked pretending she was interested in filing her nails more than his answer. 

"Georgie." He sighed with mock patience. They had been good friends to him over the years, and he didn't want to offend, but at times Georgie's belief that she had a right to know all that was going on in his life was annoying.

Elvis picked up straight away that there was something being unspoken. Him and Georgie had moved on a lot over the years but he still always was keenly alert for anything that was suspicious.

"What's this? What's going on?" Elvis asked.

Georgie merely shrugged and used her ever expanding tummy as a distraction and rubbed her hand over it. A move that made Elvis break out into a smug grin, dropping all suspicions from his mind. How could he be suspicious of her when she was carrying his child! 

"Look. I think what your not so subtle wife is wanting to know is if I've come into contact with Molly's sister."

"Well?" shrilled Georgie. "Have you?" 

"Yes I have. Within the first week had her up in front of me for a rollicking actually." He tried to hide the smile at the memory of that day, at his surprise.

"And?" Georgie was not giving up. She always had to know everything about everything. 

"And nothing! I gave her a talking to and..." He didn't finish his sentence. Over the years these regular meet ups had been his only source of friendship. His bond with Elvis only growing stronger as the years went by, and as Elvis' relationship became more formal with Georgie he had had to get used to her intimate friendship expectations too. 

"Oh my God and what?" She pushed herself half way off her chair to get closer to him. Hoping there was a scandal about to be announced. 

"And nothing... we went out for a coffee... a catch up. That was it." He felt so uncomfortable telling her this. He knew if it had been just him and Elvis alone tonight, as planned, he wouldn't be pushed like this. His true friend would have allowed Charles to tell him in his own time. 

"Hell Charlie." Elvis blew out, throwing his friend another beer. Tonight was for talking, lots of it, and nothing got Charles more communicative than beer. He had been pushed into a corner by the gossip Rottweiler known as Georgie, and had said more than he thought he would have done. But now he was talking Elvis need to know more. "So you took her out on a date?" 

"Shit Elvis no!" Charles shouted back, and watched as his mate threw his head back and roared with laughter, knowing he'd well and truly rattled his cage. 

"Ignore him. So what happened?" Georgie continued. 

"What do you mean? Nothing happened. We talked, caught up. That was that." He defended himself, not letting on that the whole time he was in Bella's company all he'd wanted to know, to ask was about was Molly. 

"Bloody hell Charles, you're dense." Georgie bit back. "Did you ask her about Mols then, at all?" 

"It's nothing to do with you. Don't get too excited. That's over. You know that. I fucked up. Time to move on, but yes amongst other questions I did ask about Molly. Would have been odd not to." He said standing to leave the interrogation behind 

"Mmmmm." She looked at him heading off to bed, not daring to push it as she caught Elvis' warning look. Still it was progress she thought, because that had to be the first time in a very long time that Molly had ever been mentioned in a conversation, never mind her name actually being spoken by Charles himself.

The next morning found the two friends alone in the early morning quietness of the kitchen. Georgie still asleep, her expanding and grumpy form, along with her louder than acceptable snoring enough to push Elvis from his bed. He wasn't surprised to find Charles sitting there, day dreaming over a cup of coffee.

"So?" Elvis started on seeing him.

"So?" Charles started. He knew he was being given permission to start a conversation they had long avoided. Finally he felt the time was right to have this conversation, he wanted to know. "How's she doing? Bella said she was happy."

"Yeah I guess she is mate. I don't get to see her often, that's more Georgie's area, but from what I hear she's doing ok."

"Good. Is she still in…..the Army I mean? Did she stay?"

"Yes, she stayed in….for now anyway. Made it to Corporal. Still thought highly of."

"What do you mean... for now?"

"Nothing just something I heard Georgie say a while ago that's all. So my turn to ask a question. What you going to do?" He held Charles' stare deliberately and definitely.

"Do? You mean about Molly? Shit I don't know Elvis. I just don't know." What he wanted to was to make the past four years disappear. For him to have made a different decision about how to handle Fingers' death. For Molly maybe to have fought for him a little more. Then he asked, just because he needed to know. "So is she with anyone?"

Elvis let out a quiet laugh. "Don't know mate. Classified information and all that. Doubt Georgie would tell me something like that. All I can say is she wasn't for a long time. She was fairly broken up after you two ended. Now…just don't know." He watched his friend take in the information in, then he saw what he had seen so many times over the past years…he saw Charles close himself of once again.

The weekend with Elvis, had been good, made him feel as though he was starting to get back to a degree of the man he used to be. It had settled him knowing Molly was happy, it was pleasing to know she had stayed in and had gained promotion, but it had hurt to hear Elvis' words about how she was after they finished. To be honest he was the same, he just hid it away from everyone, hid himself away.

It was a cold, stormy night. The rain was starting to turn to sleet and Charles was pleased that he had his small flat to get home to. He had been offered accommodation on the base, but it was in the married section. It was all they had for him, it was unusual that someone of his rank and age wasn't married or had a family, so they struggled to offer him anything else. He wouldn't have taken it any way. He liked the dive away from work; he liked living away from the job and the people. That way they expected him to socialise less, they were less intrusive to his private life, and he didn't have to explain to anyone. He knew there were rumours about him, some probably even knew he'd been involved once with a fellow soldier, but he was able to keep the gossip to a minimum by living off camp and keeping his relationships strictly professional. On such a foul night he was pleased his flat would be warm and dry, if not overly welcoming.

He was concentrating hard on his driving and nearly missed it, a shape sitting on the grass verge. On closer looking he was startled to see a figure of a girl, soaking wet, sobbing her heart out. She had no coat, only a thin dress, was soaked to the skin and appeared to be very drunk. He pulled over, always the gentleman. That was something he remembered Molly used to tease him about, he always had to do the right thing. As he approached this pitiful sight he instantly recognised her.

Her hair was soaked to her face, her eyes swollen from crying, her delicate frame shivering in the cold wet night air.

"Bella?" Charles cautiously asked. "It me Charles." He approached her slowly hands spread out in front of him to show he was no threat.

She whipped her head up and just sobbed some more. He reached her and sat gently down next to her. He was soaked, but failed to notice. There was no one around. The contents of her bag scattered across the verge. An empty bottle of vodka by her side.

"Are you hurt?" He assessed the situation. Although her clothes weren't appropriate for the weather they seemed to be intact and she showed no signs of injury.

She slowly shook her head. "The bastards with someone else. Always has been...used me." She sobbed. Charles instantly understood. She was here, broken all because of a man.

"Come on let's get you home." He gathered her belongings and stuffed everything into her handbag. He then slowly coaxed her to her very unsteady feet and moved her towards the car. Her legs giving way underneath her. He realised just how inappropriate this may look retuning a drunk soldier back to his camp this time of night. But he knew he had no choice. He'd deal with the fall out later. She was too drunk to be left alone.

"Any of your friends around?" He asked hopefully. "You alone?" She just nodded.

"Can I call anyone? Get a friend or something." He wasn't sure what he should do, but leaving her in the rain alone was not an option.

"S'okay. Called 'er. S'comin. Later." Was all he managed to decider from her drunken speech.

He'd never seen Bella drunk before. Had heard of a few wild things she'd got up to when he was with Molly , but he could see she was very drunk.

She got into the car with a large amount of help from Charles. He grinned slightly at the effort it took him. Molly always complained his 4x4 was almost an obstacle challenge to get in to when you're short, and he always replied with good humour;

"Shut the fuck up Dawes".

Finally getting her settled he leaned over to strap her in.

"Bella you're going to have to tell me where you live. On camp?"

Quickly losing consciousness she slurred out her address. A small set of flats the other end of town. He was grateful he didn't have to take her back to camp. With her final words to him that she'd let him know if she was going to be sick, he set off to her flat. She remained asleep and silent for the entire journey only waking as he arrived.

Instantly on waking she jumped out of the car and vomited everywhere. He held her hair back as best he could, but her clothing and shoes had not escaped the fallout. Her little body racked itself again in sobs, and despite the sick covering her all Charles could do was hold her. Offer her some comfort, be there for her in a way he hadn't been for Molly when her life fell apart after their breakup.

As she calmed down he lifted her in his arms, carrying her like a bride over the flat's threshold, calling out to her flat mates. No one appeared and with finger pointing directions from Bella he found her room and gently sat her in the bed.

She didn't resist. She was cold, wet and covered in her own vomit. He knew she needed to get warm and sleep. He started to take her clothes off, checking if she was ok with it each item he shed an item. She only nodded and looked into his beautiful brown eyes, accepting his help. When he had got her down to bra and pants and had slipped her under the duvet, she fell asleep instantly. It was only then he realised he too needed to sort his clothing out. Taking off his jacket and shirt he discarded them on the floor.

Quietly making his way to the bathroom he cleaned himself up a bit, and filled a glass with water and hunted out some pain killers. Took her in a towel for her hair. She was sitting up when he got back, running her fingers through her wet hair.

"Thank you." She said. Sounding like a little girl. "Sorry got a bit pissed." Was the following understatement.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and offered her his items, totally forgetting he was half dressed.

"Yes. You did." He answered back. "You want to tell me what that was about?"

She shocked her head and taking a mouthful of water slipped the painkillers down.

"I just want to sleep." Was all she offered, running the towel briefly over her face and hair, then lay down and turned away from him.

He was in two minds to leave her but he knew he couldn't stay, besides she reassured him flats mates, and friends would be back soon. So he stayed as she fell quickly back asleep. He unashamedly once stroked her hair as she looked so peaceful, so like Molly when she slept. His heart ached in wishing it was Molly lying in front of him.

Then coming to his senses he realised the room stank of her vomit laced clothes. He gathered them up, including his shirt, the jacket was wearable to drive home in.

Quietly closing the bedroom door behind him, jacket slung over his arm, he carried her clothing bundle and his shirt down the stairs intending to find the washing machine. As his foot hit the final tread he watched as the front door burst open.

The person who'd entered mad with worry and concern not registering his presence at first.

"Bells. Bells." She called out. "Where the fu..." Then she stopped dead. The air left her lungs.

She stopped at the sight of him, standing half naked in front of her, in Bella's flat. She couldn't understand what she was seeing. Dreadful thoughts flashed across her mind at a dangerous speed, mixed with appreciation of him being there.

All he could do was stare back. This looked wrong he knew that, but his first thoughts were how beautiful she was after all these years. He went to smile at her, reach out to her, touch her but all that was stopped dead when she yelled out to him.

"Charles just what the fuck is going on?" Then shaking her head and pushing past him on the stairs she ran into Bella's room.

Charles was rooted to the spot, could only turn because she'd physically moved him out of the way. He'd watched her disappear up the stairs, unsure if he should go after her. In the end all he could do was once again was let her run away from him up the stairs, his shocked senses slowly returning, he strangle out her name.

"Molly." 


	19. Chapter 19

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Chapter 19**

She didn't know what to do, she was trapped. Bella was fast asleep on her bed, all snuggled down and out of her misery for now. She had called Molly as soon as she left her ex's house, already on the way to being half cut. She was hysterical, heartbroken and needed her big sister. Molly got there as quickly as she could, as it turned out it wasn't quick enough. 

Feeling a failure when she arrived, she was too late, she added two and two together. Bella, her baby sister stripped half naked in bed, and Charles, her ex, bare from the waist down carrying a pile of stinking clothes. It was like a scene from a not so funny movie. The Armageddon she'd seen on the pavement leading to the flat, and all down the side of Charles' car added to the validity of what she saw. Despite the clues nothing had prepared her for the sight that initially greeted her though, she didn't know what to do. Her mind was unable to process everything she saw, everything she knew. She was bewildered. Four years, it had been four long lonely years since she'd last seen him, and suddenly he had been there standing in front of her. And so unable to cope, she chose instead to hide away, she stayed firmly in Bella's bedroom. 

Molly could hear him moving around downstairs, cupboard doors opening, the washing machine being turned on, the noise of the boiling kettle and clinking of mugs. All signs he was still there, still a presence in her sister's space, and was waiting. He hadn't left, she thought he would, surprised, she had expected him to run, but for once he hadn't ran and she felt trapped.

Sliding down the door and sitting on the floor, hugging her knees chewing her nails, she considered her options. Bella slept on, the torture of the day, and the vodka allowing her to fall into an exhausted sleep. She was safe thanks to Charles, she had reached home. He'd been there when Molly couldn't be. He'd looked after her. She knew all this, her mind never considered anything else. That wasn't Charles' way. He loved Bella as a sister, he'd cared for her as only a big brother would. The fact that he had done this made her appreciate him, she wanted to go downstairs, do the mature thing and see him. Thank him, talk about what had gone on. Yet Molly didn't feel mature, she felt selfish, angry that he still cared, and surprised how just those few seconds of seeing him affected her. She felt heartbroken all over again, and here he was for once waiting for her...but…she just couldn't do it. 

She was stubborn, he'd always said that was her worst fault, she knew it was too, and that's why she was sitting on the cold floor too scared to move in case he heard her. They had been so happy once, and never once, she delicately snorted, during these happy times would she never once have believed she be hiding from him.

At one time he had meant everything to her, they had meant everything to each other, but then that stopped, and she had to move on, leave and start again. It had taken her years to do it, helped by friends who supported her, by the Army who encouraged her, but she did it. The end of them, the beginning of her new life without him had been hard, never thinking she'd be happy again. Then suddenly one day she realised that she was happy again, the smile to her life returned. Then she met Ben, who just like Charles had all those years ago, believed in her, made her believe in herself, and showed her that she could trust again. Her life although she wouldn't describe it as perfect, she could hand on heart say it was almost bleeding there. Wondering if she went down to see him again would she ruin all that, would she be betraying the girl she had become, the person Ben had slowly and carefully fixed.

Eventually he left. Gentle, almost symbolically, closing the front door behind him. He'd waited and waited but eventually realised she wasn't coming down, and so he did the only thing he could do….he left. Driving away regretting everything. He regretted he wasn't strong enough to climb those 13 stairs to knock on the door to speak to her. He regretted that the only explanation of the scene she saw was written on a piece of paper on the kitchen side. But most of all he regretted that he didn't mean anything to her any more, that he didn't even mean enough for her to speak to him, however briefly, even after four years. And so he left, realising that the woman he still loved chose to hide herself away from him, rather than face him. 

Hurrying through the carpark her nerves almost got the better of her. She held in her arms his shirt. Washed and ironed, all to his exacting standards, careful with her precious cargo. It was the least she could do, and it was the excuse she need to see him again. She had felt ashamed when she had heard him leave. Had crept downstairs to find his note, the flat feeling strangely empty without him in it. Although he'd been there just moments she found the space without his presence flooded her with feelings of remembered loneliness. A strange sensation, living, existing without someone for four whole years, then seeing them again for seconds causing so many feelings to be reignited in her heart.

She continued on her way more determined, she had to swallowed a little bubble of excitement she was developing at the thought of seeing him again. She wasn't expected, he didn't know she was coming. In fact she hadn't planned on seeing him at all, but as the days went by she knew she needed to.

It had been nearly a week since he'd rescued Bella and since that day Molly had been unsettled. Her life not on the steady course it had been these past months. The emotions she still had for him had started to haunt her day and night. She was drawn back to him, fully accepting the emotional hand grenade she was about to throw into her settled life.

It was only six weeks until her big day. The once in a life time day she had been planning for over a year. Her and Ben's new adventure together, start of a whole new life. She knew she had the jitters, there had been so much to organise, so many decisions to make, but her needing to see Charles again wasn't down to those. She firmly believed that she had truly moved on, the huge plans for her future excited her, Charles was her past, but she still needed to see him just once more, to reinforce her in the new journey she was to undertake. To prove that apart their lives were better. That four years ago they may have broken, but they both were better people now because of it; it was the right thing to do.

There was a knock on his door and his secretary without stopping and waiting popped his head around the door, something that annoyed Charles and he purposely didn't look up to acknowledge him.

"Sir, the Guard House on the blower. Says there's a Corporal Dawes to see you."

Charles' head shot up. It had been a week no telephone call, no text, he was giving up hope that she was ever going to get in touch with him. He'd appreciated that the situation she found him in looked dire, he'd only hoped Bella had remembered enough to tell her that his intentions were, are, entirely honourable. He foolishly took her silence though as to the contrary.

"Errr. Yes. Send her along…No I'll go and get her….No in fact you go. Yes I'll…..er….see her. Bring her here. Thank you." He replied to his increasingly confused secretary.

He knew he had a few moments to compose himself. He felt excited, worried, and anxious. He felt almost too much, he was meeting his Molly again. She had come to see him, had sort him out, and it was the most positive thing that had happened to him for a while.

Major Charles James was always smart, always perfect in his uniform but still he started to fuss. Smoothing out imaginary creases, readjusting his combat trousers, running his hands through his hair, remembering her constant teases about his locks. He'd always kept his hair short when working, but there were times, holidays, deployments that he would miss the routine cut and those few extra centimetres would always lead to his curls springing up all over his head with a will of their own. Molly used to laugh as he'd try to smooth them back down for them only to bounce up again, frequently telling him she found his curly locks one of his cutest features. As he gazed into the small mirror on the wall he cursed that he had only had a haircut a week ago, and there was no wayward curls on his head that she might, just might, have been tempted to touch.

The knock on the door broke his day dreaming, he barked, too efficiently, for her to enter and cringed at just how harsh he sounded.

And suddenly there she stood, smart, proud, Molly the perfect soldier, offering him the perfect salute and smile. Returning it felt strange, yet familiar, and he was very much aware that moments after her entrance they were alone, together in the same room after four years of being apart. How he wished this meeting wasn't a stiff and formal one, all he wanted was to turn to her and grab her into a hug. Instead he put her at ease straight away, thankful she seemed comfortable in his company, and directed her to a chair opposite his desk.

"Good to see you" They were the understated words of his entire life; it was so much more than good to see her. They conveyed only the smallest about of his emotions.

"Sir." She replied, still smiling at him. "Good to see you too." Her eyes roamed over the face she never believed she'd ever get tired of seeing. A face that she used to know so intimately, there were some changes, the years had done that, but only a few. He still was the Charles she had loved.

"Think we can drop the Sir, Molly, don't you? It's Charles." He smirked raising his eyebrows questioningly.

"Yeah. I guess we can…Charles." And then she giggled. A small but equally joyous sound in this sterile office.

"Oh no." He laughed with her. Something in all the months he had been there he hadn't done once. "Not that again….what's so fucking hilarious about my name? You laughed the first time I told you it too." His face settled into a peaceful smile remembering their first date.

"I know. Sorry. It's just…you know…it's been a while." Her eyes glazed over with tears of sorrow briefly. The memories they had were good, but they were also hard.

"I know. It's lovely to see you though. Really lovely." His eyes held hers and were equally glossy. Both remembering the good and the bad times they had shared. "Look about the other night. It wasn't what it looked like." He started.

"Shit Charles. I know. Bells told me what happened. I guessed anyway, I know what's she's like with drama and vodka. Thanks." She took a deep breath in. "Beside remember I know you too, that's not your style. You're a good 'n' remember?"

"I'll take that as a compliment shall I?" He mocked at her Gran's description of him she'd frequently used.

The conversation paused briefly, he drew his chair around to sit on her side of the desk, sitting closer and opposite to her. "How's she doing? Bella? Bet she had a killer of a head the next day."

"To right mate. Silly cow. Got herself all worked up over a fella. She was stupid. Getting there though. She said to say thanks and that."

"No problem. I'm just pleased I could help." He looked at Molly directly hoping she'd understand. He'd done it as much for Bella as for Molly. "She's like a little sister to me you know." The Dawes family has always treated him like their own, and he in turn developed a fierce fondness for them all.

"God you can have her." Molly laughed, but she knew, he was loyal Charles, would help anyone, but especially those he held dear to him. "Thanks. You really looked after her, when I couldn't. You always did."

"So?" Charles changed the subject, it was straying on to ground he was unsure about covering in his office. "What about you? How's Molly Dawes?" Then he realise just how insensitive he may have been. Her life may have changed in a way he dared hope it hadn't. "Shit it still is Dawes? Isn't it?"

She couldn't meet his eyes, guilt washed over her, instead she pointed to her name tab on her top. "As you can see, I'm still going by that name." Her voice sounded sad. She played with her fingernails desperate to change the subject. "I'm good thanks, and you? When did you get back?"

"Couple of months ago. Had Bella in front of me within days!" He joked, but still Molly looked uncomfortable. "So" His head pointed to the bag. "What's that? For me?"

"Oh God yes." She stuttered. "I completely forgot. One shirt, clean and ironed."

"You shouldn't have, but thanks." He gratefully accepted his laundry.

"Oh I didn't mate. Bella did that and all mime too as punishment." Loving how this comment made his eyes wrinkle in amusement, a look she wished she could bottle for her sad days. "Mind you to be fair she won't be drinking for a while…a long while." They both nodded at each other and smiled. Both had so much to say, but still had nothing to talk about.

Her job was done and the conversation seemed to have dried up almost too quickly between them. "Look I should go." She said.

Standing up quickly to match her, he hardly had time to take in that their meeting was over. He offered out his hand to her, she hesitated and for one glorious moment he thought she was going to step into him for a hug. Instead she accepted his hand.

"It was good to see you Dawes." He offered as she turned towards his door.

She smiled at yet another memory they shared, how nearly ten years ago that had been the words they had used at their very start. Where everything seemed possible. She replied the only way she knew how.

"Ditto." And then she was gone.

Blindly she hurried along the corridors, unfamiliar with this camp, losing her way. She needed to find her car, she needed privacy. Her lip quivered with the effort she was putting into holding it together. She'd known it would be hard, but she hadn't expected to see him again would be quite so painful, to have stirred up everything again. All those dark, useless emotions that had to be pushed way down so she could move on, live her life, were now up front and centre again in her world. Berating herself, knowing it was her, and only her who had opened this door to all the heart ache again, heart ache over a man who had not chosen her.

Fumbling for her car keys she heard her name being called. Concerned and fast approaching behind her. She knew if she turned she wouldn't be able to control her feelings, so chose to ignore. Blindly continuing, the tears held in her eyes making it almost impossible to see.

"Mols. Hey Mols it's me Bels." The voice reached her side as Molly yanked her door open. Bella instantly saw the tears, no longer able to be held, streaming down her sister's face. "Ah Shit. What's happened?" And she pulled her into a tight hug that lasted moments, but helped calm Molly slightly.

"Nothing. Well. Not really. I went to see Charles, that's all." They both got into the car for privacy. Molly in no state to be driving, she needed time to pull herself together. "It was just nice, that's all." She simplified.

Bella just sat there, watching her big sister fall apart, over a love affair that ended four years ago. It was obvious though to her that while Molly physically might have moved on, emotionally she hadn't. "What you going to do?" She asked.

"I don't know." Was all she could say. They both sat there for a while. "Shit." Molly cried, her emotional storm gradually subsiding. Reality returning "I've got to meet Ben. I'm going to be late."

Ejecting her sister form the car she pulled away, slipping back on the happy Molly Dawes mask that Ben would be expecting from her. Trying as each mile passed to push all those feelings down, deep down about Charles.

He'd given lifesaving, life threatening orders but nothing was as terrifying as this. Nothing in his whole life had prepared him for this, watching his son on the rugby pitch, the victim of a high tackle, lying unconscious before his eyes. He ran onto the pitch, despite old injuries he out stripped everyone with his pace. All professionalism, all training forgotten, shouting as he ran for the pitch Medic to help. His heart stilled as he sank down on his knees next to his Sam who lay there still, unconscious, but Charles was useless, hopeless in this moment and unable to help his son. Memories of Fingers, Geraint flooded back into his brain, stomach acid flooded his mouth, and he jumped up and vomited. He couldn't lose Sam. Elvis watched as he reached his friend's side, as did briefly the Medic, both shocked as to how destroyed Charles looked. Concern for Sam though drawing their attention away from him abruptly.

"Come on Mate. Let them do their job." Elvis said gently pulling him away, the situation assessed. It had been a surprise for Sam, both his Dad and Uncle Elvis turning up to watch him play for his school team on this dull grey Friday afternoon. He had wanted to impress them so much. He played hard and had played tough, hoping to gain their admiration.

"Shit Elvis. Is he Ok?" Charles struggled to remove the hands Elvis had on his forearms, attempting to stop Charles from getting in the way.

"Come on Charlie Boy. Let them get on. He's just knocked out." It was reasonable Elvis thought for him to be upset, but this level of fear, the physical response Charles had had to Sam's injury was beyond normal. It was these situations Charles had been running away from, emotions like these he was trying to avoid. They all thought he'd cured them, but seeing him today Elvis knew he still had a long way to go.

Eventually the ambulance came, and Sam regained consciousness, sore head and mortified. They all knew a trip to the hospital, tests and overnight stay was the least of their problems. Someone had to tell Rebecca! Elvis, ever the friend, ever the gentleman volunteered for that role, and followed Charles and Sam in the ambulance in Charles' car.

He stayed with them for the next couple of hours. Long enough to hear that Sam was fine, mild concussion and would need an overnight stay for observation. He stayed long enough to unfortunately bump into Rebecca, who was understandably worried about her son, but still had time to pass a few vile comments Elvis' way. Their relationship never had been a good one, they both never understood the attraction Charles had for either of them.

Eventually though he had to leave his friend with his snappy ex-wife and very embarrassed Godson. Apologising, they were having friends over this weekend and Georgie in her blooming state need help. With many thanks from Charles, he left, with the promise that these two friends needed to talk, really talk, and Charles agreed. He too had realised that his reaction was extreme; he'd face nothing like that since his promotion, quite often away from any action, now more of a behind the desk type of soldier. He dreaded to think how he would have reacted if that had been a live situation in combat.

The next twenty four hours for Charles were hell, not only did he have to endure sleeping on an uncomfortable NHS chair by Sam's bedside overnight, but he also had to endure his ex-wife's fluctuating moods. She blamed him from the accident to the quality of the coffee. She turned from sweetly nice to him and Sam one minute, to nasty and cruel the next. By the time the late afternoon came the following day Charles was exhausted and only slightly happy once he heard the news that Sam was being discharged. His drive back home was long and tortuous. There had been no doubt that Sam would go back with Rebecca, no suggestion that he could come too. Ashamed relief flooded through his sleep deprived brain, at least the he'd get away from Rebecca. So he had the long tiring drive to face on his own, but at least it was in the longed for silence.

Sunday morning was cold, but bright. He woke after a long refreshing sleep and went for his usual run, invigorated. Today would be a better day and after checking on how Sam was he jumped into the car and headed to Elvis'. He needed to talk, and was going to use the excuse of taking them the fresh pastries they loved, as a means for this to happen.

Georgie and Elvis, when they were at home loved their lazy Sunday mornings, their indulgence in their busy lives, and over the past months Charles had occasionally re-joined them again. Taking in their company, reading the newspaper over the most enjoyable breakfast rolls ever. He knew he'd be welcome.

She couldn't work it out to begin with. Her brain was fogged over with sleep. She stood at the opened front door looking at him.

"What you doing here?" She asked.

"Well that's an nice welcome." Charles laughed and motioned to be allowed to go in, holding up his bag of treats. She automatically stepped aside.

"Course." She replied, then suddenly realising the situation speeded up after him as he entered the kitchen.

"Charlie Boy?" Elvis called questionably out to him from the sink, Georgie now fully awake joined him and he kissed her on the head.

"What you doing here?" He asked nervously, the penny dropping for him too.

"That's exactly what your lovely wife said." He laughed as he plopped the pastries on a plate, knowing they would be the deal sweetener. Sitting down and helping himself to his favourite. "You both need to work on your welcomes." He teased.

"Course your welcome." Elvis attempted, but Charles caught his eye.

"But….?" Charles asked, raising his eyebrows emphasising the point. "Shit. I'm interrupting. Oh hell. Sorry mate. I'll go." He started to wipe his hands down on a napkin and rose to leave.

"Stay." They both cried in unison. Elvis continued. "It's just we have some company that's all. But it's ok." He saw the uncertainty in his eyes and was just about to speak when behind him a voice spoke.

"Stay Charles. You've brought breakfast after all." And there she was his Molly, sleep creased and still her sleepwear, all fuzzy around the edges as only a good night's sleep can give you, but still beautiful.

"Molly?" They all shot back at her.

Suddenly there was flurry of activity and chatter in an attempt to disperse the uncomfortableness these four friends found themselves in. It was something they had done many times before, shared breakfast together, but things had changed a lot since then, for all of them. Sitting down, openly watching her, he couldn't help but smile. It felt so good doing this with her again. She caught his eye and offered a him a nervous but happy smile, he took it and returned it.

"We, err…had a bit of a celebration last night." Georgie's started, as she saw Charles' eyes eventually wander around the kitchen mess.. There were bottles all over the kitchen sides, glasses still in the sink begging to be washed.

"Look like it was a good one." He replied, and went to grab the juice form the fridge. "Anything special?" Elvis set the glasses down and sneaked a look at Georgie, hoping she'd continue on this awkward topic. Charles needed to know.

"Yeah. It was. Really good." Georgie hesitated.

He saw the numerous cards on the sideboard, the congratulation sentiments wrote all over them, prettily wrapped gifts waiting to be opened alongside. "Bit early to celebrate the baby isn't it?" he questioned, he was suspicious.

The atmosphere was thick, Elvis looked down, and Georgie slid her hand across the table to hold his. He allowed it to happen, startled by her move.

"No we weren't celebrating the baby." She said. "We were…."

"It was for." Molly spat out gently. "They threw a party for me. They were celebrating for me."

Fear trickled through his body. The cards, the champagne, the hold Georgie had on his hand. It was all making sense. "What are you celebrating?" He quietly asked her.

She looked so anxious, so concerned, worried how her next words would affect him. She knew he'd have to know but had hoped it wouldn't have been her who told him, that the deed would have been over and done with by the time he found out. Then that way maybe he'd have privacy to take in her news. Every moment though that she stalled now they were in this dreadful position of fuelling the disappointment she knew he'd feel.

"I'm. Well, everything is changing. Charles. I'm….well I didn't want you to find out like this…but I'm leaving the Army. My papers come through next week. Last night was my farewell party."

"Your leaving." He looked at her amazed. He couldn't understand. She was brilliant. He thought she was Army through and through. She was throwing so much away. "Why?"

"Well we just thought it was best. We've a lot going on in the next few weeks, and I can't do everything. So we both decided that the time was right, before the next step, and that and leave."

He was confused, mind spinning but he instantly picked up on the use of the term 'we' in her sentences.

Elvis and Georgie just sat there frozen. Knowing their presence was

unnecessary, but both unable to leave. 

Quietly, calmly he asked. "Best for who Molly?" And then slightly louder, firmer. "And please tell me who the fuck 'we' is when they are at home?" Georgie's hands long forgotten as he held his first out on the table in front of him.

She was taken aback by his coldness, but was too confused by it all and desperate to be honest with him.

"Oh. Shit yeah, sorry…I mean Ben and me. We thought it was for the best for me to leave now, rather than afterwards. What with the move and all that."

He stood and walked over to her, Elvis stood too, and alert, slightly concerned as to how Charles was reacting. Charles gently reached out and stroked her check, just once as though he was proving to himself that this was real. That this dream of a girl wasn't going to turn his world into nightmare.

"Who's Ben Molly?" He asked.

She looked up at him, he still towered over her, his stern face looking down at her.

"He's my partner" She quietly replied, and his world broke.


	20. Chapter 20

Everything Starts Somewhere

Chapter 20

She stood with a cup of tea warming her hands. Today was going to be a good day she thought. She really hoped so as she stared out of the sitting room window. The nerves however were kicking in and she needed this quiet time to pull herself together. The rest of the house, she was grateful, were still asleep for now, or so she thought. 

"Hey." A soft voice called from behind her. "You ok?" 

Turning to look at him she wondered just how she'd got so lucky. This man cared so much about her. 

"Yeah. Just couldn't sleep. You?" 

"Don't think I closed my eyes once." He admitted his excitement too. 

Grinning she accepted the hug he had wrapped her in. Both of them just staying there in that moment for now. Today was going to be a busy day, their day, and this was probably the only free time they'd have together alone. Their new exciting life together started today. 

"Can't wait to get today started Molly." He said as he turned to stand next to her, his arm still slung over her shoulders protectively. 

"They'll all be waking soon I guess." She nodded to the bedroom doors. The house was full with friends and family. "Wanting some scran." 

He nodded. "My parents will meet us there, did I tell you that?" He said. Then chuckled. "God I can't wait to get the bloody legal gubbins over... and then Miss Dawes we can party." 

"Ben." She slapped his arm playfully. "Today's not just about the party, it about the start of something." She laughed back. "But yeah I'm bloody looking forward to the party too." 

Noises came from upstairs signs the others were waking. 

"Looks like the troops are stirring." Ben said. 

She nodded, a wave of excitement hitting her. Realisation that today was the day she'd been waiting for, and she was to share it with so many special people in her life. 

Ben looked at her, held her by the shoulders to face him. He dipped his amazing blue eyes to look into hers. 

"So Miss Dawes! You ready for this? You're sure?" 

It amazed her how alike they were. He came across so confident in his role, never doubted his own professional ability, but on the inside he was just as insecure as her, never feeling worthy of the life he had, or was getting. 

"I'm 100% certain Ben. Today's going to be bloody brilliant. Thank you, for asking me and that...well just thank you." Smiling at him, reassuring him there were no signs of cold feet. 

He wasn't fooled that easily though. He knew her too well, she had worries. 

"You think he'll come?" He gently asked. Molly wanting him to be there, was difficult for him to truly understand, but he knew it was very important to her. 

"I don't know." She sadly replied, unsure she wanted to have this conversation with him on today of all days. He only had so much understanding in him. 

"Do you want him to come?" 

"Of course I do. That's why I invited him." She answered without hesitation. "I just don't know if he will. I still want us to be friends." 

"I know you do. You're sometimes just too nice." He looked sadly at her. Knowing no matter what happened over the years, however her life changed, Charles James would always have a piece of Molly's beautiful heart. 

Preparing herself for today had taken Molly months and months, getting actually ready for the today took a lot less time than she thought. Bella and Jacqui, giggling excitedly, both helping her with hair and makeup. Loving the pomp and ceremony of the day. 

Drinks flowed in the bedroom as they got ready, enjoying their special girly time together. Pampering themselves, enjoying the luxury of sharing this special day. The dress Molly had chosen was everything she had wanted, delicate and perfect, and because of those very facts she had definitely decided she would only put it on at the very last moment. It was too beautiful to spoil by creasing or marking it. It was the most expensive piece of clothing she'd ever bought, encouraged by her two friends to do so, a dream piece of couture, almost as though it was made for her. Running her fingers over the vintage lace a wave of regret that the dress was indeed perfect, and would have been something she could have imagined wearing for Charles. She struggled to push this thought aside, but valiantly, and eventually, did so. 

The house emptied as the time ticked by, everyone suited and booted in their finest, leaving only behind Ben and Bella. They were all travelling to the civic hall offices together. Logistically it just made sense, Bella argued, and besides Molly and Ben both wanted to be with each other as much as possible before their appointment. Gaining reassurance from each other's company. 

Eventually however after a period of frantic activity, last minute glitches ironed out, she was left all alone, in the peace and quiet she longed for. She had nothing to do but wait until it was her time. 

Her time in the Army had come to an end weeks before. A strange feeling giving up something you loved, taking a huge chance on an unknown future. Leaving behind a calling as well as a total life style. In those first few weeks she had been amazed at how lost she had felt, how much of her life was ingrained in the military way, hoping today's ceremony would ground her once more. Making her more settled in that she had made the right choice. Yet she would always be grateful. Her life in the Army had given her so much, shown her capable to do things even she didn't think she ever would. It had also been the place she had met the two most influential men in her life Charles, and ultimately Ben. 

That day she told Charles, broke the news to him about leaving the Army still confused her. As soon as she began, tried to explain to him the reasons why, and about Ben, he ran. Turned on his heels and left the house. No words, no excuses, he just left.

Stunned for a second she allowed him to go, but only for a second, and then despite only being in her PJs she ran after him. 

"Charles stop." She shouted banging on the car window. He hadn't driven off the drive way yet, but she could tell he was thinking about it, she then stepped in front of the car. "Can we talk?" 

His face was white, his eyes were unseeing. He looked broken. She climbed into passenger side, consumed with guilt. 

"Charles. I'm sorry. I knew you'd be upset. It's just the best thing for me that's all." Her voice pleaded with him, her eyes searching his face in recognition of her words.

Slowly he turned, drew on a courage he no longer thought he had. Realising he needed to react to her, he couldn't leave her just sitting there.

"Sorry. Molly. That was unfair. Congratulations." But it was a cold offer. 

"Thanks." She replied. "But I know you don't mean it." 

Running his hand threw his hair he considered his thoughts carefully, trying to put his feelings into words. 

"It's hard that's all. I guess. A surprise even. Always thought you'd stay in, and if you didn't it would be your choice not someone else's." 

"What do you mean?" She shot back. "It is my choice." Her defences automatically rising. 

"Is it? Is it really?" He looked at her. "So this Ben what's he got to do with it? Seems he's pushing you into it from where I am sitting." 

"Bloody hell Charles." She angrily answered back. Raising her voice, it came across louder than expected in the confines of the car. "You know nothing about this or Ben for that matter. It is what I want." 

"But why Molly? Ben snaps his bloody fingers and you give everything up?" 

"No. It's not like that." She quietly replied, unsure how to explain. 

"Really? Look Molly, I know you, you're a bloody good soldier. Brilliant at your job. You need the Army as much as it needs you. You're throwing your life away." He shouted back at her, Major mode fully engaged in his criticism of her plan. 

"No I'm not." She hated that he was making her doubt herself. 

He wasn't winning, he was hoping to dissuade her, as though she was one of his soldiers coming to him with her decision for the first time. Yet he realised he had no right to interfere, he knew that, but he was because he cared, and because he thought she was wrong. He tried a different tack.

"So you and this Ben? How long this be going on for? How long Molly?"

His question startled her. She turned fully in her seat to look at him, a slight smile spreading across her face, realisation that maybe just maybe he was jealous. 

"I've known him for a while. He's Army too. Well ex-Army now. But it's been a year I guess." 

"Shit Molly a year. A fucking year and you're throwing it all away for a bloke?" His heart lurched, they had had four years together and they had never made it as far as Molly seemed to have made it with Ben. His heart's pain caused his face to react, it twisted in disgust. 

At his words a huge grin spread across her face. She knew this sulky man, this tortured look on his face betrayed him. He was jealous and it felt good, because jealousy meant he still had feelings for her, perhaps even feelings like her own towards him. 

Slowly very slowly she started to speak.

"You are a pranet at times Charles James." Then she laughed at the anger rolling over his face reacting to her laugh. He felt hurt by her words. "Ben's not my partner partner. He's going to be my business partner. That's all. I'm leaving the Army cause I'm going to set up a business with him. Going to run our own teaching firm." 

Relief at first washed over him, the reprieve he was given he totally accepted...she wasn't Ben's. Closely followed by the shame he felt at his behaviour. He'd behaved like this once before. Too jealous to trust her, believe her, or even listen to her and it had so nearly gone wrong. It was only her courage, walking behind him on the dusty desert road to the covered mass, which had made him realise how wrong he'd been not to listen. Accepting he'd been wrong to doubt her then, and it was her courage once again that was saving him from the same mistake. 

They had talked that day, after she cleared up the misunderstanding over Ben in her life. They talked more than they had talked for years. Molly, to be fair, did most of the talking, she had so much to tell. Her life changed, continued, grew, after they ended, unlike his which had just stayed still. She told him all about her new life after him. A surprise posting to Catterick very soon after they ended. The irony of it not lost on them, as once there she was close enough for them to have maybe worked. 

It was at Catterick however that she started to heal, restarted her life again. She had a role in teaching the Medic recruits and even went out into the community as part of a teaching outreach team to impart her skills. Teaching was, what she modestly stated, she became brilliant at. She thrived in that environment and so like him, promotion arrived due to the gusto she had thrown herself into her new roles. Focusing her life souly on work, and excluded all personal attachments, feeling to bruised to trust again. 

That was until she met Ben. A fellow Medic like her. They got along from the beginning, he helped her, encouraged her, he saved her. She loved this cheeky caring man, who became an almost surrogate father to her. As she told her story she joked to Charles that he was even older than him, looking up at him while she said it, a face full of the well loved Molly Dawes cheek he had so missed. She told Charles she loved the bones of Ben and often wondered how she had got so lucky to have him in her life, he looked out for her far more than her own father ever did. 

He was with her through every step of the way, a friend whenever she needed one. In fact she eventually moved in with him, with his two dogs and his amazing professionally trained chef of a husband, John. The three of them lived happy lives. Frequently on opposite shifts, going days without seeing each other, but still they became the best of friends. 

The reason, she told Charles, she moved in with Ben and John was that she could save, they all could save. It began as a joke, but the idea soon became a serious one. The idea to set up a private teaching consultancy firm had initially been Ben's, he was coming up to Army retirement age and needed to plan his future, the more he talked the more they realised just how doable it was. 

As they investigated it more the three friends realised how hard it would be, and it took them well over a year of applying, saving and planning to get to the stage they were at. Her leaving the Army, and their move down to the south east part of the country, were all part of their many steps in their grand plans. They both needed to devote their time and energy to the new business, which is why she had to leave the Army. Why she had to break away from everything she knew to try something else out. To try to be brilliant at it. 

The invite therefore Charles now held in his hands was to celebrate all this, the legalisation of Ben and Molly's new business. As them finally becoming each other's business partners. Close family were joining them at the civic centre for the official legal side of it all. Then in true Molly fashion, they were throwing 'a hell of a party' for one and all. It was to this very party that she had, with great hope, invited him to attend. 

He remembered it was her courage that first opened his eyes to how amazing Molly was, and something he often lacked compared to her. Charles sat there spinning the invite around in his fingers. He was still unsure. He probably wouldn't have been brave enough to go, she probably knew that, so she had invited both him and Sam, to make it even more difficult for him not to attend.

Sam was so excited when Charles casually mentioned the party to him. It had been a long time since Molly had dropped out of his life too, but he'd never forgotten her. They had stayed in touch, more than she had with Charles. Birthdays and Christmas though about the only communication they had with each other, but it still was enough for Sam to remember her with fondness. So when the invite came he begged his Dad to say yes. 

Charles however was unsure. It was a big, well meaning step she had put in his way. She was trying to help him, they had reconnected as friends again. Their meeting that Sunday had been enjoyable for them both. They talked easily, laughed like the old friends they were, and on leaving they had even managed a hug that lasted a second or two longer than it should have. And so since that day, weeks ago she had not been out of Charles' mind, and then when the formal invite came his first feelings were of sheer joy, as it would be another chance to see Molly again. 

However he also knew, she had warned him, that she'd be inviting all her old friends. That meant what was left of the old gang from two section. For years and years he had avoided them. Never met up with them again socially or professionally since he left, and to actually do so again by choosing to attend a party, one that he knew they would be at, was testing his courage. 

Of course Sam got his own way. And here he was sitting waiting for Sam to finish getting ready. They had a couple of hours drive ahead of them before they got there, but they were going. The two James boys were off to see their Molly and to wish her well. And for Charles, he also admitted he was going to face up to the men who he thought he had let down. 

So far her day, hers and Ben's special day, had been perfect. Her family were there, as well as his. Even his daughters from his first marriage, came. The pride Molly felt having all her friends and family gathered together on this day was immeasurable. She was pleased to share her happiness, and the party they threw was just for that very reason. 

As the afternoon progress she became more concerned. Half heartily enjoying herself while constantly look at the door each time it opened, raising her eyes expectantly, only to be disappointed each time when it wasn't him. Each time he failed to appear she became more disappointed that she had offered a symbol of friendship to him which was appearing to be rejected. She could on some level understand why, but still it hurt. She wanted him there. She wanted him to be proud of her, what she had achieved. 

"He'll be here." Elvis shouted the words into her ears above the loud music. "He said he would be. He doesn't let folks down if he can help it. You know that Mols." 

She turned to him and gave a half hearted smile. "You reckon? You think he'll come?" Feeling slightly reassured by Elvis' words. She knew him and Charles had been in touch about his travel plans for the day. 

"Don't worry Mols. I know Charlie Boy. He said he would be here. Besides, you've got to remember it's a long drive for him. He is posted in the arse end of nowhere these day." She laughed at that. Elvis would always be a London boy, anywhere outside London was the arse end of nowhere to him.

"Yeah. I guess it is. It's just you know..." 

Georgie came waddling over with Jacqui.

"Hey this is meant to be a party." She blared out. "And since I can't even touch a drop of the good stuff I insist that you do." 

With that she thrust a glass of champagne towards Molly , catching her arm as she did so and spilled most it down Molly's beautiful dress. 

"No no... that didn't just happen." Molly wailed and the tears she'd been fighting all day flowed. 

Jacqui steered her to the toilet to help, leaving Georgie to be consoled by Elvis. The damage wasn't too bad. They dress hadn't been stained and a blast from the hand driers soon had it looking just as it should. 

"I'm fine now." Molly reassured Jacqui and begged for some time alone, and so as soon as she could, as some as she was left alone, she slipped outside into the gardens. Finding herself a quiet hidden spot, she looked up at the night sky. Those pesky tears returned and this time they wouldn't bloody stop. 

"I suppose this is a step up from an Afghan shitter." His chocolate voice dropped into her senses. He then laughed nervously as soon as he was close enough to feel her warmth. Hoping she was as pleased to see him again as he was her. 

She didn't turn, just waited until he was sitting beside her and then grabbed his hand in hers. Rubbing her fingers across his knuckles.

"You took your bleeding time." She laughed through the tears she was trying to hide from him. 

Feeling her warm small hand in his thrilled him, it had been too long, and he craved her touch.

"I know. I'm sorry Molly. Traffic was awful." Then caught up in the magic of it all he turned and said. "You look beautiful by the way." 

"That's ok you came." Then as his compliment registered, feeling his gaze on her face, she replied. "Thank you." 

They stared at each other, their gazes saying so much more at this moment than their words could. 

"Your welcome." He softly replied. "Now I have someone in there that's desperate to see you again. You ready for this?"

He released her hand that she still held in his, and used both to brush the final tears away from her face. "He's really missed you, you know." 

Looking back at him and almost losing herself in the huge brown eyes that never left her face, she replied honestly. 

"Me too Charles." 

The welcome she got from Sam just brought all those tears back, yet again, for both of them, even though they both knew it wasn't that cool for a 13 year old to cry. They spent a long time together, by party standards, catching up on each other's lives. Both comfortable instantly despite the missing years. He had grown so much in theirs years apart, but he was still just Sam. 

From that moment, the moment Charles and Sam arrived, Molly's enjoyment of the day really started. When she needed to mingle, move on to her other guests, she watched Charles from across the room. Initially noticing he was very reserved, very cautious with his old section. They never held him to blame for any of the events in Nepal, they had missed him though and in the main had all soon afterwards moved on. The old two section was no more. Brains left, married Sarah and went into teaching. Dangles was something in the City, him and Jacqui still very much in love and still very much childless. Jacqui insisting that's how she wanted it, but Molly could see the longing way she stroked Georgie's bump. Eventually though, Molly noticed, as Charles' night went on he became more relaxed in their company, and this pleased her. 

As she moved around the room, wherever she went, whoever she talked to she was conscious of just him. He watched her almost constantly, never shying away from her gaze when she checked on him. Never ashamed to be caught looking at her so obviously, offering a face splitting smile to her each and every time. It made her feel special again, losing herself in those wonderful dark eyes. Flirting without words, expressing their feeling with just looks, had always been their speciality. The romance and familiarity of what they were doing not lost on either of them, or anyone else in the room. 

The afternoon soon turned into evening, and the evening soon turned into night. Ben and Molly's party was as coming to a close. Friends, family were starting to say their farewells. Gradually only a few remained. Molly regretted the night's ending. Despite trying she had been unable to talk to Charles alone all night, and now he was leaving. Sam was tired and was looking forward to a sleep over at uncle Elvis' house. 

Georgie very subtlety had offered to take Sam back with her and Elvis. Nine months pregnant she was the taxi driver for them all. Suggesting Charles came back later, both were highly embarrassed by her match making attempts. However both remained silent about the plans Georgie had engineered. Both too caught up in their feelings to truly mind. 

At first she thought he had gone with them. As she looked around the almost empty room she couldn't see him and started to make her way out, helping Ben with a very wobbly John. Sad that Charles hadn't taken the opportunity to be alone with her, wishing they had had more time. But then she saw him, standing by his car, alone, legs crossed, head hug low unsure of her response at him being there. She walked up to him.

"You're still here." She almost whispered as she got close enough him. Almost afraid she'd scare him away. She stepped very close to him, as he moved into her.

"I'm still here Molly." Tracing his finger slowly down her jaw, and holding her gaze. His whole body sung with nervousness, having little confidence in the situation. It had been a long time since they had been so physically close with such obvious electricity between them. He smiled and lowered his forehead onto hers, and asked. "Can I give you a lift home?" His warm sweet breath tickling her lips as she spoke.

It was unexpected, of all the things she had wanted, had expected him to say, she hadn't expected him to say that, but it thrilled her never the less that he did. That he was still looking out for her. 

"Please. That would be great." She beamed back at him. Wanting to convey everything in that look. She watched him bite his lower lip, his eyes fluttering down to hers. She was confident he knew her feeling and she shyly lowered her eyes from his. For a moment it was almost too much to feel, after such a long time of feeling nothing.

He held the passenger door open for her and she went to duck under his long outstretched arm to get in. Giggling as she did so, feeling so happy. On hearing that cherished sound his senses awoke, from the dream they had been in for too long. He loved her, always had. He had been a fool to ever let her go. So he grabbed her by the waist, caught her in his arms, stopped her, hesitated ever so briefly, then kissed her. Taking her eager lips to his, pouring all his love and regret into their first kiss for over four years. She responded in kind, and they stayed that way for mere moments, but it was enough.

It was a start. 

It was their start...because everything starts somewhere.

Sent from my iPhone

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	21. Chapter 21

**Everything Starts Somewhere**

 **Epilogue**

"Calm down. We'll get there. Don't worry." 

"I am. I can't believe this. For God's sake. This wasn't meant to happen for weeks!"

"Elvis I'll get you there I promise. She'll still be there. Trust me."

Elvis chewed at his finger nails. He glanced constantly between his watch and the countryside quickly passing him by. He was grubby and exhausted from his journey back, but all he wanted was to get there.

"She'll kill me if I miss it." He muttered to himself, and then turned to his friend. "Shit can't you go any faster Charles?"

Charles laughed silently at his friend's impatience. There had been a mad dash to get him this far, one he obviously wasn't appreciative of. He'd been away on manoeuvres when the news came that Georgie had gone into labour earlier than expected. The wheels of the Army efficiency machine then went into over drive and pulled Elvis out, as promised. Charles had dropped everything to collect him and to get him to Georgie's side on time. He knew how important it was, not just for the experience but also for his general health. Elvis' life wouldn't be worth living if he missed this. Georgie would give him hell. 

Eventually they arrived at the hospital and Elvis sprinted off leaving Charles to make his own way to the delivery suite at a more decent speed, where he found them all. A waiting room full of Elvis and Georgie's family, all who had been there every step of the way of this easy pregnancy.

"How's she doing?" Charles asked the collective group, offering 'hellos' and hugs, and was assaulted with numerous replies. Most of them ranging from the sensible to totally ridiculous. Everyone had an opinion and an experience they needed to share. The volatile Italian side of Elvis' family, mixed in with the dramatic side of Georgie's was almost over powering. Charles felt sorry for the staff. 

He felt her presence long before he saw her. That feeling of total happiness washing over him whenever she was close by. The total contentment he felt when they shared a space. 

"Hello you." She said as he spun round to great her with a huge smile. He bent low and wrapped her gingerly into a hug. Kissing her forehead as he held her. Aware of just how delicate she was, his hold was loose. She'd been Georgie's birthing partner, a stand in until Elvis turned up. Now Elvis was here her job was over. "You ok?" He gently asked of her, looking into Molly's tired eyes that still managed to light up and twinkle for him.

"Shattered. Pleased Elvis is here. Though I'm unsure how much help he'll be." She laughed. "You'd think it being their third and all that he'd be a bit calmer." She ran her hand across his chest as she looked at him, taking in her wonderful man standing in front of her. She breathed him in, held onto him. Their foreheads slowly connected and they gazed at one another. They hadn't seen each other for three days. Three very long, lonely days in both their eyes, and both Molly and Charles needed this small tradition of touch to make right their world and everything in it again. 

"Come on I'm taking you home." He said moments later, turning her into his body. She wiggled her ever changing body shape about a bit then fitted into him and instantly wrapped her arm around his waist. "You...Mrs James...need to rest, get those feet up and let me pamper you." He kissed her nose delighted in the smile she beamed back at him.

"Missed me?" She teased.

"Always do Molly." It was his practiced heartfelt reply, and he noticed how she did not argue and accepted his order. A sign just how tired she was. 

They walked to the car blissfully to be once again in each other's company, in each other's arms. Her walk was slow and awkward pulled up against his tall frame, but she relished the feeling of possession it gave her. Feeling tired, and pleased her shift was over now Elvis had arrived. This was Elvis and Georgie's third child, and the third time Molly had to do this for Georgie. This time though it was all very rushed, she had literally finished her business trip and rushed from the train to the hospital. There had been no time to see one another until now, Georgie had needed her more.

Charles would never say but he slightly resented Georgie's dependency on Molly this time. All the other times she had been there for Georgie he hadn't minded, but now things were different, they both knew that, Molly needed to look after herself, but as always she put others first. He worried about her, wanted to look after her as best he could, Molly was pregnant with their first child, but despite Charles' pleas for her to slow down she hadn't, she wouldn't, he guessed she probably couldn't.

They travelled home in comfortable silence, one hand entwined with the other's, resting in the centre console. All they needed was each other. Love had driven out their sorrows and guilt. They were comfortable with that and each other, the memories of their past happily now part of them.

Initially when they first got back together there had been talk of Charles leaving the Army too. He wanted to prove to Molly and to all they knew he'd always choose Molly, he'd never run again. She was however very much against that and so Charles stayed in the Army while Molly worked hard with her new business. It had been the hard work she had expected and then some more. Working long hard days, travelling far and wide across the country with Ben, but always coming back home to Charles. She loved this new life she was leading, finding a total confidence in everything that she tackled, and the greatest joy was that she was able to share it with Charles.

Right from their beginning he was honest with her. He opened up to Molly, admitting he still needed help. He still had doubts, fears and guilt over past tragedies. With her by his side he agreed to attend sessions to care for his mental health, and he still did. It was never going to be an easy fix. It took time, commitment, and Molly's love. He still had dark days, but these were few now, and he never shut Molly out again. Sometimes he used therapy weekly; at other times it could be months between sessions. But he never ran again. 

All their friends and family had accepted their reunion; most felt it was totally expected as no one had ever believed that Molly and Charles' story was truly over. All had expected another chapter, one that lasted all their lives and had the happy ending they deserved, and that's what they got. 

Most were happy for them, they even received her Nan's blessing again, Charles readmitted back into the Dawes clan, all were happy except Ben. He was still very protective of Molly. He knew how hard she had worked to get over Charles the first time and didn't trust that Charles wouldn't hurt her again. The two main men in Molly's life, at their first proper 'get to know each other' dinner had been tense and it was embarrassing for all. Both men saw themselves as her protector, the important player in Molly's life, not believing that maybe she had room in her heart for both of them. They were alpha males circling around each other constantly, both finding it difficult to meet a middle ground that would allow a friendship to grow. 

It was this situation between Ben and Charles that very quickly lead Molly to move out of the home she shared with Ben and John. She was sad to leave them, missed their company, but realised it was the only way to keep her friendship with all. Never wanting Charles to feel uncomfortable saying over, and hating the frequent pieces of advice and caution Ben used to give her. So she bravely stepped outside of her safe life again, leaving on good terms and rented her own flat, a declaration to all that her life would always have Charles in from here on in. It was a place when Charles drove up to see her most weekends they had their own space, space where they rediscovered each other, reconnected with each other. She had chosen her everything, and her everything was Charles. 

Very quickly as their business grew and Molly and Ben gained teaching contracts, especially within the Military section, both men though realised that they needed to put aside their pride for Molly's sake. Distance and infrequent meet ups helped, both no longer having to tolerate the other's intrusion in their daily lives as much. An entente arose between them, and Molly rejoiced, they all even developed a friendship of sorts. 

Charles was true to his word, as soon as he got her home he started to pamper her. She lay in their bath wallowing in both the expensive mother to be bubbles he'd bought her, and the happiness that now was her life. Thoughts drifting back to her wedding day as she caught the flash from the band of gold on her left hand. Their wedding had been everything they wanted it to be. The beginning of a new chapter in their lives that started exactly one year after the car park kiss when Charles proposed.

The proposal meant everything to her, for it was perfect for them. He hadn't gotten down on one knee; he hadn't done the whole pre planned romantic gesture thing. He just realised one night, as he held her in his arms, watching the TV that they were _there_ , in that _place_ , they had almost been in it once before but how he knew it was time.

She smiled at the memory. His proposal went along the lines of asking of her if she wanted a cup of tea, and whether she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him as his wife. Her head had slowly turned towards his saying thank you but no to the cup of tea, but most definitely yes to being by his side for always.

It was mere weeks later that they married. No big do. No fuss. He wore a nice suit, she wore a nice dress. Around her neck though she wore her treasured half a silver heart necklace, the one he had given her over ten years ago, while he carried the matching other half on his person just as he had always done. Ben, John and Sam were their witnesses and only guests. It was simple; it was for them and no one else. No grand ceremony needed, all it needed was Charles and Molly confirming what everyone else already new, their love for each other.

When friends and family were told, each and every one accepted the news in their own way, but all eventually rejoiced in this new official couple. Even both sets of parents understood why and what they had done, no love was ever lost.

Now here she was was, nearly two years married, and six months pregnant. She was very proud of her new name, Mrs Charles James, proud of the simple ring on her left hand, proud of her brave husband and proud of her growing tummy.

Charles sat on the floor in their bathroom with her, sharing her pamper time, leaning up against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him reading the pregnancy book that rarely left his side. Every now and then he read out snippets of information to her about 'their' pregnancy. Little facts about what they should expect, what stage baby was at, what would happen next. It always made her smile listening to this stern Major talk so softly to her, about their child, he had wanted to share everything about this pregnancy with her, every stage, and he did. She knew it was because he loved her, and also because he never had this with Rebecca, they just hadn't been that close. She sighed disgustingly happy; it had been a long three days away from each other, she was pleased to be back, but it had been necessary, and their future had needed to be sorted out.

"This is lovely. Thank you." She turned her head towards him with pleading eyes. "Would be even better though if I had candles and a glass of chilled white in my hand."

Charles jumped up and planted a loud kiss on top of her head.

"Candles I can do, wine…..really? No!"

She laughed as she saw his pretend face of shock, teasing her like she was teasing him. He left his book on the side and he left the bathroom only to return minutes later with candles, and she noted even better than that he had come back shirtless. Molly almost purred with delight, she had a wonderful idea where all this was going. She silently praised herself, thrilled with her vision that when they had bought this house she had insisted they remodel the bathroom with a large claw foot bath, big enough for two!

After lighting the numerous candles, dimmed the lights he turned to her, and pulled off his remaining clothes and slipped into the bath behind her. Her smile nearly splitting her face, and she giggled like a love struck school girl. He wrapped his arms and legs around her body, holding his love and their child close to him as possible. Running his hand softly over her growing belly. No words were said, they just lay there happy with each other for minutes.

Eventually Charles spoke.

"So when you going to tell me what you and Ben decided?"

She had spent the past days in London, discussing with Ben about their business and what would happen once Molly's baby came along. Within six months of Charles and Molly getting back together again Molly had already moved down to Bulford to live with Charles. Giving up her flat it was an easy move, and such an easy choice. She was able to work from home, where ever that was, and when teaching needed to be delivered she consolidated her time away from Charles down to two to three days at the most. They both tried to spend as little time apart as they possibly could. It had been a very successful situation for all, and possibly would have continued for much longer had Molly not fallen pregnant. So now plans needed to be made for all their futures.

She signed irritatingly before she spoke. Their tranquillity, she feared about to be broken.

"He agrees with you, and John. There's only me who's unsure, but yes, he thinks it's best to take a year off and then rethink my options. Get someone in part time to do the teaching and me to continue doing teaching plans and that from home once little bub is here."

He stroked the damp hair away from her neck and leaned forward resting his chin on her shoulders. Knowing she was struggling.

"I want you to do what will make you happy. I still just want to make you happy you know?" He told her.

"Yeah I know. It's just that I've come up with a better idea for us all. I think." She answered him back, hesitantly, unsure what he'd think of her almost completed idea. Something she and Ben had finally agreed on without her really discussing it through with Charles beforehand. To Molly it was the only way, and she hoped Charles agreed.

"Well come on then spill Mrs James, I'm all ears." He leaned back ready to listen; she rested her body against his chest, not looking at him for now.

"I've asked Ben to buy me out of the business." The words came out quickly and she turned to catch the end of the surprised look on his face. "What do you think?" She waited, watching him catch his lips between his teeth, mulling over her words. His brow creased in thought.

"Why Molly? What's made you ask that?" He was confused the business was Molly's pride and joy, she loved her job. In three years they had been amazingly successful, making a profit and gained a sound reputation. Her move to Bulford, and separation from Ben hadn't caused any issues with the business. He'd expected her to have a year's maternity leave and then return back to her job, that's what he thought she'd want, and he was willing to support her in that.

She turned herself into a half sitting, half knelling position to get closer to him, so she could look in his face. Not entirely comfortable, but entirely necessary.

"Cause Charles I don't want to be going off here and there all the time. I want to be at home with you and baby. I don't want to be shooting off to train some office employees that don't give a dam what I tell them, when all I'll be thinking of is what I've left behind at home."

He smiled at her words but stayed silent, allowing her to continue.

"You said we don't need my wage, really, that we'd be ok on just yours for a while. I'm not saying that I don't want to work ever. I probably will, but for now the next few years I want to concentrate on you, on Baby, on Sam, on our new family." She looked at him concerned. It was a big decision she'd made on her own, knew it was the right one for her, for them, but she was unsure if Charles would be unhappy that she'd made it without him. That's not how they did things anymore. They shared, talked, decided usually together.

He looked at her carefully, considering all she had just said, what she had done.

"So let me get this right Molly." He started slowly, carefully. There was too much resting on this for mis-understanding. "You've asked Ben to buy you out? You're going to give up work completely for the next couple of years? There will be no more going away, no more working from home. It will be just you, me and the baby?" He asked.

"Yes." She replied with confidence. She knew she wasn't giving up her dreams; she was just taking a break from this current one, to follow her true dream of living a happy life with Charles and their baby, maybe even babies. "Is that Ok?"

He pulled his arms out from where they had got wedged under her when she had manoeuvred to face him, and then he wrapped them around her.

"I think it fucking brilliant Molly. Thank you." And he kissed her, it was what he wanted, them as a family together, but he would never have asked her to give up so much for him.

And so that's exactly how it happened, just like most things in their lives did now a day, with efficiency and with very little pomp or ceremony. Molly sold her share of the business, just one week before Alice Elizabeth James was born, and as soon as she was Molly, as soon as she held her, she knew she had made the right decision for them all. She couldn't choose to leave her new life, her family. Her time would come again but for now she was needed here.

Motherhood was another challenge that Molly took in her stride and in Charles' eye she was perfect at it. A few bumpy sleep deprived months, a total shock to the system and mourning a life style they had grown accustomed to, that all eventually settled down into a happy family James rhythm, in which everyone thrived.

Molly and Charles' love only grew stronger, both needing each other to be brilliant in their daily lives, both needing each other to help over any hurdles life threw along their way. One such surprising hurdle being when 14 months later Peter Oliver James came screaming into the world, closely followed minutes later by his younger twin sister Lucy Mary James. Now a house hold of five, and more often than not of six when Sam stayed over, both Molly and Charles felt everything they had everything they had gone through, every moment they were apart, was worth it because it brought then to their happy ever after.


End file.
